1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,922 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:16,516 (chalk screeches) 3 00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:19,060 (bell rings) 4 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,525 (work whistle blows) 5 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,905 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 6 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:43,334 (jazzy solo) 7 00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:47,380 (tires screech) 8 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,096 (tires screeching) 9 00:00:58,558 --> 00:00:59,809 (horn honks) 10 00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:02,187 (tires screech) 11 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,398 D'oh! 12 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,650 -Aah! -(tires screech) 13 00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:13,031 (big band music plays) 14 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:18,161 (carnival music plays) 15 00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:23,833 (elephants trumpet) 16 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:46,856 Hey, Moe, you got change for a five? 17 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,191 Yeah, sure thing, Lenny. 18 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:51,194 Ah! Ow! Ooh! 19 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,404 A snake in the cash register! 20 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,697 (all laughing) 21 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,950 Great prank, fellas. Great. 22 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,868 Oh, I'm gonna be sick tonight. 23 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,246 Hey, Moe, you want to smell my flower? 24 00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:02,205 Do I! 25 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:07,252 Oh! I'm burnin' up here! 26 00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:09,212 Ooh, that's hot. 27 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,965 Taking advantage of my alcohol-soaked clothes. 28 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,843 Oh, it's funny-- and it makes you think. 29 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,970 Oh, I need some coffee before I black out. 30 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,973 Homer, pass me the sugar. 31 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,558 This is gonna be great! 32 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,186 (all groaning) 33 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,521 -Geez! -Oh, man. 34 00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:28,439 Oh, there's sugar all over the bar now. 35 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:29,732 That's not funny, Homer. 36 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,110 Yeah. We were just messin' around, 37 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:34,946 and you had to go too far! 38 00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:38,074 How many people want Homer banned from this place for life? 39 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,325 -Yeah! -Yeah! 40 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,827 Aw, come on, everybody. 41 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,912 This bar is like a tavern to me. 42 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,998 Sorry, Homer, you should have thought of that 43 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:47,167 before you gave me the old "sugar me do." 44 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:50,211 I'm taking your caricature down from Mount Lushmore... 45 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,506 and I'm pulling your favorite song 46 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,008 out of the jukebox. 47 00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:56,926 (gasps) "It's Raining Men"?! 48 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,094 Yeah, not no more, it ain't. 49 00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:01,598 Ow. 50 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,433 Ooh! 51 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,977 (yelling) 52 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:08,188 (chuckles) Joke's on them. 53 00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:09,564 I'm still alive. 54 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,193 Cheer up, Homer. 55 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,319 Can't. 56 00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:15,820 Okay. 57 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,031 What if you pretended this couch were a bar? 58 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:21,159 Then you could spend more nights at home with us. Huh? 59 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:24,370 I'm not going to dignify that with an answer. 60 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,997 Look on the bright side, Dad. 61 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,916 Did you know that the Chinese use the same word 62 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,751 for "crisis" as they do for "opportunity"? 63 00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:33,504 Yes! "Crisitunity!" You're right! 64 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,591 I've been wasting my life away in that dump for years. 65 00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:39,844 That's it! I'm going to find a new bar to drink in, 66 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:43,598 and I'm going to get drunker than I've ever been in my entire life! 67 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:46,226 Bart, where's my wallet? 68 00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:47,227 Right here, Dad. 69 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,269 Thank you! 70 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,110 Wow. Classy. 71 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,570 Good evening, sir. 72 00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,615 Would you please leave without a fuss right now? 73 00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:01,783 Okay. 74 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:10,959 Hmm... this looks like a nice, friendly place. 75 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:14,212 Sammy, you're too old to go on a date with two twins 76 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,089 on the same night you're supposed to marry Diane 77 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,382 without Rebecca knowing. 78 00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:19,092 Okay Carla, I'll make you a bet. 79 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,927 If this affects my major league comeback, 80 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,262 I'll sell the bar. 81 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,347 Woody, give me a beer. 82 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,849 I think you've had enough, Mr. Peterson. 83 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,811 My chiropractor says I can't carry you home anymore. 84 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:33,481 Just give me another beer, you brain-dead hick! 85 00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,942 I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you! 86 00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,235 Woah, settle down Normy. 87 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,195 Gotta save those pipes for karaoke. 88 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,405 (exclaims) 89 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,117 I love you guys. 90 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,618 (sobbing) 91 00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:50,039 (piano plays "Cheers" theme) 92 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,541 (techno music plays) 93 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,379 Wait a minute. 94 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:59,590 There's something bothering me about this place. 95 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:01,884 I know! 96 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:05,054 This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! 97 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:08,016 Enjoy your deathtrap, ladies. 98 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,392 What was her problem? 99 00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,104 (English accent) Greetings, good man. 100 00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:15,773 Might I trouble you for a drink? 101 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,400 Oh, get out of here, Homer. 102 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,944 Homer? Who is Homer? 103 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,947 My name is Guy Incognito. 104 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,408 (punches landing, crashing, shouting) 105 00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:26,826 Ah! 106 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,455 (gasps) 107 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:33,499 Oh, my God. This man is my exact double! 108 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:34,500 (gasps) 109 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,045 That dog has a puffy tail! 110 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,755 (giggling) 111 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,132 Here, puff! Here, puff! 112 00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:42,050 (giggling) 113 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,055 The last bar in Springfield. 114 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:50,850 If they don't let me in here, I'm gonna have to quit drinking. 115 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:53,019 -Yay! -Shut up, liver! 116 00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,646 Ow... my liver hurts. 117 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,111 I'd like a beer, please. 118 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,364 Sorry. You got to be a pilot to drink in here. 119 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:05,698 But I am a pilot. 120 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,075 Where's your uniform? 121 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,369 Um... I stowed it safely 122 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:10,745 in the overhead compartment. 123 00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,663 Well, you talk the talk. 124 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,374 Here's a loaner. 125 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,334 We need a pilot, pronto. 126 00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:18,169 Who wants to fly to the windy city? 127 00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:19,962 -I'll go. -I'm your man. 128 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,547 Conditions are a little windy. 129 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,925 -Well... -On second thought... 130 00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:26,302 -You. -But I-- 131 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,012 Hey, you're not just impersonating a pilot 132 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,555 so you can drink here, are you? 133 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:32,392 Yeah. That's exactly why I'm here. 134 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:33,476 (laughs) 135 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,937 You fly boys, you crack me up. 136 00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:38,356 But I keep telling you, I'm not a pilot! 137 00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:41,359 And I keep telling you, you fly boys crack me up! 138 00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:43,194 Hi. I'm Alan. I'm your copilot. 139 00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:45,238 Uh, yeah. Uh... hmm. 140 00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:47,365 As a change of pace, 141 00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,867 I'm gonna let you do most of the work. 142 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,369 I think you're ready for it, Alan. 143 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:56,290 And, um, I'll just get us started... 144 00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:01,379 Uh, we'll need that to live. 145 00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,596 If word gets out about this, 146 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,183 Quasi-Clown Airlines will be a laughingstock. 147 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,893 In exchange for your silence, 148 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,479 I'm prepared to offer your family free tickets 149 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,022 to anywhere in the United States... 150 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,483 excluding Alaska and Hawaii, the freak states. 151 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,734 Woo-hoo! 152 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,319 HOMER: Good news, everybody! 153 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:28,364 Because I endangered lives, we can fly anywhere we want! 154 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,866 -Alaska! -Hawaii! 155 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,577 Mmm... I don't know, Homer. 156 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:35,746 We're right in the middle of the busy housekeeping season. 157 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:39,250 But Marge, you deserve a vacation. 158 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:42,837 It's a chance for you to clean up after us in a whole other state! 159 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,465 I don't want to be a wet blanket, but getting on a plane like that 160 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,592 seems like a hassle coupled with a burden. 161 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:50,636 Come on Marge, I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. 162 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,555 I want to explore the world. 163 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,599 I want to watch TV in a different time zone. 164 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:57,101 I want to visit strange, exotic malls. 165 00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:58,769 I'm sick of eating hoagies. 166 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,689 I want a grinder... a sub... a foot-long hero! 167 00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:03,232 I want to live, Marge! 168 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,443 Won't you let me live?! 169 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,320 Won't you please?! 170 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:13,534 (chomping) 171 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:16,454 So, Marge, pretty sweet, eh? 172 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:19,499 Oh, I forgot to clean the lint basket in the dryer. 173 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,501 If someone broke into the house and did laundry, 174 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:22,668 it could start a fire. 175 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,338 (baby crying) 176 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:29,842 Oh, great-- I specifically asked not to be seated next to a baby. 177 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:35,348 Wow! We must be really flying high! 178 00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:39,018 Those people down there look all tiny and blurry, 179 00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:41,395 just like the inside of a cataract. 180 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,314 Attention, passengers. 181 00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,942 Due to our policy of overselling flights, 182 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,027 this flight has been oversold. 183 00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,279 In accordance with F.A.A. rules, 184 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,323 the first two people to the front 185 00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:54,367 will be upgraded to first class. 186 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:57,703 (all yelling) 187 00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,956 Okay, you two. 188 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:02,083 Come on, Bart. They're going to pamper us. 189 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:03,292 (gasps) 190 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,294 Not literally, of course. 191 00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:16,180 I come for the service, but I stay for the leg room. 192 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,978 MAN (over P.A.): Flight crew, prepare for takeoff. 193 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,145 (panting) 194 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:29,193 I think I'll go get a picture of the plane taking off. 195 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,236 Marge, what's wrong? 196 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:32,572 Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? 197 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:35,575 Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it? 198 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,077 Homer, I've never told you this before, 199 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,162 but I'm not a good flyer. 200 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,291 (raspy panting) 201 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,418 I have to get off the plane. 202 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,545 Let me off the plane. 203 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:50,798 I'm asking you nicely to open the doors. 204 00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:53,551 Take it easy, Marge. How about if we dope you up real good? 205 00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,511 Let me off! Let me off! 206 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,388 Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! 207 00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:59,890 Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! 208 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,146 It's okay, Marge. 209 00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,064 We don't need to go on a trip. 210 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:10,026 We'll just wait for the killer bees to come to us. 211 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:20,077 You know, I have this feeling that we forgot something. 212 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:25,750 Ahh! 213 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,293 I'm sure it's nothing. 214 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,128 Mom, are you feeling any better? 215 00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:31,339 Yes, but I'd rather not talk about it. 216 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,758 Permit me to solve the mystery. 217 00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:35,885 Your mother has a fear of flying. 218 00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:39,096 So much for the days when I could say 'at least my mother's normal.' 219 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,140 Well, everybody's got a fear of something. 220 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,850 Not everybody. 221 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,226 Sock puppets. 222 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,270 Where? Where? (screams) 223 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,356 Mom, are you sure you don't want to discuss it? 224 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,483 Sure as sugar. 225 00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:51,567 (forced laugh) 226 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:57,073 Lisa, the important thing is for your mother 227 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,283 to repress what happened. 228 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,494 Push it deep down inside her 229 00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:04,455 so she'll never annoy us again. 230 00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:06,540 But if we don't encourage her to vent her feelings, 231 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,334 they can come out in other ways. 232 00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:11,796 I just realized we never had a wedding for the cat and the dog. 233 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,214 They've been living in sin. 234 00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:14,173 (both whine) 235 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,227 Mom, you've been cooking all night? 236 00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:30,147 Judge, jury and executioner all rolled into one you are. 237 00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,900 See, Dad? I told you Mom would have problems. 238 00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:35,027 No, no, honey, it's all right. 239 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,655 Really, I'm fine. I'm all right. 240 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,240 Mother always said, "Don't complain." 241 00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:42,535 Be good. Behave. Behave. Be nice. Smile. Be polite. 242 00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:44,578 Don't make waves. 243 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,038 You heard your mother's ramblings. 244 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,582 She's fine, so behave. 245 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,626 (hammering) 246 00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,382 Marge, it's 3:00 A.M. 247 00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:58,008 Shouldn't you be baking? 248 00:11:58,092 --> 00:11:59,468 In a little while. 249 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,721 (groaning) 250 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:03,431 Mom, can we talk to you? 251 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:04,557 Can't talk. Keeping myself 252 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,475 in a state of cat-like readiness. 253 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,895 Uh... neat. 254 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,481 Anyway Mom, maybe you should go into therapy. 255 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,024 No, I don't need therapy. 256 00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:15,943 I'm fine, and it's too expensive. 257 00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,361 And I don't believe in it. 258 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:18,779 It breaks up families. 259 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,489 It turns wives against husbands, 260 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,032 children against fathers, 261 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,951 neighbors against me. 262 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:26,454 You don't have to pay some fancy psychiatrist 263 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:29,540 ten bucks an hour to get top-notch therapy. 264 00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:31,584 Hello, Radio Psychic. 265 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:34,044 You will die a terrible, terrible death. 266 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:37,631 -(gasps) -Ooh, I'm sorry. That was our last caller. 267 00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:39,550 Okay, I'm getting something now. 268 00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:43,846 Huh... okay. You will die a terrible, terrible death. 269 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,347 -But I-- -Thank you for calling Radio Psychic. 270 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,349 Do you have a song request? 271 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,350 "It's Raining Men." 272 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:53,522 Now Marge, "Dear Abby" says seeing films about air travel 273 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,149 can calm your fears. 274 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:57,526 Ooh, here are some upbeat titles. 275 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:05,868 MAN 1: No thanks to the plane, many of us are still... 276 00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,787 GROUP: Alive. 277 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,747 MAN 2: We certainly are. 278 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,540 (chomping and slurping) 279 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,584 MAN 3: Pass me another hunk of co-pilot. 280 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,544 Dad, Mom's getting worse. 281 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,004 You have to take her to see a real psychiatrist. 282 00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:19,131 Look how tense she is. 283 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,841 She's fine. 284 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,468 Oh. 285 00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:29,642 Alright Lisa, you got your way. 286 00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:31,977 Your mom's going to a psychiatrist. 287 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,687 She's going to tell Marge to leave me. 288 00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,314 It'll break up the family 289 00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:36,565 and you'll have to live with your grandmother 290 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,817 and pick beans. 291 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,819 Dad, I like picking beans with Grandma. 292 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:41,695 Well, keep it up then. 293 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:42,822 Okay, I will. 294 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,198 Good. You do that. 295 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:45,616 Fine. 296 00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:47,117 You'll be picking many a bean. 297 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,536 Hope I do. 298 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:51,831 I don't believe it. 299 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,707 Principal Skinner! 300 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,709 Well, well, well. 301 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,045 I never thought I'd win this easy. 302 00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:00,214 Ha, this has nothing to do with you, Simpson. 303 00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:04,510 I have many, many issues with my beloved smother... mother. 304 00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:06,887 Bart, leave that man alone with his pain and sit down. 305 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,556 Okay. 306 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:09,849 (laughing) 307 00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,226 (blubbering) 308 00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:14,270 All right, how much do you charge? 309 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,856 If money's a problem, I charge on a sliding scale. 310 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:19,233 I can go as low as $30 an hour. 311 00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:20,317 Keep sliding. 312 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,236 $30 will be fine. 313 00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:23,946 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 314 00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:26,073 First, what are your qualifications? 315 00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:27,199 Well... 316 00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:30,286 Oh, no. 317 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,954 I'm not here to take a reading test. 318 00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,164 I want to see some credentials. 319 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,000 I'm sorry, Doctor. 320 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:38,085 He's just afraid you'll blame all my problems on him. 321 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:40,087 I'm not here to blame anyone. 322 00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:45,050 -Marge, therapy can be an intense process. -Uh-huh. 323 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,136 We're going to delve deeply into your subconscious 324 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:50,306 and we're not going to stop until we've exposed 325 00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:53,100 the root of your fear of flying. 326 00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:54,602 Hmm... 327 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:57,521 Don't worry. This is a private sanctuary 328 00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:01,567 where whatever transpires will be just between us. 329 00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,068 Whuh? 330 00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,278 Oh, that's just Murray, the window washer. 331 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,821 He comes every day at 12:00. 332 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,824 But it's a few seconds before 12:00. 333 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,160 -(crashing) -(Homer yelling, falling) 334 00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:18,626 Ever since you started therapy, 335 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,628 all you can do is talk about yourself. 336 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,504 Well, what about me, Marge? 337 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,423 I just left my first session, and I haven't even opened 338 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:25,883 my mouth yet. 339 00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:27,384 You see? You see? 340 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,929 "I just left my first session 341 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:33,307 and I haven't opened my mouth yet." 342 00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:36,852 Marge, there's no simple explanation for your fear of flying, 343 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:40,105 but it can probably be traced to some childhood trauma. 344 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:41,523 Think back. 345 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,776 What's the earliest memory you have 346 00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,444 of something bad happening? 347 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,029 Hmm. 348 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,782 That would have to be my first day of school. 349 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:54,828 They got this thing called a fire drill. 350 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:57,206 They use it to drill a flaming hole 351 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,582 in your head. 352 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,334 (groaning) 353 00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:02,169 And there's only one big toilet, 354 00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:06,006 and they make you all go at the same time. 355 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,300 -(laughing) -(groaning) 356 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,552 MARGE: The kids at school were even worse. 357 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,144 Ew! You like The Monkees? 358 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,313 You know they don't write their own songs. 359 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,898 They do so. 360 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,441 They don't even play their own instruments. 361 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,527 No! No! 362 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,904 That's not even Michael Nesmith's real hat. 363 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,073 (screaming) 364 00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:32,658 Kids can be so cruel. 365 00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,910 But it's true. They didn't write their own songs 366 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,745 or play their own instruments. 367 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,998 The Monkees weren't about music, Marge. 368 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:42,543 They were about rebellion, about political and social upheaval! 369 00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,795 Mmm. 370 00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:47,381 Did you talk about me in therapy today? 371 00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:48,424 I don't think so. 372 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,134 Tell me the truth! 373 00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,386 Don't tell her I raised my voice! Don't. 374 00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:53,929 (mad laughter) 375 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,723 Happy family, happy family. 376 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:58,851 I keep having the same dream. 377 00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:03,272 I am the mother from "Lost in Space". 378 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,024 Ready for breakfast, Dr. Smith? 379 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,776 Oh, being stuck on this Godforsaken planet 380 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,863 has vanquished what little appetite I have. 381 00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:13,991 (chomping) 382 00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:15,617 Warning! Warning! 383 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:19,329 Dr. Smith refuses to do his astro chores. 384 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:22,583 Why, you clattering clank of cogs and... 385 00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,793 My dear lady, as you well know, my back is a disaster area. 386 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,254 D'oh, the pain. D'oh, the pain of it all! 387 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:29,548 Danger! Danger! 388 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:32,009 My hooks are flailing wildly! 389 00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:33,552 (rockets firing) 390 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,013 Wait! 391 00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,015 Daddy, wait, please! 392 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:41,769 Don't leave! Take me with you! 393 00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:44,396 Marge, are you aware you just said 394 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,648 "Please don't leave" to your Daddy? 395 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:47,691 No, I didn't. 396 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,318 Yes, you did. 397 00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:50,986 And you also infringed on any number of copyrights. 398 00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:55,032 Now, let's talk about your father. 399 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:58,327 Sure, okay. I'll talk about Father-- Father Christmas. 400 00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,370 That's what they call Santa Claus in England. 401 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,081 They drive on the wrong side of the road there. 402 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:04,041 Now that's crazy. 403 00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,376 People are always saying how small England is, 404 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:09,254 but you couldn't fit it all in here. Not by a long shot. 405 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:11,465 You know what? I'm cured. 406 00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:14,676 Marge, get back here and tell me about your father. 407 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,386 What did he do for a living? 408 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,555 Mmm. Okay. 409 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,391 Okay, but you're going to make a big deal out of this. 410 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,185 He was a pilot. 411 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,853 A pilot?! 412 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,271 This is a big deal. 413 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,732 MARGE: You see? 414 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,193 Marge, this may not be the best time to bring this up, 415 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,320 but your last check bounced. 416 00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,280 Wait. I'm remembering something. 417 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,199 Yes, Marge, there's still the matter of... 418 00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:38,867 I was a little girl. 419 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:44,248 Mmm. Good-bye, Margie. 420 00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:46,667 Be a good girl now. 421 00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:49,044 Why does Daddy have to leave? 422 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,337 Because he's a pilot. 423 00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:53,132 He flies all over the world. 424 00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,342 I want to see Daddy fly. 425 00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:57,261 Margie! No, come back! 426 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,016 Daddy? Daddy, where are you, Da..? 427 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,893 So who wants a pre-flight cookie? 428 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,687 Fig Newtons? Hydrox? 429 00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,063 Daddy? 430 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,648 Aah! 431 00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:15,779 Don't look at me! Don't look at me! 432 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:17,948 (crying) 433 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,411 My father was a stewardess. 434 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:26,039 Marge, there's nothing to be ashamed of here. 435 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,541 Today, male flight attendants, 436 00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:30,752 or stewards, are common. 437 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:31,753 They are? 438 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,046 Yes. 439 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,674 Thanks to trailblazers like your father. 440 00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:37,467 You might say he was a pioneer. 441 00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:41,638 Yeah. You might even say he was an American hero. 442 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,515 Let's not go nuts. 443 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:44,933 The important thing 444 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,228 is that we've pinpointed the precise moment 445 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,981 when you developed your fear of flying. 446 00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:53,609 Wait. Some other stuff's coming back to me. 447 00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,196 Open wide. 448 00:19:57,279 --> 00:20:00,115 Here comes the airplane. 449 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,284 (imitating engine) 450 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:03,285 (screaming) 451 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,707 (screaming) 452 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:14,213 This is what a cornfield looks like, honey. 453 00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:15,672 Hmm. 454 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,384 (screaming) 455 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,887 You think those things could also have contributed 456 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,305 to my fear of flying? 457 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,057 Yes, yes, it's all a rich tapestry. 458 00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:28,060 Oh, well, thank you, Doctor. You've changed my life. 459 00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:30,687 You know Marge, we've really just begun to scratch the surface. 460 00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:33,941 There's still the far more serious problem of your husband. 461 00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:36,318 That's okay, you don't have to make her into some kind of superwoman. 462 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:38,237 She can get on the plane. That's plenty. 463 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,821 Thank you, Doctor. 464 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,074 Whenever the wind whistles through the leaves, 465 00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:46,453 I'll think Lowenstein, Lowenstein. 466 00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:47,788 My name is Zweig. 467 00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,456 (whispering) Lowenstein... 468 00:20:57,506 --> 00:21:00,092 Don't worry about a thing, honey. 469 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,344 I'm going to help you through this. 470 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:05,138 (engine whirring) 471 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,807 Those are all normal noises. 472 00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:07,849 (clunk) 473 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,768 Luggage compartment closing.. 474 00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:11,270 cross-checking. 475 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,772 Just sit back and relax. 476 00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:20,570 HOMER: That's just the engine powering up. 477 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:24,241 That's just the engine struggling. 478 00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:30,455 That's just a carp swimming around your ankles. 479 00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:32,040 (Marge groans) 480 00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,883 ♪♪ 481 00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:26,803 Shh! 482 00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:32,267 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.