1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,131 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,094 (bell rings) 3 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:15,849 D'oh! 4 00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:17,684 -Ahh! -(tires screech) 5 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,201 ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show ♪ 6 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,123 (grunting) 7 00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,845 (laughing) 8 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:01,311 (laughing) 9 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:02,687 (moaning) 10 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,235 (yells) 11 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:12,030 (laughing) 12 00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:14,240 Thanks, kids. 13 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,785 Now we'd like to speak to you seriously for a moment. 14 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,536 Yup. This week is the grand opening 15 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,497 of Itchy & Scratchy Land-- 16 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,832 the violentest place on Earth. 17 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,001 And to celebrate, for this week only 18 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:29,130 we're cutting ticket prices in half. 19 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,715 Yow! 20 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,011 Kids, you heard the cartoon rat. 21 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,596 If you haven't already run to your parents 22 00:01:36,679 --> 00:01:38,181 begging to go, do it now. 23 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,308 You won't be missing anything funny. 24 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:41,851 I'll just be sitting here 25 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:42,894 reading this grown-ups' newspaper. 26 00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,813 (laughing) 27 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,147 Go now! 28 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,148 (gasping) 29 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,399 LISA: Dad! 30 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,901 Remember how you said that going to 31 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:52,278 Itchy & Scratchy Land would be too damned expensive? 32 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:55,365 Oh everything's too damn expensive these days. 33 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,409 Look at this Bible I just got-- 15 bucks. 34 00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:00,537 And talk about a preachy book. 35 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,581 Everybody's a sinner, except for this guy. 36 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,083 But now Itchy & Scratchy Land 37 00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:06,960 is cutting ticket prices in half. 38 00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:09,087 Can we go, Dad? Can we, can we, can we? 39 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,463 -Take it, Lis. -Can we? 40 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,882 No, no, no, no, no. Ask your mother. 41 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,676 BOTH: Yay! 42 00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:16,719 Mom, guess what? 43 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,139 We're going to Itchy & Scratchy Land. 44 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,682 No. 45 00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:22,183 I've already planned our vacation. 46 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:25,395 We're going to the Highway 9 Bird Sanctuary. 47 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:28,356 I understand they've installed a new bird feeder this year. 48 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,277 It's shaped like a diner 49 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,280 and it's on this really tall pole. 50 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:42,579 Mom, Dad, Bart's dead! 51 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:43,705 (both gasping) 52 00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:45,373 That's right-- 53 00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,625 dead serious about going to Itchy & Scratchy Land. 54 00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:48,960 (both groaning) 55 00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:50,336 You know, 56 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,880 Itchy & Scratchy Land isn't just for kids. 57 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,382 They have a place called Parents' Island. 58 00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:55,717 -Hmm? -Hmm? 59 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,594 "Yeah, dancing, bowling, fashionable shops 60 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,762 "over 100 bars and saloons 61 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,807 and a world-class chemical dependency center." 62 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,560 TV Town! Hammock Land! 63 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:08,354 Oh, recipe-related bumper cars. 64 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:11,149 (both gasping) 65 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,358 BOTH: Yay! 66 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,735 Wait a minute. 67 00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,653 I'm not sure about this. 68 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,113 Every time we've ever gone on vacation, 69 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,199 I end up being horribly embarrassed. 70 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:20,658 We end up in a big fight, 71 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,077 and we come home more miserable than when we left. 72 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,287 You have to promise me that 73 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,122 this isn't gonna happen this time. 74 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,916 Embarrassed? What are you talking about? 75 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,877 Well, there was our trip to the Amish Country. 76 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,463 Oh, yes. 77 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,340 (laughing) Hey look, Marge, 78 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,091 they're still not fighting back. 79 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,843 (grunts) Hee-hee. 80 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,137 I can be a jerk and no one can stop me. 81 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,764 Hee-hee-hee-- Ahh! 82 00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:45,934 MARGE: Even worse was our trip to Sandy Beach. 83 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:49,520 (all screaming) 84 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,231 (laughing) 85 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,607 Suckers. 86 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:53,608 (laughing) 87 00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:54,692 (screaming) 88 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,569 Shark Boy! 89 00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:01,658 This year I want us to do things together as a family 90 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,660 and get a lot of good exercise outdoors 91 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,495 so we'll have a lot of wonderful memories 92 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:06,537 of our vacation. 93 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:07,789 Don't worry, Mom. 94 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,540 We'll make you proud of us. 95 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,751 Lobster hat, fishnet Speedo Junior, 96 00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:16,005 wheelie shoes, invisible dog leash. 97 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,424 (laughs) Well, I'm packed. 98 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,134 MARGE: And remember, every morning, 99 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,512 give one bowl of kibble to Santa's Little Helper. 100 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,222 Do you want me to write any of this down? 101 00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:27,183 No. I ain't senile, dad-blasted! 102 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,685 -Okay, bye-bye. -Bye. 103 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,103 LISA: Bye, Grandpa! 104 00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:31,229 Wait a minute. 105 00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:32,730 What was that last thing you said? 106 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,774 Grandpa's little helper? 107 00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,985 What's that? 108 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,529 Which one of you is the mailman? 109 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,700 Okay, let's make a pact. 110 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,743 This is gonna be the best vacation ever 111 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:48,955 or we'll all agree to disband and join other families. 112 00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,164 ALL: Agreed. 113 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,709 HOMER: Ah, the interstate. 114 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,502 Fasten your seat belts, kids. 115 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:57,505 We're on our way to Itchy & Scratchy Land! 116 00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,507 ALL: D'oh! 117 00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,009 Don't worry. 118 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:03,469 I've got an ace up my sleeve. 119 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,805 (honking) 120 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:09,142 (gasping) 121 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,154 Dad, can we stop at Flickey's? 122 00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:22,488 No. 123 00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:30,580 Oh, my God, what'll I do? What'll I do?! 124 00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,165 What's the matter with you, Homer? 125 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:35,543 We don't have any fruits or vegetables in the car. 126 00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:37,837 The whole trunk's full of them, Marge. 127 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,800 You got any fruits or vegetables? 128 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:46,262 (panicky scream) 129 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,265 Hey. Mr. Wimbley, it happened again. 130 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,184 Now to absorb some local color 131 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,853 through the magic of A.M. radio. 132 00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:55,813 MAN (on radio): The Book of Revelations 133 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:59,233 tells us to watch for the seven signs of evil... 134 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,819 MAN 2: ...sign of evil number four. 135 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,489 MAN 3: Continuing our "sign of evil" countdown 136 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,240 here's Vanessa Williams. 137 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:12,914 Aw, haven't we stood in five different states long enough? 138 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:13,915 No. 139 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:21,631 (yawning) 140 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,425 (yawning) 141 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:27,261 We better find a motel and stop for the night. 142 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,930 We don't need to do that, Marge. 143 00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:31,307 I'm not tired. I'm not tired at all. 144 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,143 (tires screeching) 145 00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:37,563 Ooh, glad that wasn't us. 146 00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:42,693 North... south... 147 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:43,986 Ah, nuts to this. 148 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,822 I'm going to take a shortcut. 149 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,281 Homer, no. You're going to get lost. 150 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:48,991 Trust me, Marge. 151 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,661 With today's modern cars, you can't get lost-- 152 00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:54,038 what, with all the silicon chips and such. 153 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:06,092 All right, we're here. 154 00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:08,052 Let us never speak of the shortcut again. 155 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:11,180 HOMER: Now remember, we're in the Itchy lot. 156 00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,603 PILOT: We're now approaching our final destination. 157 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,355 Itchy & Scratchy Land-- 158 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,648 The amusement park of the future 159 00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:22,358 where nothing can possi-blye go wrong. 160 00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:26,070 Possibly go wrong. 161 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:28,865 Huh. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong. 162 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,878 (kids laughing) 163 00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,926 One adult and four children. 164 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,970 Would you like to buy some Itchy & Scratchy Money? 165 00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:53,347 -What's that? -It's money that's made just for the park. 166 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,974 It works just like regular money, 167 00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:56,642 but it's, uh... fun. 168 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:59,353 -Do it, Dad. -Well, okay, if it's fun. 169 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,230 Let's see... 170 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,815 I'll take $1,100 worth. 171 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,653 (groans) 172 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,411 -Ha, cool! -Wow! 173 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,412 Neat-o! 174 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,748 Such a violent motif. 175 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,500 Yeah, but it's just pretend violence 176 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,627 which is actually beneficial for children. 177 00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:24,253 -Ow! -Ow! 178 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,296 (soft growl) 179 00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:26,756 (laughs) 180 00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,925 There's no need to murmur, ma'am. 181 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,635 Here at Itchy & Scratchy Land, 182 00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:33,346 we're just as concerned about violence as you are. 183 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,932 That's why we're always careful to show the consequences 184 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,391 of deadly mayhem 185 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,685 so that we may educate as well as horrify. 186 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,146 When do you show the consequences? 187 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,773 On TV, that mouse pulled out that cat's lungs 188 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,525 and played them like a bagpipe. 189 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,194 But in the next scene, the cat was breathing comfortably. 190 00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:49,612 Just like in real life. 191 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,198 Hey, look over there! Yoing! 192 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,745 I'll have a Brain Burger with extra pus, please? 193 00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:59,747 -Bart! -Eyeball stew. 194 00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,792 Homer, We just got here and already I'm mortified 195 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,502 beyond belief by your embarrassing behavior. 196 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:06,128 I was just ordering a cheeseburger, Mom. 197 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,798 They have violent names for everything here. 198 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,716 Oh, I see. 199 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,218 All right. 200 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:13,761 Mmm... 201 00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:14,762 I'll have the Baby Guts. 202 00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,389 Lady, you disgust me. 203 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:17,848 (disgusted snort) 204 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,892 Mom, that's veal. 205 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:20,935 Oh. 206 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:24,230 You're sure she'll have fun here? 207 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:27,400 Oh, of course. Babies love the ball room. 208 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,370 MARGE: "Torture Land." 209 00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,914 "Explosion Land." 210 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:44,917 "Searing Gas Pain Land." 211 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,795 "Unnecessary Surgery Land." 212 00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:49,839 HOMER: Oh look! 213 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,632 It's the 12 noon robot parade. 214 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,051 Hurry up or we'll have to wait for the 12:05 parade. 215 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,848 ♪♪ 216 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,902 (gunfire) 217 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,780 (laughing) 218 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,868 Wow, this is so much like my dreams it's scary. 219 00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:25,625 Aw, look at that cute little baby ax. 220 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,212 It's cute, but I'm sure it's very sharp 221 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:33,382 -and probably dirty. -(laughing) 222 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,593 Dirty, maybe. Dangerous, hardly. 223 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:36,927 These are the latest 224 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,846 state-of-the-art animatronic robots. 225 00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:41,807 They have sensors that ensure they only attack each other-- 226 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,476 never the guests. 227 00:10:58,282 --> 00:11:00,034 MARGE: See all that stuff in there, Homer? 228 00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:02,370 That's why your robot never worked. 229 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,249 (clicking) 230 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:11,462 ♪♪ (quiet banjo) 231 00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:13,881 This is just what I was hoping for-- 232 00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:16,634 spending the day together as a family. 233 00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:18,469 (screaming) 234 00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,479 (screaming) 235 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:34,151 BOTH: Yay! 236 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:36,654 You know, part of spending time 237 00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,155 together as a family 238 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,616 is spending time apart as individuals. 239 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,410 -Parents' Island? -Yeah-huh. 240 00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,370 I'm sure we'll appreciate each other all the more 241 00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:45,955 when we meet up at dinner. 242 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,707 Are you kids gonna be all right? 243 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:48,833 Kids? 244 00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:49,792 (laughing) 245 00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,718 HOMER: It is the '70s-- 246 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,845 right down to the smallest detail. 247 00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,346 Hey, the bartender 248 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,973 even looks like John Travolta. 249 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:05,558 Yeah. Looks like. 250 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:09,645 Look at all this great stuff, Lis. 251 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,564 Cool-- personalized plates. 252 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:12,565 "Barclay," 253 00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:13,733 "Barry," 254 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:14,734 "Bert," 255 00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:15,735 "Bort"? 256 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,486 Aw, come on-- Bort? 257 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,613 Mommy, Mommy! Buy me a license plate! 258 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,282 No. Come along, Bort. 259 00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:22,742 Are you talking to me? 260 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,910 No. My son is also named Bort. 261 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,746 Who are all these characters? 262 00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,622 Well, you're probably too young to remember 263 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,666 the short-lived "Itchy & Scratchy and Friends Hour." 264 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,251 They had to come up with some friends. 265 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,211 There's Disgruntled Goat 266 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,464 Uncle Ant, Ku Klux Klam. 267 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:37,506 Oh, yeah. 268 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,175 They weren't very funny. 269 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,259 I don't know. 270 00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:41,469 Disgruntled Goat had his moments. 271 00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,388 (muffled humming) 272 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:49,727 (grunt) 273 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,395 (groaning) 274 00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:57,651 ♪♪ 275 00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:00,362 Welcome to T.G.I. McScratchy's 276 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:03,824 where it's constantly New Year's Eve. 277 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,618 Here we go again! 278 00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:09,371 Three, two, one... 279 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,041 CROWD: Happy New Year! 280 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,168 (cheering) 281 00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:18,422 It must be wonderful 282 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,342 to ring in the new year over and over and over. 283 00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,135 Please, kill me. 284 00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:26,305 (explosions) 285 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,182 (laughing) 286 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:35,856 (grunts) 287 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:36,816 (groaning) 288 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,321 The babies look unhappy. 289 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:43,656 Add more balls. 290 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:49,954 NARRATOR: Roger Meyers, Sr., 291 00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:53,374 the gentle genius behind Itchy & Scratchy 292 00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:56,710 loved and cared about almost all the peoples of the world, 293 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:59,797 and he, in return, was beloved by the world, 294 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:03,092 except in 1938 when he was criticized 295 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,552 for his controversial cartoon 296 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:07,555 "Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors." 297 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:08,931 Among his proudest achievements 298 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:10,724 was the full-length musical 299 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,017 "Scratchtasia." 300 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,283 (panting) 301 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,333 (yelling) 302 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,230 (evil laughter) 303 00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:05,362 ♪♪ 304 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,698 Hey Ma, I'm gonna get me a picture 305 00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,241 of this crazy critter. 306 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,828 (nervous laughing) 307 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,914 Uh, no flash photography, please. 308 00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,874 (sputtering) 309 00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:21,211 NARRATOR: Roger Meyer's next full-length feature 310 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,839 was the wildly successful "Pinnitchy-o." 311 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:27,134 Now you be a good, Pinnitchy-o 312 00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,386 and don't you lie. 313 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,597 I promise I will never hurt you. 314 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,015 Ouch! 315 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:34,683 I wonder if this kind of violence 316 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,227 really does desensitize us. 317 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:42,566 Want to get a sno-cone? 318 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:43,525 Okay. 319 00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:46,904 (both gasp) 320 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,282 BART: So, Mr. Itchy, 321 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:53,410 you think you're God's gift to women, do ya? 322 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,662 Don't do it, Bart. 323 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,293 Oh! 324 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,128 (groaning) 325 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,965 -I just wanted to entertain. -(laughing) 326 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,299 Can you believe 327 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,677 I keep getting away with this? 328 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,303 Uh, officer? 329 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:14,056 (elevator bell dings) 330 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,271 Mop-and-bucket man to the exit of The Nauseator. 331 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,649 We have another jumper on the roof of T.G.I. McScratchy's. 332 00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:25,067 We need more "Bort" license plates 333 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,694 in the gift shop. 334 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,863 I repeat, we are sold out of Bort license plates. 335 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,908 Aah! 336 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,118 I really wished they wouldn't scream. 337 00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:38,872 Dad? 338 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,457 I kicked one of those 339 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,251 stupid Itchy characters in the butt. 340 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:45,129 Yeah. There's just no way to resist it, is there? 341 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,718 I want all five T-shirts to say "Best vacation ever." 342 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,761 MAN (on PA): Attention, Marge Simpson, 343 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,138 your son has been arrested. 344 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,222 (crowd gasps) 345 00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:56,473 I'd be terribly embarrassed 346 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,267 if I were that boy's mother. 347 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,019 (soft growl) 348 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,812 Attention Marge Simpson. We've also arrested 349 00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:04,606 your older, balder, fatter son. 350 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,442 (soft growl) 351 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,154 I'm so embarrassed. 352 00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:12,489 I wish there was a hole I could just crawl into and die. 353 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,033 Okay, throw her in the hole. 354 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,660 Oh please! It was just a figure of speech. 355 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:17,786 (exasperated growl) 356 00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,373 You've got to listen to me. 357 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,876 Elementary chaos theory tells us that all robots 358 00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:26,628 will eventually turn against their masters 359 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,673 and run amok in an orgy of blood and kicking 360 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,383 and the biting with the metal teeth 361 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,760 and the hurting and shoving. 362 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,970 How much time do we have, Professor? 363 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,181 Well, according to my calculations, 364 00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:40,642 the robots won't go berserk for at least 24 hours. 365 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:41,643 (groaning) 366 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:47,316 Oh, I forgot to carry the one. 367 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,817 I have nothing to say to you. 368 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,236 But Marge, I was a political prisoner. 369 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,072 How were you a political prisoner? 370 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:55,365 I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! 371 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,825 Do I have to draw you a diagram? 372 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,497 Oh, for gosh sakes, what now? 373 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,256 Hey, look. 374 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,634 This one's coming on to me. 375 00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:15,094 Yoo-hoo! 376 00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,096 Mr. Robot. 377 00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:25,395 Dad, I think you're wrong about that robot 378 00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,480 trying to be your friend. 379 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:28,148 Lisa, don't... 380 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,525 contradict... your... elders. 381 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,111 Ah! My hair! 382 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,029 You chopped off my hair. 383 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,739 Oh, God, I'm ugly. 384 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:38,283 I knew we should have gone to the bird sanctuary. 385 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,785 (chirping and twittering) 386 00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:43,831 (screaming) 387 00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:48,043 I need the biggest seed bell you have. 388 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,087 No, that's too big. 389 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:53,799 A chopper! We're saved. 390 00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:57,177 Hey, you're the guys who didn't like our capering. 391 00:18:57,261 --> 00:19:00,139 When you get to hell, tell them Itchy sent you. 392 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,431 (grunts) 393 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,937 Oh, my. It looks like we're doomed. 394 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,773 Back, you robots! 395 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:12,901 Nobody ruins my family vacation but me 396 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,486 and maybe the boy. 397 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,321 (grunting) 398 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,409 (grunting continues) 399 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,709 (screaming) 400 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:31,670 (all screaming) 401 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,924 Dad! The flash must have scrambled their circuits. 402 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,676 What are you, the narrator? 403 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,387 Ahh! Just keep taking pictures. 404 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:41,430 (clicking) 405 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:42,890 I'll get more cameras. 406 00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:47,895 Smashy-smashy. 407 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:50,189 I don't approve of that. 408 00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:55,360 (screaming) 409 00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,030 Hey, mouse... 410 00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,865 say cheese. 411 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,284 With a dry, cool wit like that 412 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:03,785 I could be an action hero. 413 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,163 -(cameras clicking) -(groaning) 414 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:17,216 Die, bad robots, die! 415 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,884 With a dry, cool wit like that I could be-- 416 00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:20,219 Who would have thought 417 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:21,595 that our visit to Itchy & Scratchy Land 418 00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:24,181 would turn out to be our best vacation ever? 419 00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:25,807 Yeah, best ever. 420 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:29,186 Are you two bonkers? We almost got killed. 421 00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:31,521 Not to mention all the embarrassment I suffered. 422 00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:34,441 But, Mom, it's exactly what you wanted in a vacation. 423 00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:36,276 It brought us together as a family. 424 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,570 We got a lot of good exercise outdoors, 425 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,614 and we have so many memories. 426 00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:41,990 You know you're right. 427 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,618 This truly was the best vacation ever. 428 00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:45,827 Now let us never speak of it again. 429 00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:49,748 As Roger Meyers, Jr., the owner of the park, 430 00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:52,918 I'd like to thank you for stopping the killer robots, 431 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:55,671 and to show my appreciation, here are two free passes. 432 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:56,964 But there are five of us. 433 00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:58,465 (louder) Here are two free passes. 434 00:20:58,548 --> 00:20:59,800 That's better. 435 00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:01,843 Man, if this is happening here, 436 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,845 I'd hate to think what's happening 437 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,889 in Euro Itchy & Scratchy Land. 438 00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,019 (French accent) Hello! 439 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,605 Itchy & Scratchy Land open for business. 440 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:16,733 Who are you to resist it, eh? 441 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,068 Come on. 442 00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:19,611 My last paycheck bounced. 443 00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:22,614 My children need wine. 444 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:25,284 (yelling in French) 445 00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:28,370 (Lisa and Bart laughing) 446 00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,249 I hope you realize now 447 00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:34,167 that violence on TV may be funny, 448 00:21:34,251 --> 00:21:35,836 but it's not so funny 449 00:21:35,919 --> 00:21:37,087 when that violence is happening to you. 450 00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:38,130 But it would be funny to someone 451 00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:39,548 who was watching us. 452 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,675 -(soft growl) -No, Mom, he's right. 453 00:21:41,758 --> 00:21:43,427 Observe. 454 00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:44,636 Ow! 455 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:45,887 (laughs) 456 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,889 (all laughing) 457 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:48,974 Oh, my. 458 00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:50,600 Lisa, go to your room. 459 00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:51,727 (low growl) 460 00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:59,318 ♪♪ 461 00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:43,904 Shh! 462 00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:50,327 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.