1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,131 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:10,760 (bell ringing) 3 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:15,515 D'oh! 4 00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,641 Ahh! 5 00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:44,919 Zounds! I did thee mightily smitely. 6 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,757 "Zounds" is a Renaissance English word 7 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,675 short for "God's wounds." 8 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,886 But "Smitely," that's pure Flanders. 9 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,597 Please call a doctor. 10 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,100 Oh, these Renaissance Faires are so boring. 11 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,268 Oh, really? 12 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,020 Did you see the loom? 13 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,190 I took loom in high school. 14 00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:06,441 (humming) 15 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:13,531 Meh. 16 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,205 Yon meat 'tis sweet as summer's wafting breeze. 17 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:21,539 Can I have some? 18 00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:22,832 Mine ears are open only to the pleas 19 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,251 of those who speak ye olde English. 20 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,628 Sweet maiden of the spit 21 00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:28,755 grant now my boon, that I might sup 22 00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:30,673 upon suckling pig this noon. 23 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,175 Whatever. 24 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:35,095 Oh, I've eaten eight different meats. 25 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:36,596 I'm a true Renaissance man. 26 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,724 I'll go to the first aid tent 27 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:42,185 and tell them to plug in ye olde stomach pump. 28 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:46,147 Alight your gaze 29 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:49,818 on yonder fabled beasts of yore. 30 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,448 Behold the rarest of the rare, 31 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,118 the mythological two-headed hound 32 00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,161 born with only one head. 33 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,371 Ooh. And here 34 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:02,956 out of the mists of history, 35 00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:05,125 the legendary esquilax-- 36 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:06,376 A horse with the head of a rabbit 37 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:11,047 and the body of a rabbit. 38 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,466 Oh, it's galloping away. 39 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,468 Here, bunny, bunny. Here, bunny. 40 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,469 Here, esquilax. 41 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,138 (giggling) 42 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:25,353 (gasps) 43 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,651 I've been waiting for you, Lisa. 44 00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:33,570 (gasps) How did you know my name?! 45 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:34,571 Your name tag. 46 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:39,159 Would you like to know your future? 47 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,035 Sorry, I don't believe in fortune telling. 48 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,495 I should go. 49 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:43,872 What's your hurry? 50 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,373 Bart, Maggie and Marge are at the joust 51 00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:48,126 and Homer is heckling the puppet show. 52 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:51,379 Wow. You can see into the... present. 53 00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:54,465 Now we'll see what the future holds. 54 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,594 The death card? 55 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,095 No, that's good. 56 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,431 It means transition, change. 57 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:02,807 Oh. 58 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,017 Oh, that's cute. 59 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,935 (gasps) The happy squirrel! 60 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:06,936 That's bad? 61 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,271 Possibly. 62 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:10,481 The cards are vague and mysterious. 63 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,025 They seem to be revealing 64 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,985 the story of your first love. 65 00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:15,820 Do you want me to continue? 66 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,031 (gulps) Guess so. 67 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:21,201 It's-- It's coming to me. 68 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:26,414 Yes, I see an eastern university in the year 2010. 69 00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:29,834 The world has become a very different place. 70 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,348 I can't wait to see that play. 71 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,278 -Hey, watch it. -Watch it. 72 00:03:58,571 --> 00:03:59,781 That man is instantly 73 00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:01,407 the most annoying person I've ever met. 74 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,742 (groans) 75 00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:04,827 A soy-based snack will calm me down. 76 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,628 (growls) 77 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,257 (yells) 78 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:18,216 Him again! 79 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,306 (panting) 80 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:29,644 Hello. I need "Ecosystem of the Marsh" by Thompson. 81 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:33,439 The last copy was just signed out by, um... 82 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,024 Hugh Parkfield. 83 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,401 Oh, there he is. 84 00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:37,443 No! 85 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,362 It couldn't be. 86 00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:40,947 Phew. 87 00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,991 Thanks for holding my book while I tied my shoe. 88 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:44,492 D'oh! 89 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:45,827 That's the book I need. 90 00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,495 You'll probably take forever with it too. 91 00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:48,621 I can read faster than you. 92 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,164 I read at a 78th grade level. 93 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,165 Right here. 94 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,214 -Finish this page? -Ages ago. 95 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,340 (growls) 96 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,467 -I'll get a dictionary. -Why? 97 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,469 You'll see when you get there. The word "stochastic." 98 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:04,721 "Pertaining to a process 99 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:05,847 "involving a randomly determined 100 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:06,931 sequence of observations." 101 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,896 Hmm. First they hate each other, 102 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,857 now, all of a sudden, they love each other. 103 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,734 It doesn't make any sense to me. 104 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,527 Of course not. You're a robot. 105 00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:22,363 (sniffling) 106 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,948 (electricity crackling) 107 00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,748 I've never met anyone who so understood 108 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:32,749 the magic of Jim Carrey. 109 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,167 He can make you laugh 110 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,627 with no more than frantic flailing of his limbs. 111 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,629 HUGH: I can't believe 112 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:39,881 how much we have in common. 113 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,841 We're both studying the environment, 114 00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:44,344 we're both utterly humorless about our vegetarianism 115 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,346 and we both love The Rolling Stones. 116 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:49,724 Yes, not for their music, but for their tireless efforts 117 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:51,351 to preserve historic buildings. 118 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,685 Lisa, I can't bear the thought 119 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:53,895 of being apart from you all summer. 120 00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:54,937 Come back with me to Parkfield Manor. 121 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,689 I'd love to. 122 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,900 Can we get vegetarian meals at your parent's house? 123 00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:00,234 Yes, we can, Lisa. 124 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,820 That is good because eating animals is wrong. 125 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:03,946 So very wrong. 126 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,531 When will the world learn? 127 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:06,657 I don't know. 128 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,326 I just don't know. 129 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,538 I love these new planes. 130 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:13,915 Yes, it's a good thing they reevaluated 131 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,458 those wacky old designs. 132 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,847 Beautiful dinnerware, Mrs. Parkfield. 133 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,557 Thank you, Lisa. They were made 134 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,309 for the finest family in Britain. 135 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,145 I don't know how we ended up with them. 136 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,272 (thinking) Uh-oh. Should I laugh? 137 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,441 Was that dry British wit, or subtle self-pity? 138 00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,443 They're staring at me. Better respond. 139 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:44,153 (laughs nervously) 140 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:48,616 Oh, it's good to hear a boisterous American laugh. 141 00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:50,118 And I love that painting. 142 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:52,662 Judging by the clothes, I'd say 17th century. 143 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,581 Actually, Lisa, it's just Uncle Eldred. 144 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:59,168 I get me brain medicines from the National Health. 145 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,923 This place is so enchanting, Hugh. 146 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:05,258 I love it here. 147 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,884 I wanted this to be perfect for you. 148 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:10,138 I know you Americans like everything to be... 149 00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:11,222 fireworks. 150 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,777 Oh, blast! 151 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,821 Go to plan B. 152 00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:28,948 (moos) 153 00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:31,409 Yes, I will. 154 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,664 Isn't it wonderful? 155 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:40,668 Master Hugh has found a true love. 156 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,514 Hi, Mom. 157 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,308 Lisa, hello. 158 00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:56,934 How are you doing in England? 159 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,853 Remember, an elevator is called a "lift," 160 00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:00,396 a mile is called a "kilometer," 161 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,607 and botulism is called "steak and kidney pie." 162 00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,901 Guess what? Hugh and I are getting married. 163 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,527 All right! 164 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:09,405 Lisa, that's wonderful. 165 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:13,159 If only your father was still with us... 166 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,703 but he left for work a few minutes ago. 167 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:16,996 Mom, remember when I was little 168 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:18,706 we'd always plan my dream wedding 169 00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:22,293 and you always promised to... you know, well... 170 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:24,587 keep Dad from ruining it? 171 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,297 Oh, don't worry, honey. 172 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,674 I guarantee your father will behave. 173 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,259 Mom, it's a picture phone. 174 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,094 Oh, this? This? 175 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,930 Oh, no, I've just got a touch of the rheumatiz. 176 00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:35,515 -Oh. -Whew. 177 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:36,557 Mom, picture phone. 178 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:41,479 Hi, Mom. That's great news about Lisa. 179 00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,189 Well, listen, I better get back to work. 180 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,276 They're finally paying me for this. 181 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:52,406 Oh, yeah! 182 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,449 (evil laughter) 183 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,669 Yes, but the international market is my focus. 184 00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:05,795 Whoo-hoo! 185 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,381 Ah, Marge, that's great news! 186 00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:11,008 Hey, hey, there with the personal calls, Simpson. 187 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:13,553 Oh, uh, but Mr. Milhouse 188 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:14,887 my little girl's getting married. 189 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,097 Lisa? 190 00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:19,100 Oh... My one true love. 191 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,019 It's not you, Milhouse. 192 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,938 I just don't plan to ever get married. 193 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:26,524 (hysterical sobbing) 194 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:32,154 I think I'll write your performance evaluation now, 195 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,197 Simpson. 196 00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,621 Oh, I got to call everyone 197 00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:41,956 and tell them the good news. 198 00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:43,124 (stammering) 199 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:45,626 Maggie! I need to use the phone! 200 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,630 Will that girl ever shut up? 201 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,549 Okay, Marge, I'll plan everything. 202 00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:53,259 We can have the reception at Moe's. 203 00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,261 Wait! Why not have the whole wedding there? 204 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:56,846 We'll do it on a Monday morning-- 205 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,222 There'll be fewer drunks. 206 00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,016 Homer, don't take this personally 207 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,475 but I've obtained a court order 208 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,977 to prevent you from planning this wedding. 209 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,854 (muttering) 210 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,063 Well, these seem to be in order. 211 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,231 I'll be out back in the hammock. 212 00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:12,945 "Mr. Smithers plus guest." 213 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,531 Huh! There's only one person I would want to bring. 214 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,454 Oh, Mr. Burns, we'll thaw you out 215 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:22,872 the second they discover the cure 216 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:25,124 for 17 stab wounds in the back. 217 00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:26,167 How we doing, boys? 218 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,501 Well, we're up to 15. 219 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,003 (all cheering) 220 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,262 Now turn to the next problem. 221 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,057 If you have three Pepsis and drink one 222 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,017 how much more refreshed are you? 223 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,769 You, the redhead in the Chicago school system? 224 00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:45,936 Pepsi? 225 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:46,937 Partial credit. 226 00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:50,650 We've been invited to the wedding 227 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,943 of our only graduate to read at an adult level. 228 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,488 It must be Lisa Simpson. Because, of course, 229 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:58,157 Martin Prince perished in that science fair explosion. 230 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,119 Not quite perished, my lady love. 231 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:05,039 Although some days, I wish I had. 232 00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:08,000 ♪♪ ("A Fifth of Beethoven") 233 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,889 Hey, I remember you. Mayor Quimby, right? 234 00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:26,227 Uh, no. Look at this license-- Mohamed Jafar. 235 00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,062 Quimby, after this fare 236 00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:29,772 get your indicted ass out to the convention center. 237 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,191 I cut the ribbon at that convention center. 238 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,445 (nervous laughter) 239 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,072 Just a couple more blocks to my house. 240 00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:39,615 (nervous laughter) 241 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,659 (hyperventilating) 242 00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:43,244 Lisa, darling, don't worry. 243 00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,204 I'm sure I'll get along with your family. 244 00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,164 You've so thoroughly prepared me for the worst. 245 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:48,666 As long as they're not squatting in a ditch 246 00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:51,085 poking berries up their noses. 247 00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:52,628 And if they are? 248 00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,507 Here they come! Raise the flag! 249 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:58,467 (Homer grunting) 250 00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,885 (electrical crackling) 251 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,137 Oh, Lisa! 252 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:02,722 Yo, Hugh! 253 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,141 Here's a little bit of U.S. hospitality. 254 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:06,851 What do you think of that? 255 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:10,813 Dad! 256 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:11,772 Aah! 257 00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:14,817 Now throw compost on it. 258 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:18,779 Phew! 259 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,322 Enjoy. 260 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,365 (sighs) 261 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,993 Still warm. 262 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,954 (hyperventilating) 263 00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:32,710 You can be the first to try out 264 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,420 the new guest bedroom I built. 265 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:36,422 Remember, if the building inspector comes by 266 00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:37,590 it's not a room, it's a window box. 267 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,677 Oh, Hugh, thank you. 268 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,638 You've been just wonderful through this entire ordeal. 269 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,098 Lisa, I love you so much 270 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,183 I'm willing to go through anything. 271 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,601 (yells) 272 00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:50,186 (grunts) 273 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,062 Are you okay? 274 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,773 I'm fine, Lisa. 275 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:54,774 Fortunately, the compost heap 276 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,400 broke my fall. 277 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,319 Be a dear, run a bath. 278 00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:01,989 (munching loudly) 279 00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:05,075 Homer, Bart, Maggie, company eating rules, huh? 280 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,119 (belches) Oh, right. 281 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,913 (nibbling lightly) 282 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,664 Anyway, Hugh, 283 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:13,501 there's more to my life than just the wrecking ball. 284 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,461 I also crush cars into cubes. 285 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:18,088 And on the side, I promote local tough man contests. 286 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,507 Basically, I'm getting out all my aggression 287 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,175 till I go to law school. 288 00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:24,094 So, Hugh, have you heard all the latest American jokes? 289 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,262 Here's a good one. 290 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,806 Pull my finger. 291 00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:29,600 Oh, yes, we have that one in England too, Mr. Simpson. 292 00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:31,519 I said, pull my finger! 293 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:34,230 Mom, we've got my wedding dress fitting this afternoon. 294 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:35,481 Maggie, if you're not doing anything, 295 00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,358 why don't you come with us? 296 00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:40,027 Maggie, don't talk with your mouth full! 297 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:42,363 Me and Bart will take Hugh out on the town this afternoon. 298 00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:44,365 Hugh should take it easy because of his fall. 299 00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:46,116 Oh, Lisa, please. The only thing bruised 300 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,409 in that fall was my spine. 301 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,953 I'll be delighted. 302 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,872 Great. There's only one thing I ask in return. 303 00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,666 -Certainly. -Pull my finger! 304 00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:56,293 So, this driving on the left 305 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,962 makes you feel more at home, huh, Hugh? 306 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:01,465 KENT BROCKMAN: And tonight, 307 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,717 the following celebrities have been arrested... 308 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,346 while Heather Locklear Fortensky 309 00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:08,848 remains at large. 310 00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,516 Remember, if you see any celebrities 311 00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:11,600 consider them dangerous. 312 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,769 You know, I rather like this pub. 313 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,063 Oh-ho! An English boy, huh? 314 00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:18,440 You know, we saved your ass in World War II. 315 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,693 Yeah, well we saved your ass in World War III. 316 00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:22,278 That's true. 317 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,113 Hugh, there's something I want you to have. 318 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,073 My dad gave me his cufflinks to wear 319 00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:27,616 on the day I married Marge 320 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,243 and they brought us good luck. 321 00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:31,328 I couldn't imagine a happier marriage. 322 00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:34,582 We don't have many traditions in our family 323 00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:35,749 but it'd mean a lot to me 324 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:39,211 if you kept this one alive. 325 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,296 Well, I'd be honored. 326 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,923 To... 327 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,092 wear those... things. 328 00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:46,093 Aw. 329 00:14:49,179 --> 00:14:50,347 Ow! 330 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,974 Hey, watch those virtual darts! 331 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,517 I'm trying to play virtual pool. 332 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,728 Ow! Why you! 333 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,773 Hey! Hey! No fighting in my bar! 334 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,942 (screaming) 335 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,946 You know, Fox turned into 336 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,490 a hard-core sex channel so gradually 337 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:09,742 I didn't even notice. 338 00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:11,327 Eesh! 339 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,912 Marge, it's so great to have the whole family 340 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,204 together under one roof. 341 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,790 I never realized how much I missed it. 342 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,043 Listen to the murmurs in the next room. 343 00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,296 The house is full of life again. 344 00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:23,297 (sighs) 345 00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,049 Keep it down in there! 346 00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,259 All right, Dad! 347 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,803 I'm sorry I left you alone with Homer and Bart. 348 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,473 No, no, honey. We had a fine time. 349 00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:34,224 How did you get that gash on your forehead? 350 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:35,726 Oh, that was when we hid in the dumpster 351 00:15:35,809 --> 00:15:37,144 after the fire alarm went off 352 00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,729 in the pornographic magazine warehouse. 353 00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:41,607 Oh... You are so good to put up with all of this. 354 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,734 Oh, don't be silly, Lisa. 355 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:46,278 Everything's fine-- Really. 356 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,030 Now go to sleep. 357 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:49,907 We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow. 358 00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:53,243 A big, long day. 359 00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,086 Lisa, I can't believe 360 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,796 it's your wedding day already. 361 00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:06,090 Mom, I feel kind of funny wearing white. 362 00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,092 I mean, Milhouse-- 363 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:09,718 Oh, Milhouse doesn't count. 364 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,679 (laughing) 365 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,350 Okay, I've got something old, 366 00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:17,726 that's my pearl necklace. 367 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,395 Something new is the wedding dress. 368 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,230 Something borrowed is this antique brooch 369 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:22,481 from Hugh's mother. 370 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:23,524 Now I just need something blue. 371 00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:26,610 Here. 372 00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:29,279 Oh, Mom, thanks. 373 00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:30,280 BOTH: Mmm... 374 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:37,746 Hi! 375 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,874 Wow, Lisa, looking at you 376 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,209 makes me want to get married 377 00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:43,752 for a third time. 378 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,295 I met a really nice exotic dancer 379 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,214 the other night at Hugh's bachelor party. 380 00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,882 Hugh didn't have a bachelor party. 381 00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:49,925 We had one in his honor. 382 00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:52,428 I had one in his honor. 383 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,473 I went to a strip club. 384 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:59,393 Well, here goes nothing. 385 00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:01,812 (sighs) 386 00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:05,274 Mom, Dad, meet... 387 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:06,316 Homer Simpson. 388 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,027 -How do you do? -How are you? 389 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,278 Nice to meet you. 390 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,908 You know what's great about you English? 391 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,368 "Octopussy." 392 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:19,747 Man, I must have seen that movie... twice. 393 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,123 Yes... 394 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:22,958 Yes! 395 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,293 Well, that's not too bad. 396 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:28,922 Hey, Krabappel. 397 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,549 You get in the way of that bouquet, 398 00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:32,217 I'll stuff that sun hat down your neck. 399 00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,179 Smithers, take me home. 400 00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:36,388 I'm not fully defrosted. 401 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:37,890 Nonsense. 402 00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:39,475 Just sit down and rest for a moment. 403 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:40,934 Here you go. 404 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,936 -(groans) -Oh, no. 405 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,897 We've got a little situation here. 406 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:47,608 I can't feel anything below my cummerbund. 407 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,193 Ooh-la-la! 408 00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:50,360 Hi, Dad. 409 00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,071 You look great, sweetheart. 410 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,197 Thanks. 411 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,908 Little Lisa, Lisa Simpson. 412 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,534 You know, I always felt you were the best thing 413 00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,161 my name ever got attached to. 414 00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,455 Since the time you learned to pin your own diapers, 415 00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:03,707 you've been smarter than me. 416 00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:06,543 -Oh, Dad. -No, no. Let me finish. 417 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,420 I just want you to know, I've always been proud of you. 418 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,255 You're my greatest accomplishment 419 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,257 and you did it all yourself. 420 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,843 You helped me understand my own wife better 421 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,637 and taught me to be a better person 422 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,639 but you're also my daughter. 423 00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:21,975 I don't think anybody could have had a better daughter than-- 424 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:24,520 -Dad, you're babbling. -See? You're still helping me. 425 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,442 Hey, Dad, did you forget to give those cufflinks to Hugh? 426 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,320 -Uh... no. -Well? 427 00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,239 I found them on the nightstand this morning. 428 00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:36,281 I guess they weren't his cup of tea. 429 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,741 Don't worry about it. 430 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,409 But you've been going on about these all week. 431 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:41,036 I'm sure he just forgot. 432 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,248 Lisa! We're not supposed to see 433 00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:45,499 each other before the wedding. 434 00:18:45,582 --> 00:18:46,834 It's tradition. 435 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:49,211 What about my family's tradition? 436 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,588 Surely, you don't want me to wear those 437 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,465 in front of my parents and their friends? 438 00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,259 But you promised my dad you would. 439 00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,136 I was just humoring him, darling. 440 00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,012 Actually, he frightens me a bit. 441 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:00,806 I know they look a little silly 442 00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:02,641 but his feelings will be hurt if you don't wear them. 443 00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:04,309 Fine. 444 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,936 I must say, you were right. 445 00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:08,021 This has been quite trying. 446 00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:10,274 You know, I've attempted to enjoy your family 447 00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,484 on a personal level, on an ironic level, 448 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:15,612 as a novelty, as camp, as kitsch, 449 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,906 as a cautionary example-- nothing works. 450 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,367 Frankly, I'll be quite relieved when we get back to England 451 00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:21,952 and we won't have to deal with them. 452 00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:24,163 Are you saying we won't see my family again? 453 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,455 Well, possibly your mother will come 454 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:26,915 when the children are born. 455 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,542 I can't believe I'm hearing this. 456 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:29,877 I don't want to cut my family out of my life. 457 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,378 Oh, really? 458 00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:33,422 But Lisa, you're better than this place-- 459 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,966 You're like a flower that grew out of a pot of dirt. 460 00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,302 That's a horrible thing to say! 461 00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:40,721 Oh, come on, you complain about them more than anyone. 462 00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:43,473 Maybe, but I still love them, 463 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:46,185 and I don't think you understand that. 464 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:54,401 And now, to sing "Amazing Grace" 465 00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:55,402 Miss Maggie Simpson. 466 00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:58,071 She's quite a hellion 467 00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,449 but she does have an incredible voice. 468 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,118 (clears throat) 469 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,620 Stop everything! 470 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:05,662 The wedding has been called off. 471 00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,748 (all gasping) 472 00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:09,666 Ha! Ha! 473 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,793 (groans) 474 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,755 Uh, this is very sad news 475 00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:16,381 and it never would've happened 476 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,343 if the wedding had been inside the church with God 477 00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:23,430 instead of out here in the cheap showiness of nature. 478 00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:24,640 Who wants cake? 479 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,058 (clamoring) 480 00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:44,785 The next day, Hugh goes back to England 481 00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:47,037 and you never see him again. 482 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,331 Wow! Now that I know all this 483 00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:51,124 isn't there any way to change the future? 484 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,835 No, but try to look surprised. 485 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,837 I thought you said you'd tell me about my true love. 486 00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,465 Oh, you'll have a true love 487 00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:00,342 but I specialize in foretelling 488 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,344 the relationships where you get jerked around. 489 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:03,845 (laughing) 490 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,318 Lisa! Lisa! Where were you? 491 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:19,820 You missed the most incredible thing! 492 00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:21,446 Hi, Dad. 493 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,824 I ate seven pounds of fudge! 494 00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:25,284 Wow! 495 00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,743 The man at the stand said it was a record. 496 00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:28,120 Wow, what else did you do, Dad? 497 00:21:28,203 --> 00:21:30,122 I rode the teacups. 498 00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:32,040 Then I got a little sick and I had to sit down. 499 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,209 But then I rode them again... 500 00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:42,259 ♪♪ 501 00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:26,887 Shh. 502 00:22:30,223 --> 00:22:32,934 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.