1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,922 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,015 (chalk screeches) 3 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,643 (bell rings) 4 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,525 (work whistle blows) 5 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,905 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 6 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:43,334 (jazzy solo) 7 00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:47,380 (tires screech) 8 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,096 (tires screeching) 9 00:00:58,558 --> 00:00:59,809 (horn honks) 10 00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:02,187 (tires screech) 11 00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,398 D'oh! 12 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,734 -Aah! -(tires screech) 13 00:01:22,373 --> 00:01:25,001 {\an8}MAN: Live from beautiful Laughlin, Nevada. 14 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,545 {\an8}It's the Miss American Girl Pageant. 15 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,006 {\an8}Brought to you by Meryl Streep's Versatility. 16 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,133 {\an8}Smell like Streep for cheap. 17 00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,344 {\an8}I'm your host Troy McClure, and now 18 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:37,013 {\an8}here come the ladies. 19 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,642 {\an8}♪ We learned the truth at 17 ♪ 20 00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:44,771 {\an8}♪ That love was meant for beauty queens ♪ 21 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:47,357 {\an8}TROY: Like Miss South Dakota. 22 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,942 {\an8}Miss North Carolina. 23 00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:51,444 {\an8}Miss Indiana. 24 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,530 {\an8}-Miss Alaska. -Kids, I won't be home tonight, 25 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:56,908 {\an8}so I'm leaving you some low-cal microwavable TV dinners. 26 00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:58,076 {\an8}Okay. 27 00:01:58,159 --> 00:01:59,869 {\an8}I'm auditioning for a play. 28 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,289 {\an8}It's a musical version of "A Streetcar Named Desire." 29 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,041 {\an8}Isn't that exciting? 30 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:09,295 {\an8}TROY: If you ask me, they're all winners. 31 00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,797 {\an8}We'll be cutting our first 40 contestants 32 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,299 {\an8}right after this. 33 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,551 TROY: Let's take a minute to meet 34 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,344 our distinguished panel of judges. 35 00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:19,139 Skin care consultant Rowena. 36 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:22,058 Syndicated columnist William F. George. 37 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,686 Token black panelist Dredrick Tatum 38 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,980 and Mr. Boswell, 39 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,524 the man behind those infamous worst-dressed lists. 40 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,192 Mr. Boswell, can you give us 41 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,819 a sneak peek at this year's list? 42 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,654 Memo to Goldie Hawn: 43 00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:36,447 cheerleading try-outs were 30 years ago. 44 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:39,242 -Let's grow up, shall we? -(laughing) 45 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,911 (laughs) He's such a bitch. 46 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,122 I haven't been in a play since high school, 47 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:47,250 and I thought it would be a good chance to meet some other adults. 48 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,543 Sounds interesting. 49 00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:51,379 You know, I spend all day alone with Maggie, 50 00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:53,798 and sometimes it's like I don't even exist. 51 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,342 -Sounds interesting. -(groans) 52 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:59,929 It's time to name our five finalists, starting with 53 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,681 Miss Montana. 54 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:03,433 A beaut from Butte. 55 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,976 Miss South Carolina. 56 00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:06,519 Nothing could be finer. 57 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,146 Miss Delaware. 58 00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:11,733 Gee, uh... 59 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:12,650 good for her. 60 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,695 ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 61 00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,906 Marge, keep it down in there. 62 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:20,158 Homer, my audition is in half-- 63 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:23,703 Hey, look, it's last year's winner, Debra Del Smallwood! 64 00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:26,664 Tonight, my reign as Miss American Girl 65 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:27,999 comes to an end, 66 00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:30,835 and I'd like to apologize one last time 67 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:34,088 for my unfortunate remarks at the United Nations. 68 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,382 (playing Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies) 69 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,094 Maggie, cut that racket! 70 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,140 And where exactly are you going? 71 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,476 I'm auditioning for a play. 72 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,394 Well, this is the first I've heard about it. 73 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,146 I told you several times. 74 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,190 It's a musical version of "A Streetcar Named--" 75 00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:53,650 Excuse me, Marge. 76 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,361 I think that if you had told me, I would remember. 77 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,779 I mean, I'm not an idiot. 78 00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:01,115 -Well, I thought I told you-- -Kids, back me up. 79 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,617 -He's right, Mom. -Sorry. 80 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:05,161 Match point, Homer. 81 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,412 I'm sorry, honey. 82 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,122 That's okay. We're none of us perfect. 83 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,041 {\an8}(people warming up their voices, piano) 84 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,087 ♪ Me-may-mow-mo-moo ♪ 85 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,090 Well, howdy do, neighbor. 86 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:19,509 Hi, Ned, I didn't know you were an actor. 87 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,052 Oh, Indeedily doodily. 88 00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:23,263 I've even been in "Streetcar" once before. 89 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:26,015 I played Blanche Dubois. Mm-hmm. 90 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,476 Just part of the fun of going to an all-male school. 91 00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:32,438 Hello, I am Llewelyn Sinclair. 92 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,774 I have directed three plays in my career, 93 00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:37,110 and I have had three heart attacks. 94 00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:39,028 That's how much I care. 95 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:41,447 I'm planning for a fourth. 96 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,700 Maybe I should have taken a nice calligraphy class. 97 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,869 Oh, forget about it, that Mr. Takahashi's a lunatic. 98 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,288 -Quiet! -Sorry. 99 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:51,124 I am not an easy man to work for. 100 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:54,544 While directing "Hats Off to Chanukah," 101 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:57,630 I reduced more than one cast member to tears. 102 00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:01,718 Did I expect too much from fourth graders? 103 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:05,847 {\an8}The review, "Play Enjoyed By All" speaks for itself. 104 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,307 Hmm. 105 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,309 Those auditioning for the role of Stanley, 106 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,769 take off your shirts. 107 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,980 Take off your shirts! 108 00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,940 Deshabillez votre chemises. 109 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:19,027 Schnell, schnell, schnell! 110 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,069 Uh-uh. 111 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,237 Nope. 112 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,156 Try joining a gym. 113 00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:25,658 Oh, ye Gods! 114 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:29,037 Hey, man, if you like that, you should see my butt. 115 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,331 You, you're my Stanley. 116 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,749 Hotdiggity. 117 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:36,336 How about that, Marge? Little old Stanley me. 118 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,670 (softly) Stella. 119 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,422 (louder) Stella! Heh heh heh. 120 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,215 ♪ Hey, look me over-- ♪ 121 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:43,259 -Next. -♪ Won't you come home Bill Bai-- ♪ 122 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,218 Next. 123 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,803 ♪ There's got to be a-- ♪ 124 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,180 -Next. -♪ Lah-- ♪ 125 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,891 Thank you for nothing. 126 00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:51,642 You're all terrible. 127 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,395 What you ladies don't understand is that Blanche 128 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,522 is a delicate flower 129 00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,317 being trampled by an uncouth lout. 130 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,319 (sighs) Forget it. 131 00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:02,528 Just strike the sets. 132 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:03,404 Clear the stage. 133 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,655 This production is-- 134 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,158 Homie, I didn't get the part. 135 00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:10,078 You were right, outside interests are stupid. 136 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,412 Wait a minute. 137 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:14,332 (groans) I'll come home right away. 138 00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:17,043 All right, I'll pick up a bucket of fried chicken 139 00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:18,961 extra skin. 140 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:22,465 Rolls, chocolate cream parfait-- 141 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:23,716 (gasps) 142 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,303 Stop bothering my Blanche! 143 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,304 (gasps) 144 00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:35,311 I play an aging southern beauty 145 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,896 who's driven to insanity 146 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:39,315 by her brutish brother-in-law Stanley. 147 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,484 Wow! My mother, the actress. 148 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,903 I feel like Lucie Arnaz-Luckinbill. 149 00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:45,988 Are there any jive-talking robots in this play? 150 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,490 Hmm, I don't think so. 151 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:49,492 Bart, don't ask stupid questions. 152 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,035 Is there any frontal nudity? 153 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,078 No, Homer. 154 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:54,080 My name is Helen Lovejoy, 155 00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,832 and I'll be playing Stella. 156 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,792 I am Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. 157 00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:59,252 I play Steve. 158 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:01,838 My name is Otto. 159 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,382 I'm playing Pablo. 160 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:06,050 Lionel Hutz, attorney at law. 161 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,678 I'm filing a class-action suit against the director 162 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,139 on behalf of everyone who was cut from the play. 163 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:12,432 I also play Mitch. 164 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,516 I'm Marge Simpson. 165 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,143 I'll be playing Blanche. 166 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,270 I made some peanut butter brownies for everyone. 167 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:23,443 Well, would anyone else like a bite of banality? 168 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:24,277 I would. 169 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,403 -Stanley... -Yeah. 170 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,447 you're-you're pulsing with animal lust. 171 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,032 You take Blanche and you fling her roughly to the bed. 172 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,159 Roger-dodger. 173 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,118 (grunts) 174 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:34,704 (growls) 175 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,041 Aw! Isn't that cute? 176 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,294 Me without a camera. 177 00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:44,755 Here, my sister runs a day-care center. 178 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:48,593 Hmm. I guess a few weeks wouldn't hurt her. 179 00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:51,095 {\an8}MARGE: Maggie is allergic to strained pears 180 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,973 and she likes a bottle of warm milk before nap time. 181 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:56,225 A bottle? (laughs) 182 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,895 Mrs. Simpson, do you know what a baby's saying 183 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,021 when she reaches for a bottle? 184 00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:01,314 Ba-ba? 185 00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:04,150 She's saying, "I am a leech." 186 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:07,320 Our aim here is to develop the bottle within. 187 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,405 That sounds awfully harsh. 188 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,992 Mrs. Simpson, I don't like to toot my own horn, 189 00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:16,287 but we're the only day-care center in town 190 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:19,707 that's not currently under investigation by the state. 191 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:20,750 Oh. 192 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,335 Well, be a good girl, Maggie. 193 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,342 I'm sorry, Maggie. 194 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,385 We don't allow these here. 195 00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,226 ♪ You're a dame, and I'm a fella ♪ 196 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:41,729 ♪ Stanley, stop, or I'll tell Stella ♪ 197 00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:43,564 Passion, Mrs. Simpson! 198 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,691 Anger. This man disgusts you. 199 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,027 ♪ All I want is one embrace ♪ 200 00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,863 ♪ I'll twist this bottle in your face ♪ 201 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,365 (grunting softly) 202 00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:54,242 (laughs) Here, Marge, let me. 203 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,660 Hate to be an Armchair Blanche, 204 00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:57,745 but I always gave it one of these. 205 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,123 (chuckles) There, there's the old face shredder. 206 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,292 -Oh. -Mrs. Simpson, if you set out 207 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,461 to push the bile to the tip of my throat, 208 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,713 mission accomplished. 209 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,549 I'm, uh... 210 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,384 I'm gonna crawl into bed with a bottle of amaretto. 211 00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,469 Good day. 212 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,513 HOMER: Easy, easy. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 213 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:17,890 -D'oh! -Seven-ten split. 214 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,976 Homer, can you run some lines with me? 215 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,686 Make Bart do it. 216 00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,229 It will just take a sec. 217 00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:24,146 Gutter ball. 218 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,023 D'oh! You see, Marge? 219 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,441 While you're off in your own little world, 220 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,902 you forgot that other people have problems too. 221 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:46,043 (sighs) 222 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,212 (theme music from "The Great Escape" playing) 223 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,783 (crashing) 224 00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:23,122 (thuds) 225 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,208 Don't like to nap, eh? 226 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,501 We have a place for babies like you. 227 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,170 The box! 228 00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:31,797 (theme music from "The Great Escape" playing) 229 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:43,142 All right, let amateur night in Dixie commence. 230 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,146 I'm sorry, Llewelyn. 231 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:49,774 I just-- I just don't see why Blanche should 232 00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:52,360 shove a broken bottle in Stanley's face. 233 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,153 Couldn't she just take his abuse 234 00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:56,364 with gentle good humor? 235 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,699 Marge, your ride's here. 236 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:01,369 Homer, it will just be a few minutes more. 237 00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:04,121 ♪ You're a dame, and I'm a fella ♪ 238 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,582 ♪ Stanley, stop, or I'll tell Stella ♪ 239 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,292 LLEWELYN: Marge, Marge... 240 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,628 I'm asking for white-hot rage, 241 00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:13,297 and you're giving me a hissy fit. 242 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,925 Marge, can I get some change for the candy machine? 243 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,468 Oh, here! 244 00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:19,470 (coins clinking) 245 00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:21,514 {\an8}Hey, there's some quarters in here. 246 00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:24,392 I just don't see what's so bad about Stanley. 247 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:25,685 (angry grunting) 248 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:29,605 -Stanley is thoughtless, violent and loud. -(Homer grunting loudly) 249 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,149 Marge, every second you spend with this man, 250 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,652 he is crushing your fragile spirit. 251 00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:36,320 You can't let that happen. 252 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:38,656 (Homer yelling) 253 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,118 Woo-hoo! Come to papa. 254 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:43,828 Marge, I'll be out in the car. 255 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:46,622 ♪ All I want is one embrace ♪ 256 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,958 (horn honking) 257 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,501 HOMER: Marge, move it or lose it. 258 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,674 (angrily) ♪ I'll twist this bottle in your face ♪ 259 00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,135 (grunts) 260 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,804 Alleluia! I have done it again. 261 00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,432 Ned, you're supposed to overpower her. 262 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:05,766 I'm trying, I'm trying. 263 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,435 (both grunting) 264 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:14,316 Salt me. 265 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,902 (Bad Southern accent) Here you are, Homer. 266 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:19,238 What the-- Why are you talking like that? 267 00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:20,656 The play's tomorrow night. 268 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,825 I've got to stay in character. 269 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,243 (Southern drawl) Hey Mom, would it help 270 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:26,078 -if I talked like this too? -It might. 271 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,706 (British accent) And I'll talk like this. Bob's your uncle, mate. 272 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,249 That really doesn't help, Bart. 273 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,710 Big Daddy, would y'all mind passing a little ol' biscuit? 274 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:35,254 (British accent) Can I slog off school tomorrow? Got a pain in me gulliver. 275 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:37,214 I'm living in a cuckoo clock. 276 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,883 Ooh! See ya' later kids. 277 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:41,010 I've got to go rehearse with Ned. 278 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,845 But Marge, What about dessert? 279 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:45,598 For God sakes, you can pull the lid off your own can of pudding! 280 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,099 Fine! I will! 281 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:50,686 (screaming) 282 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,731 Oh, no, my pudding is trapped forever. 283 00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:56,108 So I can open my own can of pudding, can I? 284 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,611 Shows what you know, Marge. 285 00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:00,863 Marge! 286 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,408 Hey, Marge! 287 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,619 Keep yelling, you big ape. 288 00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,829 (chuckles) Aren't you being a little hard on old Homie? 289 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,331 Oh, forget about him. 290 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,249 Let's rehearse the bottle scene. 291 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,920 Oh-ho, let's not and say we did, hmm? 292 00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:17,338 (reading quietly) 293 00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:20,174 So, what time does this play start? 294 00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:21,675 Why, are you going? 295 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,093 Well, I got to go, don't I? 296 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:24,845 I'm sure you won't enjoy it. 297 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,806 There's nothing about bowling in the play. 298 00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,891 Oh, wait, there is. 299 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,309 Probably not much of it. 300 00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:32,311 Why can't you be a little more supportive? 301 00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,647 'Cause I don't care, okay? 302 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:35,981 I can't fake an interest in this, 303 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,441 and I'm an expert at faking an interest 304 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,235 in your kooky projects. 305 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,820 What kooky projects? 306 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,112 You know, the painting class, 307 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,073 the first aid course, the whole Lamaze thing. 308 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,991 Why didn't you tell me you felt this way? 309 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:49,161 You know I would never do anything to hurt your feelings. 310 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,748 Good night. (snoring) 311 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,751 (groaning) 312 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:59,129 {\an8}Playing nicely, little humans? Good, good. 313 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,673 Hello, Maggie. 314 00:14:00,756 --> 00:14:01,799 Poor little dullard. 315 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,515 (theme from "The Great Escape" plays) 316 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:34,790 KRUSTY DOLL: Hey, kids! I'm flame-retardant. (laughing) 317 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:50,681 (gasps) 318 00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:56,896 DOLL: If I break, buy a new one. (laughing) 319 00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:00,691 (glass shatters) 320 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,878 (babies clamoring) 321 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,385 {\an8}HOMER: Maggie, time to go to the-- (screams) 322 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:31,847 (echoing sucking sounds) 323 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:51,825 (echoing sucking sounds continues) 324 00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,625 HOMER (shivering): Oh.... babies. 325 00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:05,798 Perhaps we are all a little mad, 326 00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:07,341 we who don the cap and bells, 327 00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,510 and tread beneath the proscenium arch. 328 00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:12,554 But tonight, you will all be transformed 329 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,932 from dead-eyed suburbanites 330 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:18,060 into white-hot grease fires of pure entertainment! 331 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,812 Except you. You're not working out. 332 00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:20,938 I'll be playing your part. 333 00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:21,897 Drag! 334 00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:27,319 ♪ Long before the Superdome ♪ 335 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:31,573 ♪ Where the Saints of football play ♪ 336 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:36,120 ♪ Lived a city that the damned call home ♪ 337 00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:42,418 ♪ Hear their hellish roundelay ♪ 338 00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:51,468 ♪ New Orleans ♪ 339 00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,512 ♪ Home of pirates, drunks, and whores ♪ 340 00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:55,764 ♪ New Orleans ♪ 341 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,850 ♪ Tacky, overpriced souvenir stores ♪ 342 00:16:57,933 --> 00:16:59,935 ♪ If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip ♪ 343 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,104 ♪ To the Sodom and Gomorrah on the Mississip ♪ 344 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,440 ♪ New Orleans ♪ 345 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:08,527 ♪ Stinking, rotten, vomity, vile, New Orleans ♪ 346 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,863 ♪ Putrid, brackish, maggoty, foul ♪ 347 00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:13,198 ♪ New Orleans ♪ 348 00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,200 ♪ Crummy, lousy, wretched and rank ♪ 349 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:17,494 ♪ New Orleans ♪ 350 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:20,080 ACTRESS: What's the matter, honey? Are ya' lost? 351 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,874 MARGE: I'm looking for my sister, Stella. 352 00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:23,250 LISA: It's Mom! 353 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:24,334 Huh? 354 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:27,004 My name is Blanche Dubois. 355 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:37,264 ♪ I thought my life would be a Mardi Gras ♪ 356 00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:40,309 ♪ A never-ending party ♪ 357 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,061 Ha! 358 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:48,942 ♪ I'm a faded Southern dame without a dime ♪ 359 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,239 I'm collecting for The Evening Star. 360 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,491 Come here. 361 00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:58,035 I want to kiss you just once, 362 00:17:58,118 --> 00:18:02,831 softly and sweetly on your mouth. 363 00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:09,713 ♪ I am just a simple paper boy ♪ 364 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:13,801 ♪ No romance do I seek ♪ 365 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:17,096 ♪ I just wanted 40 cents ♪ 366 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:22,101 ♪ For my deliveries last week ♪ 367 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:26,105 ♪ Will this bewitching floozy ♪ 368 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:30,150 ♪ Seduce this humble newsy ♪ 369 00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:36,198 ♪ Oh, what's a paper boy to ♪ 370 00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:44,206 ♪ Do? ♪ 371 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,334 Whoo-hoo! 372 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,755 Stella! 373 00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:55,634 Stella! 374 00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:59,012 ♪ Can't you hear me yell-a ♪ 375 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:02,558 ♪ You're puttin' me through hell-a ♪ 376 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,309 ♪ Stella ♪ 377 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,978 Stella! 378 00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:10,023 (Marge moaning, shouting) 379 00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:14,987 Cool, she can fly. 380 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:18,574 I think it's supposed to symbolize her descent into madness. 381 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:21,702 (moaning, shouting continue) 382 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,874 Whoever you are, 383 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:32,254 I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. 384 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:37,259 ♪ You can always depend on the kindness of strangers ♪ 385 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:41,138 ♪ To buck up your spirits and shield you from dangers ♪ 386 00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:44,308 ♪ Now, here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret ♪ 387 00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:49,104 ♪ A stranger's just a friend you haven't met ♪ 388 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:53,483 ♪ You haven't met ♪ 389 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,611 ♪ Streetcar! ♪ 390 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:56,695 (applause) 391 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:58,864 -LISA: Yay! -(Bart whistles) 392 00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:01,074 ♪♪ 393 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:02,159 Ahh! 394 00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:05,162 BOTH: Yay! 395 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:21,053 Mwah! Mwah! 396 00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:24,723 You people out there, you are the stars! 397 00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:25,515 Cool! 398 00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:34,066 Hey, look at me! I'm Blanche Dubois. 399 00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:35,234 Mom! 400 00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,903 Oof! Way to go, Mom. 401 00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:39,863 Everybody was cheering for you. 402 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,782 Almost everybody. 403 00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:43,283 Kids, wait in the car. 404 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,078 I want to talk to your mother about this play thing. 405 00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:49,331 (British accent) Looking for a spot of fun with the Missus, eh Gov'nor? 406 00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:52,167 Shut up, boy. Marge, you were terrific. 407 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,669 Oh, come on, Homer. 408 00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:55,462 By the end, you were so bored, 409 00:20:55,545 --> 00:20:58,006 you could barely keep your selfish head up. 410 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,008 I wasn't bored. I was sad. 411 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:04,513 It really got to me how that lady, uh, um... 412 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,473 You know which one I mean. You played her. 413 00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:07,516 Blanche. 414 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:09,851 Yeah, how Blanche was sad, 415 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:12,938 and how that guy, Stanley, should have been nice to her. 416 00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:14,731 Yeah, go on. 417 00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:16,608 I mean, it made me feel bad. 418 00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:19,069 The poor thing ends up being hauled to the nut house, 419 00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:21,238 when all she needed was for that big slob 420 00:21:21,321 --> 00:21:23,824 to show her some respect. 421 00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:25,534 At least, that's what I thought. 422 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:28,287 I have a history of missing the point of stuff like this. 423 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:31,164 No, Homer, you got it just right. 424 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:35,002 Hey, you know, I'm a lot like that guy. 425 00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:36,461 -Really? -Yeah, 426 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:39,172 like when I pick my teeth with the mail and stuff. 427 00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,466 Well, maybe just a little. 428 00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:51,560 ♪♪ 429 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,289 Shh! 430 00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:00,003 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.