1 00:00:03,211 --> 00:00:05,463 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:11,094 (bell ringing) 3 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,095 (tires screeching) 4 00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:16,057 D'oh! 5 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:18,018 -Aah! -(tires screech) 6 00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:34,826 And now, to top off 7 00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:37,704 our most propane explosion-free science week ever, 8 00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:41,291 our grand finale: the launching of a weather balloon. 9 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:42,834 (cheering) 10 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:45,962 Go, weather balloon! Hurrah for science! Whoo! 11 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,339 Hurrah for science? Whoo? 12 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:50,258 Well, I can't say I approve of the whoo, 13 00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:52,677 but the hurrah was quite heartening. 14 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:53,720 Release the balloon. 15 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:57,265 (cheering) 16 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:05,190 (kids laughing) 17 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,698 No! 18 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,993 (grunting) 19 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,953 I don't think I really captured the eyes. 20 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,872 Bart, if you have a failing, 21 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:22,999 it's that you're always demanding perfection. 22 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,876 If you have a failing. 23 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,252 Whoever brings down that balloon 24 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:27,796 doesn't have to learn fractions! 25 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,756 (cheering) 26 00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:30,965 (kids grunting) 27 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,842 (rocks thudding) 28 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,928 Eh, careful, children. That's my car. 29 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:39,224 -(Jimbo laughs) -NERLSON: Ha ha! 30 00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:40,809 Destroy that balloon. 31 00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:41,810 Aye. 32 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,064 Tango 14, we're being fired at. 33 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:48,274 I'm getting an exact I.D. on the bogey now. 34 00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:52,278 Iraqis again. 35 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:53,738 Launching sidewinder missile. 36 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,451 Missed him. 37 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,703 Launching second sidewinder missile. 38 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,085 This is what happens 39 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,461 when you cut money out of the military 40 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:09,462 and put it into health care! 41 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:10,964 It's a good program! 42 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:13,174 Just give it a chance. That's all I ask! 43 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:16,302 (both yelling) 44 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:19,639 -(grunting) -(blows landing) 45 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,891 Hmm, it won't come down for months. 46 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,309 Curse the man who invented helium. 47 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:26,688 Curse Pierre-Jules-Cesar Janssen. 48 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,857 Now to find out who did this. 49 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,817 Bart, empty your pockets. 50 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,527 Empty my pockets, you say? 51 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,654 Well, certainly, but I fail 52 00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:36,573 -to see how-- -Hmm. 53 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,616 Blueprints of the dummy, 54 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,994 notarized photos of you making the dummy, 55 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:44,747 and an alternate wording for the banner-- Buttzilla. 56 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,583 Race you to Utah, Milhouse. 57 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:47,584 Okay. 58 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,210 (grunting) 59 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,129 I am going to punish you for this, Bart. 60 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,590 And it won't just be a simple caning this time. 61 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:56,050 Because you have impeded science, 62 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,803 you must now aid science. 63 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:02,015 Yes. Starting tomorrow, you will assist me 64 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:04,684 with my amateur astronomy, taking down coordinates, 65 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,311 carrying equipment, and so forth. 66 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,770 4:30 in the morning. 67 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,355 There's a 4:30 in the morning now? 68 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,736 MAN (on radio): Top of the hour, time for the morning news. 69 00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,863 But of course, there is no news yet. 70 00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:19,824 Everyone's still asleep in their comfy, comfy beds. 71 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,075 Good night, everybody. 72 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:22,327 (groaning) 73 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:28,750 Mom, will you make me breakfast? 74 00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:32,837 There's a stuffed pepper in the trash from last night. 75 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,756 Just rinse it good. 76 00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:35,840 KID (on TV): Come home, Lassie! 77 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:36,841 Here, boy! 78 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:37,884 Come on, girl! 79 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,721 Attaboy! 80 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:53,316 It's still dark. 81 00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:54,484 Better use the generator. 82 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,446 (grunting) 83 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,584 Ah, there's nothing more exciting than science. 84 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,544 You get all the fun of sitting still, 85 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:15,713 being quiet, writing down numbers, 86 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,090 paying attention. 87 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,967 Science has it all. 88 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:20,885 Is that the telescope we're gonna be looking through? 89 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,887 Yes, but you won't be looking through it. 90 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,722 (chuckles) I forbid it. 91 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:27,642 But you don't need a telescope to enjoy astronomy, Bart. 92 00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:30,353 There are all the constellations you've heard so much about. 93 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:34,148 There's Orion, the Swan, the Chariot Race. 94 00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,942 Why don't they look anything like their names? 95 00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:38,027 Well, you do have to use your imagination. 96 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,989 Look, there's the three wise men. 97 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,573 Who names these things, anyway? 98 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,075 Whoever discovers them. 99 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:45,618 I've been hoping I could find something 100 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,036 that would be named after me. 101 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,122 And you've never found anything? 102 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,833 Once, but by the time I got to a phone 103 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,418 my discovery had already been reported 104 00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:56,546 by Principal Kahoutek. 105 00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,673 I got back at him, though. 106 00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:01,009 Him and that little boy of his. 107 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,385 Anyway, that's why I always keep 108 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,137 a cellular phone next to me. 109 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,930 Now, this morning, we're gonna be mapping 110 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,724 a small square of sky that's thought to be empty. 111 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,267 It's my hope that it's not. 112 00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,644 So, what am I supposed to do exactly? 113 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,147 Just write down my findings as I give them to you. 114 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,441 Six hours, 19 minutes right ascension 115 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:19,986 14 degrees, 22 minutes declination... 116 00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:22,238 -No sighting. -Mm-hmm. 117 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,490 Six hours, 19 minutes, right ascension, 118 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:28,494 14 degrees, 23 minutes declination... 119 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:29,579 No sighting. 120 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:30,997 Mm-hmm. 121 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,249 Six hours, 19 minutes right ascension, 122 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,210 14 degrees, 58 minutes declination... 123 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,964 No sighting. Did you get that one, Bart? 124 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,175 -Hell, no. -Good. (gasps) 125 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:44,052 My stars! Give me the phone quick! 126 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:51,184 Check out 6-19-14-59. 127 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,817 No. No, there's no need for that. 128 00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,528 It's already named after me. 129 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,238 It's getting pretty close to the ground. 130 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,865 Maybe I can catch it. 131 00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:07,533 Don't touch the telescope, Bart. 132 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,327 Even a slight change in elevation 133 00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:10,995 can destroy a whole morning's work. 134 00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:19,212 Whoo! All hands on deck! 135 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:21,172 Pirates off the port bow! 136 00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:22,215 Hey. 137 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:29,347 (beeping) 138 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,891 Observatory? This is Bart Simpson. 139 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:34,852 I see something in the sky at 4-12-8 140 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,646 and the last number is seven. 141 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,110 (grunting) 142 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:45,029 Ah, got you, my rumpy doppelganger. 143 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:49,242 I've got it. Hey-- 144 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,160 What are you doing? Give me that phone. 145 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,121 WOMAN: Congratulations, Bart. 146 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,872 You've just discovered a comet. 147 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:57,834 No! 148 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:02,088 No! 149 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:08,261 No! 150 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:15,309 (eating loudly) 151 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,727 And then I sped away 152 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:19,021 without anyone seeing my license plate. 153 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,731 Sounds like you had a good day today, Dad. 154 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,776 Yeah, except I forgot to go to work. 155 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,320 What did you do today, Bart? 156 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,865 What didn't I do? 157 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,825 "Boy discovers comet." 158 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:31,909 What? 159 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,202 "A young Springfieldianite 160 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,620 "has discovered a new comet 161 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,247 to be known as the Bart Simpson comet." 162 00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:39,250 Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you. 163 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:42,128 But then, you've always been proud of me. 164 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:44,213 Yes. 165 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,637 Won't you join us, Bart? 166 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,893 BART: Uh... 167 00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:57,894 I guess so. 168 00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,479 As the first student 169 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:02,231 at Springfield Elementary to discover a comet, 170 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,941 we're very proud to make you a member 171 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,320 of our very select group. 172 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:10,448 -Welcome to Super Friends. -Huh? 173 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:13,075 ALL: Welcome, super friend. 174 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,829 I am called Ham, since I enjoy ham radio. 175 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,289 This is E-mail, 176 00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:19,665 Cosine, 177 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,042 Report Card, 178 00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,293 Database, 179 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:23,628 and Lisa. 180 00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:26,464 Your nickname will be Cosmos. 181 00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:28,925 (gulps) 182 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,176 Well, I'm done eating. Good-bye. 183 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:31,636 ALL: Good-bye, Cosmos. 184 00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:33,221 Bye-bye. 185 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,640 Perhaps some night you could show us your comet. 186 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,183 There it is right there. 187 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,935 I make it a point never to turn my head 188 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,187 unless I expect to see something, Bart. 189 00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,606 Naturally, we can't see your comet in broad daylight, 190 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,900 and without a telescope. 191 00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,818 But you don't need a stupid telescope. 192 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,487 It's right there. 193 00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:50,821 (all gasping) 194 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:51,948 Oh, no, no, no. 195 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,741 This isn't right at all. 196 00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:57,411 It must be coming toward us at a fantastic speed. 197 00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:00,122 -Huh? -Don't you realize what's happening, Bart? 198 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,791 Your comet is gonna collide with the earth, 199 00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,584 and every living thing in its path will be killed. 200 00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:04,919 I knew you'd try to find something wrong 201 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,504 with my comet, Lisa. 202 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,548 You've always been petty and small, 203 00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:09,757 right from the beginning. 204 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,926 We must alert the proper authorities. 205 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,262 To the observatory! 206 00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:20,643 ALL: We are the Super Friends! 207 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:22,311 Hey, shut up. 208 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:28,693 Dear God! 209 00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:30,611 Warren, we've talked about you 210 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,196 hogging the eyepiece. 211 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,949 (air raid siren sounding) 212 00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,993 (all gasping) 213 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,704 Sounds like the doomsday whistle. 214 00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:43,499 Ain't been blown for nigh on to three years. 215 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,544 Tsk, tsk, tsk. Trouble a-brewing. 216 00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:48,546 -(gavel pounding) -Fellow citizens, 217 00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,590 when I learned about the impending crisis, 218 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:54,385 I caught the very next plane to Springfeld... Field. 219 00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:59,890 First of all, yes, there is a comet in the sky, 220 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,268 and, yes, it is going to hit Springfield. 221 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,314 You, uh, don't need to applaud that. 222 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:09,108 Now, here's what we think the impact might look like. 223 00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:10,359 Show them, Jerry. 224 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,826 Oh, dear God, no! 225 00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:21,621 (gasping) 226 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,164 Fortunately, we have a plan. 227 00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:25,958 -Professor Frink. -Good evening, ladies and... 228 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,586 Quit stalling! What's the plan? 229 00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,713 All right, just take your seat. Just take your seat. 230 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:33,966 Now, working with former Carter administration officials 231 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,093 and military men who were forced into early retirement 232 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:40,222 for various reasons which we won't go into here, 233 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,099 we have planned this defense for the city. 234 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:45,061 As the comet hurtles toward the city 235 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:49,649 our rocket will intercept it and blow it to smithereens. Hey! 236 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,193 Oh, dear God, no! 237 00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:54,987 And that will be the end of our Mr. Comet. 238 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,031 -(cheering) -Yay! We're saved! 239 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,411 (people laughing) 240 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,537 (taunting laughter) 241 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,378 Will you all stop worrying about that stupid comet? 242 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,254 It's going to be destroyed. 243 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,964 Didn't you hear what the guy in the building said? 244 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:16,550 -But Dad, don't you think-- -Ah, Lisa. 245 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,636 The whole reason we have elected officials 246 00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:21,138 is so we don't have to think all the time. 247 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:24,642 Just like that rain forest scare a few years back. 248 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,435 Our officials saw there was a problem 249 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,020 and they fixed it, didn't they? 250 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,230 No, Dad, I don't think... 251 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,940 There's that word again. 252 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,840 Homer, what if this doesn't work? 253 00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:57,550 Well, then, I have a backup plan. 254 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,009 See, while the unprepared 255 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:01,887 are still sitting around twiddling their thumbs 256 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:02,888 and going... 257 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:08,602 (humming) 258 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,647 Dad, the plan! 259 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,940 I'm getting to that. 260 00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:14,191 So, anyway, they're going... 261 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:16,527 (humming) 262 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,409 -Dad! -So, anyway, we get in our car 263 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,994 and take the bridge out of town, 264 00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,121 while all the while, they're still going... 265 00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:31,333 (humming) 266 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,836 Dad, they're firing the rocket! 267 00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,130 Uh! 268 00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:37,840 All right! 269 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:38,966 (people cheering) 270 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,480 (all gasping) 271 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:53,773 It blew up the bridge! 272 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:54,982 We're doomed! 273 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:56,525 It's times like this 274 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,611 I wish I were a religious man. 275 00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:00,946 It's all over, people! 276 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,823 We don't have a prayer! 277 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:03,908 (wailing) 278 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,546 KENT BROCKMAN: And like Icarus, 279 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,715 the rocket foolishly soared 280 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,551 too high and lost control of its servo-guidance mechanism 281 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:26,430 leaving us with some... six hours to live. 282 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:28,766 So, let's go live now 283 00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:31,852 to the charred remains of the only bridge out of town 284 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,104 with Arnie Pie and Arnie in the Sky. 285 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:36,732 ARNIE: With the bridge gone and the airport 286 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,400 unfortunately on the other side of the bridge, 287 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,152 a number of citizens are attempting 288 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,946 to jump the gorge with their cars. 289 00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:44,657 It's a silent testament to the "Never give up 290 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:48,118 and never think things out" spirit of our citizens. 291 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:49,870 With our utter annihilation imminent, 292 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,705 our federal government has snapped into action. 293 00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:53,541 We go live now, via satellite, 294 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,459 to the floor of the United States congress. 295 00:13:57,711 --> 00:14:01,882 Then it is unanimous, we are going to approve the bill 296 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,093 to evacuate the town of Springfield 297 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:06,554 in the great state of... 298 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,889 Wait a second, I want to tack on a rider to that bill. 299 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:12,309 $30 million of taxpayer money to support the perverted arts. 300 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:16,605 All in favor of the amended Springfield/pervert bill? 301 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,566 (loud boos) 302 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:20,192 Bill defeated. 303 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,319 I've said it before, and I'll say it again: 304 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:25,114 Democracy simply doesn't work. 305 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:26,574 Now, over the years, 306 00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,284 a newsman learns a number of things 307 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:31,829 that for one reason or another, he just cannot report. 308 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,080 It doesn't seem to matter now, 309 00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:35,749 so the following people are gay: 310 00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,419 Turn it off. 311 00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:39,837 Just a second. 312 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,218 What's everyone so worked up about? 313 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,679 So there's a comet. Big deal. 314 00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:51,015 It'll burn up in our atmosphere, and what's ever left 315 00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:52,892 will be no bigger than a Chihuahua's head. 316 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,852 Wow, Dad, maybe you're right. 317 00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:56,437 Of course I'm right. 318 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,771 If I'm not, may we all be 319 00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,565 horribly crushed from above somehow. 320 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,984 (all groaning) 321 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,111 Okay, if you're that worried about it, 322 00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:06,655 let's go down to the bomb shelter. 323 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,240 We have a bomb shelter? 324 00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,993 Homer Simpson takes care of his family. 325 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,497 Flanders, open up! 326 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,499 Hi-dee-ho-a-rooney, neighbor. 327 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,501 -What can I do you for? -Get out of there. 328 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:22,379 -My family needs to use your bomb shelter. -Homer! 329 00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,298 Oh, I kind of figured this might happen, 330 00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,884 so I built the shelter big enough for both our families. 331 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:27,885 No deal. Out. 332 00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,178 Get in the shelter, Homer. 333 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,914 One more hour. 334 00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,248 An hour? 335 00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,167 I can't wait another hour. 336 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,710 What's keeping that stupid comet? 337 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,004 -(knock on door) -There it is. 338 00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:10,427 FLANDERS: Well, howdely-doodely, neighbors. 339 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:13,097 Shouldn't you be in your shelterinis by now? 340 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:15,140 We haven't got shelterinis. 341 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,558 We want in yours. 342 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,227 Oh, well, sorry. 343 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,520 The shelter's kind of full. 344 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:21,563 Really? Oh. 345 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,357 Well, we'll just go off someplace and die then. 346 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:24,525 Thanks. 347 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:28,946 Wait! 348 00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:30,739 You know, I may regret this when our air runs out 349 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,283 and we can't whistle or stay alive, but... 350 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,702 Oh, what the hey. 351 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:37,037 (all cheer) 352 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:41,917 I can't... get the... 353 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,085 (groaning) 354 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:44,962 I can't get the door closed. 355 00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,880 Somebody's going to have to get out. 356 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:49,550 LISA: I'd get out, but I don't know where I am. 357 00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:52,094 Hey, somebody's touching me. 358 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:54,013 -I am. -Oh, okay. 359 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:56,724 Okay, okay, let's figure out who should stay. 360 00:16:56,807 --> 00:17:00,769 Let's see. The world of the future will need laughter, 361 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,229 so I'm in. 362 00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,356 And they'll need somebody to dispense drinks-- 363 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,774 I.E., me. 364 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,485 And someone will have to run the power. 365 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,528 You can do that, Homer. 366 00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,572 Uh... Yeah. 367 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,240 I can do that. 368 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,328 Okay, let's start again. 369 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:20,914 We'll need laughter, religious enlightenment, 370 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:23,208 gossip-- That's Mrs. Lovejoy. 371 00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:26,211 Wait a minute, we all know the one thing we won't need in the future-- 372 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,047 left-handed stores. 373 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,465 That's you, Flanders. 374 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:32,634 (whispering) I'm terribly sorry. 375 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,262 (aloud) Flanders is the only useless person here. 376 00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,806 If anyone dies, it should be him. 377 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,183 (whispering) I'm sorry. 378 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,851 Please forgive me. 379 00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:42,394 (aloud) So let's kick Flanders out. 380 00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:43,353 (whispering) Sorry. 381 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,274 Well, sir, sounds fair. 382 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:48,692 Toodle-oo, everybody. 383 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,319 I'll scream when the comet gets here. 384 00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:51,820 Oh, I'm coming with you, Neddy. 385 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,072 No, sweetheart. 386 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:56,241 You... You stay here because... 387 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,285 Okay. 388 00:17:58,368 --> 00:17:59,745 I might go mad with fear out there, 389 00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,790 so, Todd, I want you to shoot Daddy 390 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,417 if he tries to get back in. 391 00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,252 Okay, Dad. 392 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,253 Okay. 393 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:12,633 ♪ Que sera, sera ♪ 394 00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:18,639 ♪ Whatever will be, will be ♪ 395 00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:23,185 ♪ The future's not ours to see... ♪ 396 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,689 Hey, I got an idea. 397 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,109 We can play a game to pass the time. 398 00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,653 I'll make the sound of a barnyard animal, 399 00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:35,197 and you all try to guess what it is. 400 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,949 (clearing throat) 401 00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:40,536 (guttural braying) 402 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,454 -It's a pig. -It's a cow, man. 403 00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,414 -It's a pony. -No, it's a goat. 404 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,125 You know, one of them lady goats. 405 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,919 There are no lady goats. A lady goat is a sheep. 406 00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:51,088 -I believe she's right. -You're crazy. 407 00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:53,090 -Arr! What's it to you? -What's it to me? 408 00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:56,468 -It's a pony. -(all arguing) 409 00:18:57,594 --> 00:18:59,138 Stop it! Stop it! 410 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,682 Can't you see this barnyard noise guessing game 411 00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:03,809 is tearing us apart? 412 00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:07,104 FLANDERS: ♪ Que sera, sera ♪ 413 00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:10,816 ♪ Whatever will be, will be ...♪ 414 00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:13,777 Say, Moe, was it a duck? 415 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:16,280 (all arguing) 416 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,868 No, no! Shut up! Shut up! 417 00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:22,828 Stop it, stop it! 418 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,663 I can't take this anymore. 419 00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:28,000 I can't let that brave man out there die alone. 420 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:31,003 I'm surprised and disgusted by all of you. 421 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,380 Especially his children. 422 00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:34,798 I'm going out there. 423 00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:36,383 (door slams) 424 00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,093 And it was a baby ox. 425 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,386 He's right, you know. 426 00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:40,387 SKINNER: About the ox? 427 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:41,972 About everything, damn it! 428 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:43,015 Hey, Homer, wait up. 429 00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,434 I want to die too. 430 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,436 -If you are going, I am going. -Me too. 431 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,688 -(all agreeing) -OTTO: I'm outta here. Make way. 432 00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,773 (indistinct chatter) 433 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,317 OTTO: Radio reception in there sucked. 434 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:58,572 ♪ When I was just a little girl ♪ 435 00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:01,491 ♪ I asked my mother ♪ 436 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:04,995 ♪ What will I be? ♪ 437 00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:10,626 ♪ Will I be pretty, will I be rich? ♪ 438 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:15,547 ♪ Here's what she said to me ♪ 439 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:19,968 ALL: ♪ Que sera, sera ♪ 440 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,638 ♪ Whatever will be ♪ 441 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,307 ♪ Will be ♪ 442 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:30,437 ♪ The future's not ours to see ♪ 443 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,397 ♪ Que sera... ♪ 444 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:33,815 Run! 445 00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,491 -Look! -It's breaking up! 446 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,543 (gasps) 447 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,589 Cool. 448 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:58,924 We're saved. 449 00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:01,009 (all cheering) 450 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,761 Sure makes you appreciate 451 00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:04,680 the preciousness of life. 452 00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:08,475 Let's go burn down the observatory 453 00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:10,185 so this'll never happen again. 454 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,813 (all agreeing) 455 00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:15,399 I can't believe that extra-thick layer of pollution 456 00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:17,025 that I've actually picketed against 457 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,986 is what burned up the comet. 458 00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,821 What's really amazing 459 00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:24,574 is that this is exactly what Dad said would happen. 460 00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:26,785 Yeah. Dad was right. 461 00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:28,161 I know, kids. 462 00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:29,871 I'm scared too. 463 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,873 (all shuddering) 464 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:42,509 ♪♪ 465 00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:27,262 Shh. 466 00:22:30,265 --> 00:22:33,435 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.