1
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:05,797
{\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,261
(bell ringing)
3
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:14,097
(tires screeching)
4
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:15,473
D'oh!
5
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:18,101
-Aah!
-(tires screeching)
6
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,034
{\an8}(birds chirping)
7
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:37,370
{\an8}(grumbling)
8
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,873
(splat)
9
00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:42,250
Sandwich.
(groans)
10
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:44,169
(items crunching)
11
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,588
Hmm, underpants.
12
00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:48,757
Hmm?
13
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:53,636
(groans)
14
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,639
Bowling ball.
More underpants.
15
00:00:58,641 --> 00:00:59,559
{\an8}-Hi, Mom.
-Hi, Mom.
16
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{\an8}Hi, Mom.
17
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:04,689
{\an8}(all chomping, swallowing)
18
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,858
{\an8}After breakfast, me and Milhouse
are going down to the ravine.
19
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,193
{\an8}We got a tip
from a six-year-old
20
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,694
{\an8}that there's a
dead Martian down there.
21
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,404
{\an8}And I'm going to the park
22
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{\an8}to jam with the Little
White Girls blues quartet.
23
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:15,450
{\an8}-Wanna come with me, daddio?
-I'd love to, honey,
24
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,994
{\an8}but Daddy has to go to a
beer-drinking contest today.
25
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,537
{\an8}Think you'll win?
26
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,331
{\an8}Son, when you participate
in sporting events,
27
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,666
{\an8}it's not whether
you win or lose,
28
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:24,793
{\an8}it's how drunk you get.
29
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{\an8}Gotcha. Well, gotta go.
30
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:29,422
{\an8}-Me, too.
-Me, too.
31
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:32,050
{\an8}Uh, it's hard for us to leave
when you're standing there, Mom.
32
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:35,053
{\an8}-Push her down, son.
-No one's going anywhere.
33
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,514
{\an8}We're going to clean
the whole house from top to bottom.
34
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,475
{\an8}-(gasps)
-(gasps)
35
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{\an8}Oh, dear God, no!
36
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(panting, struggling)
37
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:49,109
I think you'll find
that escape is impossible.
38
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,986
{\an8}Now, each one of you
take a floor and get started.
39
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,364
{\an8}-I call the basement.
-ALL: Fine.
40
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,365
{\an8}D'oh?
41
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,367
{\an8}D'oh!
42
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{\an8}(squeaking)
43
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{\an8}I'm tired. I'm hungry.
Can't we just buy a new house?
44
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:05,333
Oh, Bart, cleaning
doesn't have to be a chore.
45
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,836
Here, work to the music.
46
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:11,297
♪ You load 16 tons
and what do you get ♪
47
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,967
♪ Another day older
and deeper in debt ♪
48
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,844
Amen, Ernie.
49
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,972
(sputtering, engine starts)
50
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,565
-All done.
-You're not done.
51
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:31,401
I want you to throw away
these old calendars and TV Guides.
52
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,444
Are you mad, woman?
53
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,947
You never know when
an old calendar might come in handy.
54
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,032
Sure, it's not 1985 right now,
55
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,785
but who knows what
tomorrow will bring?
56
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:44,455
And these TV Guides.
So many memories.
57
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:47,584
"Gomer Upsets Sergeant Carter."
58
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:51,546
Oh, I'll never forget
that episode.
59
00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,548
-Pyle!
-Shazam!
60
00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:55,633
-Pyle!
-Shazam!
61
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:58,136
-Pyle!
-Shazam!
62
00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,638
(laughs)
Shazam.
63
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,558
Stop remembering TV
and get back to work.
64
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:05,560
What's the point
of all this cleaning?
65
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,395
Are we so vain?
66
00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:09,105
(vacuum whirring)
67
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,232
-(jazz playing)
-Hmm?
68
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,530
Hey, Clinton,
get back to work.
69
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,532
Make me.
70
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:23,578
(sighs) They're having a great time,
and I'm stuck in here.
71
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,163
(sour note plays)
72
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:26,998
{\an8}Ooh!
73
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:30,668
{\an8}Hmm. "Use only
in a well-ventilated area."
74
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:33,880
Shove it, buddy.
75
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,718
(grunting)
76
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,679
Whoo! Ahh!
77
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(Homer blabbering)
78
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,936
(popping, squeaking)
79
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,646
Huh? Whee!
80
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:52,982
(all growling)
81
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,651
(straining)
82
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:58,112
I must destroy you!
83
00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:01,241
(screaming)
84
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,409
MARGE: Homer, what's going on
down there?
85
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,870
-Nothing.
-Then stop screaming so loud.
86
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:08,665
Okay.
(quieter screaming)
87
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:14,837
♪♪ (country music plays)
88
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,216
(groaning)
89
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,468
RADIO DJ: And that was
"Take this job and shove it."
90
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:23,930
Now let's make another one
of our lucky phone calls.
91
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,265
DJ 2: Okay, just answer
the phone with
92
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,933
the special phrase that pays,
93
00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,435
and you'll have your choice
of $10,000 in cash--
94
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:30,895
(cash register dings)
95
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,439
(laughs)
Or a really stupid prize.
96
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,983
(clock cuckoos)
97
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:37,110
DJ:
Well, let's make that call.
98
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:38,528
(rings)
99
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,154
KBBL is gonna give me
something stupid!
100
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,906
GRAMPA:
Bart, I'm having palpitations!
101
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,783
Can't tie up
the line, Grampa.
102
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,455
-(all groaning)
-There. Isn't that a lot better?
103
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,000
Now you can do whatever you want,
but don't mess up the house.
104
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,751
ALL:
We won't.
105
00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,215
(groans)
106
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,092
DJ: And now let's try
another lucky phone call.
107
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:03,094
(rings)
108
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:04,929
Help! Help us!
109
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:08,057
They stole our uniforms,
guns and tasers!
110
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,852
-Ooh, fry, piggy.
-(electrical charge)
111
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,729
{\an8}WIGGUM:
No, no, no, don't!
112
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,023
{\an8}(electrical charge,
Wiggum yelling)
113
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,607
{\an8}A little to the left.
114
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,609
{\an8}-(electrical charge)
-Ahh, that's the stuff.
115
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,695
DJ:
Oh, I'm sorry the phrase is
116
00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:22,864
"KBBL is gonna give me
something stupid."
117
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:23,865
DJ 2:
Pretty weird.
118
00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:25,700
(laughs)
119
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,285
DJ:
Let's try one more number.
120
00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:28,786
-(phone rings)
-(gasps)
121
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,205
-Hello.
-KBBL is gonna give me something stupid!
122
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,624
-Well, hot dog, we have a "Wiener."
-(alarm sounds)
123
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,711
-Hello?
-I won! I won!
124
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:38,838
{\an8}You win your choice of
$10,000 or--
125
00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,757
{\an8}What's our gag prize
this week, Bill?
126
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,383
{\an8}(Bill laughs)
A full-grown African elephant.
127
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,844
Well, all that money
sounds mighty tempting, Marty,
128
00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:47,013
but I think I'm gonna
have to go with the elephant.
129
00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:50,391
He's taking the elephant
instead of the money.
130
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,851
{\an8}MARTY:
The kid wants the elephant.
131
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:53,311
{\an8}We don't have a damn elephant.
132
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:55,730
{\an8}Don't whisper into the mike.
133
00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:57,357
{\an8}(clears throat)
Kid, the elephant's a gag prize.
134
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,109
{\an8}Nobody takes the gag prize.
You want the cash.
135
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,361
{\an8}I want the elephant.
136
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:04,197
(laughs)
Stick it to the man.
137
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,449
No, wait!
We'll call you back.
138
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:09,744
Bart, with $10,000,
we'd be millionaires!
139
00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:12,955
We could buy all kinds
of useful things like... love.
140
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,125
Or double-ply windows.
They look just like regular windows,
141
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:19,962
but they'll save us four percent
on our heating bill.
142
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,923
Well, they will.
143
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:25,093
You all seem to be forgetting
the most important thing,
144
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,929
which is, that it's wrong
to imprison an animal.
145
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:30,681
Lisa, go to your room.
146
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,308
(man laughing)
147
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,395
We appreciate you coming down,
but, look, kid.
148
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,647
The thing is, uh--
(chuckles)
149
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,649
We don't have an elephant.
(laughs)
150
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,733
Come on, kid,
just take the money, huh?
151
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,819
Otherwise, we might get fired.
152
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,571
-You don't want us to get fired, do you?
-Eh, either way.
153
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,032
-(both gasp)
-(groans)
154
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,910
We think we know how your mind works,
Bart, so how 'bout this?
155
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:54,080
We pay your principal $10,000
to pull down his pants
156
00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:56,749
and keep 'em down for
the rest of the school year.
157
00:06:56,833 --> 00:07:00,211
-I'll do it, Bart.
-Um... no.
158
00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:04,132
Okay, okay. What if we use the 10,000
to surgically transform Skinner here
159
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,884
into, uh, some kind
of a lobster-like creature?
160
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,845
Well, now wait just a minute.
That wasn't discussed with me.
161
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:13,641
Uh, gentlemen, I am not leaving
without my elephant.
162
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,562
-Hey!
-Whee!
163
00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:19,355
Where's my elephant?
164
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,900
-(mellow music plays)
-BART: Where's my elephant?
165
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,277
Where's my elephant?
166
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,195
Where's my elephant?
167
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,739
Hey, they're playing
"The Elephant Song."
168
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,741
I love that.
Reminds me of elephants.
169
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:38,124
So, isn't that what we're all
asking in our own lives?
170
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:41,252
Where's my elephant?
I know that's what I've been asking.
171
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:43,254
(electrical crackling)
172
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,339
Look, our ratings are down,
and the station is being swamped
173
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,842
with angry calls
and letter bombs.
174
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,847
-And it's all your fault.
-Yes, it is, ma'am.
175
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,932
This is the DJ-3000.
176
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:57,101
It plays CDs automatically,
177
00:07:57,185 --> 00:08:00,146
and it has three distinct
varieties of inane chatter.
178
00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:03,941
MALE VOICE: Hey, hey, how about
that weather out there?
179
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,069
Whoa, that was
the caller from hell.
180
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,447
Well, hot dog,
we have a "wiener."
181
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,199
Man, that thing's great.
182
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,618
Don't praise
the machine.
183
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:17,830
If you don't get that kid an elephant
by tomorrow, the DJ-3000 gets your job.
184
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,167
(grunts)
185
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,044
Looks like those clowns
in congress did it again.
186
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:24,128
What a bunch of clowns.
187
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,505
(laughs)
188
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,215
How does he keep up
with the news like that?
189
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,841
-(doorbell rings)
-(yawns)
190
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,055
-(gasps)
-(tires squeal)
191
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:35,681
(Marge, Homer gasp)
192
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,934
Whoo-ho-ho-ho!
193
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,727
(trumpets)
194
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,192
(elephant trumpets)
195
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,988
(snorting)
196
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,323
Homer?
197
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:54,825
It looks like
it could gore.
198
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,078
(chuckles)
It does look like Al Gore.
199
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,247
Oh, he smells worse
than anything.
200
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:03,501
Hey, you, elephant! Lift me up
on your back, man. Whoo!
201
00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:05,753
(Marge gasps)
Bart!
202
00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:09,173
(grunts)
Cool!
203
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:12,093
(chuckles)
He tried to kill me.
204
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,178
I really think
this is a bad idea.
205
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,973
Marge, I agree with you
in theory.
206
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,308
In theory,
communism works.
207
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,019
In theory.
208
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,483
{\an8}Look, he thinks
he's people.
209
00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:33,197
(trumpets)
210
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:39,370
I think I'm gonna
call him Stampy.
211
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,122
(trumpets)
212
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,708
{\an8}-What's he yelling about?
-He's hungry.
213
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:47,837
{\an8}Here you go, Stampy.
Eat it slow. It has to last for--
214
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,256
You ate it too fast.
215
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:52,675
Maybe if we tied it down so it couldn't
move, it wouldn't get so hungry.
216
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:55,136
You can't do that, Dad.
It's cruel!
217
00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:57,305
Oh, everything's cruel
according to you.
218
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,515
Keeping him chained up
in the backyard is cruel.
219
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,517
Pulling on his tail
is cruel.
220
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,436
Yelling in his ears
is cruel.
221
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,521
Everything is cruel.
222
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,566
So excuse me if I'm cruel!
(yells)
223
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:11,319
-(chomps)
-(muffled yelling)
224
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,531
{\an8}(grunts,
breathing heavily)
225
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:20,161
Now I've had my head in an elephant,
a hippo and a giant sloth.
226
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:22,913
(swallowing)
227
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,790
(crunching)
228
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,542
{\an8}(grunts)
229
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,587
{\an8}I think you're taking unfair
advantage of my generous offer.
230
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,006
-Shut up!
-(labored breathing)
231
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:35,217
He can't just eat peanuts, Dad.
He needs plants to live.
232
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,094
Plants, eh?
233
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,098
(squirrels chittering)
234
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,728
Strip the bark now, Stampy.
235
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,605
Hey, any more arboretums
around here?
236
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:48,773
No!
237
00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:56,364
(Homer gasps) That bird!
He's killing the elephant! Stop him!
238
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,741
No, Dad,
he's grooming him.
239
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,576
Grooming him, eh?
240
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:04,789
Oh, Homer, there's
a bird on your head.
241
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:07,083
I know.
He's grooming me.
242
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,461
Mm, elephant fresh.
243
00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:14,757
(several dogs barking)
244
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,759
(Stampy trumpets)
245
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,470
(silence)
246
00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:21,639
(straining)
247
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,393
Good night, Stampy.
248
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,314
(sniffing)
249
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,274
(Bart sighs)
250
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:36,654
(yawns, grunts)
251
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,782
Uh-- Ahem.
252
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,287
Thanks, Bud.
Appreciate it.
253
00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:50,334
-Hmm.
-Taught Stampy any tricks yet, Bart?
254
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,795
Nah. He doesn't wanna learn,
and I don't wanna teach him.
255
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,422
We get along fine.
256
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:58,134
-(heavy panting)
-Hey, what's with them?
257
00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,219
I think they're trying
to get some attention.
258
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:03,013
Oh. Good luck!
259
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,808
Look at these bills.
"Chain for elephant."
260
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:09,603
"Shots for elephant."
"Oversized decorative poncho"!
261
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:12,732
Technically, it's for a giraffe,
but I think I can let it out a little.
262
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,276
Well, these bills will have to be
paid out of your allowance.
263
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:17,528
You'll have to raise my allowance
to about $1,000 a week.
264
00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:20,948
-Then that's what I'll do, smart guy.
-(doorbell rings)
265
00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:24,827
{\an8}-Can we see the elephant?
-We'll pay you money.
266
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:27,538
For the ninth time, no!
267
00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:29,540
(doorbell rings)
268
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:32,668
Wait a minute.
This gives me an idea.
269
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,716
Mm, here's
a better sign, Dad.
270
00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:39,925
I don't have time
to read it.
271
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,260
Just give me
the gist of it, son.
272
00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:43,763
{\an8}(playful chattering)
273
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,351
-(grunts)
-Your kid flew five feet.
274
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,853
That counts as a ride.
Two bucks.
275
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,521
That was never five feet.
276
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,940
That animal of yours
is certainly bad-tempered.
277
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,567
{\an8}Yeah, well, you'd be
grumpy too
278
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,194
{\an8}if you were taken out
of your natural habitat
279
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:01,197
{\an8}and gawked at by a bunch
of slack-jawed yokels.
280
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,700
Hey, ma, look at that
pointy-hairded little girl. (guffaws)
281
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,912
{\an8}You guys don't
understand Stampy.
282
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:09,663
{\an8}He's just like me.
283
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,791
{\an8}We're a pair of jokers,
and both of us are wild.
284
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,627
We don't take nothing
from nobody. (sighs)
285
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,129
(laughs)
Smithers!
286
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:20,758
This reminds me of that fat man
I used to ride to work.
287
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,551
-(groaning)
-(door closes)
288
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,346
Look at this, Marge.
$58 and all of it profit!
289
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:28,390
I'm the smartest businessman
in the world.
290
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,393
Stampy's food bill
today was $300.
291
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:34,772
Marge, please, don't humiliate me
in front of the money.
292
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:38,818
(humming)
293
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,487
(customers reacting
negatively)
294
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,405
(car doors slamming,
tires screeching)
295
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,158
(vehicles departing)
296
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,494
Um, Milhouse saw the elephant
twice
297
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:49,870
and rode him once, right?
298
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,331
Yes, but we paid you
four dollars.
299
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:55,125
Well, that was under
our old price structure.
300
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:57,294
Under our new
price structure,
301
00:13:57,378 --> 00:14:00,881
your bill comes
to a total of $700.
302
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,634
Now, you've already
paid me four dollars,
303
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:08,097
so that's just $696 more
that you owe me.
304
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,182
Get off our property.
305
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,434
This town
is full of deadbeats.
306
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,311
We can't afford this elephant.
307
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,313
No, Dad, he's my friend.
308
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,440
Sorry, Bart.
I'm gonna have to sell him.
309
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,359
♪♪ (music playing)
310
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:24,780
{\an8}(roars)
311
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,866
{\an8}Well, sir,
I'll be honest with ya.
312
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:30,661
I need a large African elephant,
and I need it today.
313
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,705
But I'm afraid this just
isn't what I'm looking for.
314
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,623
What do you mean?
It's an elephant, isn't it?
315
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:38,294
Well, it is and it isn't,
if you understand what I mean.
316
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,755
He likes peanuts.
317
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:46,135
Our wildlife refuge is the ideal
environment for your elephant.
318
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:49,138
Thousands of acres
of simulated African savannah.
319
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,681
It's perfect, Dad.
320
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:53,642
I only have two questions:
How much? And give it to me.
321
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,936
Well, we really can't
offer you any money.
322
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,189
-We're a nonprofit organization.
-So, your bid is zero?
323
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,442
-Well, we'd like to think of it as--
-Thank you.
324
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:03,569
-You know, I really think--
-Thank you.
325
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:08,282
Mr. Simpson, I think you'll find
this amount more than fair.
326
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:10,910
Dad, I think
he's an ivory dealer.
327
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,120
His boots are ivory.
His hat is ivory.
328
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:15,581
And I'm pretty sure
that check is ivory.
329
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:19,960
Lisa, a guy who has lots of ivory
is less likely to hurt Stampy
330
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,755
than a guy whose
ivory supplies are low.
331
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:27,593
(growling)
We love... you.
332
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:28,969
(meows)
333
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:31,555
-Mr. Blackheart?
-Yes, my pretty.
334
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:34,683
-Are you an ivory dealer?
-(laughs)
335
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,561
Little girl, I've had
lots of jobs in my day--
336
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:41,941
Whale hunter, seal clubber,
president of the Fox network--
337
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,525
And, like most people,
338
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,110
yeah, I've dealt
a little ivory.
339
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:48,322
Dad, you can't do this.
Stampy is my friend.
340
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:50,908
Don't worry, son.
I'll get you a new elephant.
341
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:53,202
-I'll take that one too.
-Done.
342
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,286
I'll be back in
the morning to pick up Stampy.
343
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,621
Here's the keys.
344
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,624
-Elephants don't have keys.
-I'll just keep these then.
345
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:00,918
Don't worry, Stampy.
346
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,712
I won't let Homer sell you
to that ivory dealer.
347
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,547
You and I are gonna
run away together.
348
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,634
We'll keep to the back roads
and make our way south.
349
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:12,596
Then, if I know my geography,
it's just 12 miles to Africa.
350
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,182
Okay, bud, very quietly,
let's just sneak through--
351
00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:16,266
(grunts)
352
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,810
Stampy!
353
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,478
(trumpets)
354
00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:25,192
(gasps) Oh, it's the four elephants
of the apocalypse.
355
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:28,153
-That's horsemen, Ned.
-Well, getting closer.
356
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:34,576
Mom, Dad,
Bart and Stampy are gone!
357
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,537
Oh, my Lord!
358
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,415
I bet it's because of that horrible
ivory dealer, Dad.
359
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,000
He took Bart too?
360
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,794
That wasn't part of
our deal, Blackheart!
361
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:46,964
That wasn't part!
362
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,301
Piece of cake.
363
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,929
All we have to do is follow
the path of destruction.
364
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,600
Oh, stupid tornado!
365
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,227
(laughs)
Look.
366
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,229
It got Patty and Selma.
367
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,066
(groans) I feel it
all the way up my skirt.
368
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,192
Ditto.
369
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:11,655
(trumpets)
370
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:12,614
Whoa!
371
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:15,117
Whoa!
372
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,206
(chuckles)
Yeah, right, lady.
373
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,834
An elephant ran through
your front yard. Okay.
374
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:27,337
Wiggum. Yeah, right,
mister. Mm-hmm.
375
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:30,382
An elephant just knocked over
your mailbox. Okay.
376
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:33,343
Wiggum.
Yeah, right, buddy.
377
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,638
Liquor store robbery,
officer down. Sure.
378
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,767
And I'm Edward G. Robinson.
Waah!
379
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:45,522
(cheering)
380
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,608
(trumpeting)
381
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,652
(jeering)
382
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:54,823
(trumpets)
383
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,325
Whoa!
384
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,077
This is the moment
we've feared, people.
385
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,912
Many of you thought
it would never happen,
386
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:03,499
but I insisted we spend two hours
every morning training for it.
387
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,626
You all thought I was mad.
388
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:08,462
Many of you requested to be
transferred to another peanut factory.
389
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:10,547
-But now, we--
-(trumpets)
390
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,845
Stampy!
391
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,848
Stampy, where are
you, boy?
392
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,643
-(trumpeting)
-Huh?
393
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:25,104
{\an8}(panting)
(trumpeting)
394
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:28,565
{\an8}FEMALE VOICE: These prehistoric
creatures blundered into the tar pits,
395
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:31,819
{\an8}which preserved their skeletons
in showroom condition.
396
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:35,489
Oh. He's gone forever.
397
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,741
(loud trumpeting)
398
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,284
(gasps)
Stampy!
399
00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:43,413
Mm.
400
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,124
Huh?
401
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:48,127
{\an8}Oh, you're lonely for
other elephants, aren't you?
402
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,755
-D'oh!
-A deer!
403
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,757
A female deer.
404
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,510
Son, you're okay!
405
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:59,388
And you led us
to the precious ivory.
406
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:02,724
And, of course, your lovable pet,
who it's connected to.
407
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:06,353
Dad, I can't let you sell him.
Stampy and I are friends.
408
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:08,147
Ow!
409
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,024
Anyway, I want him to go
to that animal refuge.
410
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,526
Forget it!
411
00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:15,028
That elephant cost me
thousands of dollars.
412
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,906
Dad, how would you like to be
sold to an ivory dealer?
413
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,908
-I'd like it fine.
-Even if he killed you
414
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,244
and made your teeth
into piano keys?
415
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,037
Yes, of course I would.
416
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:26,206
Who wouldn't like that,
to be part of the music scene?
417
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,834
-Dad, you're sinking!
-Huh?
418
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:31,420
-Get a rope, Bart.
-No, that's okay.
419
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:33,881
I'm pretty sure
I can struggle my way out.
420
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:37,634
First, I'll just reach in
and pull my legs out.
421
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,721
{\an8}Now I'll pull my arms out
with my face.
422
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:42,723
{\an8}Mm.
(gurgling)
423
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:45,225
-Dad!
-Homey!
424
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,186
Stampy, quick!
Pull him out!
425
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,732
Thanks, Stampy.
426
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,277
Ow!
427
00:19:57,487 --> 00:19:59,573
(gasping)
428
00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:03,327
Ah, I'm alive!
I'm alive!
429
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:06,788
And I owe it all
to this feisty feline.
430
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,790
Dad, feline means cat.
431
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,501
Elephant, honey.
It's an elephant.
432
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,546
And I'm sure he'll make
a grand piano.
433
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:17,382
-BOTH: Dad!
-Oh.
434
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,927
I guess it wouldn't be
right to sell Stampy
435
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,970
after he saved my life.
436
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,431
And the boy seems to have some
sort of relationship with him.
437
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,309
-Thanks, Dad.
-On the other hand,
438
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:29,645
who's to say
what's right these days,
439
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:33,482
what with all our modern ideas...
and products?
440
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,904
All right. We'll give the stupid elephant
to the stupid animal refuge.
441
00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:41,782
BOTH: Yea!
442
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:45,244
Uh, Mom,
we're stuck to Dad.
443
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,870
(groans)
444
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,789
This is just what happened
at the caramel factory.
445
00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:51,208
-Ow!
-Ow, my hair!
446
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:52,876
(grunting)
447
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,420
Mmm, caramel.
448
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:58,465
(trumpets)
449
00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:00,425
So long, Stampy.
450
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,428
I know you're gonna like it here.
No, Stampy, no!
451
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,847
(trumpets)
452
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:09,476
(chuckles)
Oh, thanks, boy.
453
00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:11,895
-(roars)
-Whoa! Whoa, boy!
454
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:14,856
Wh-whoa!
455
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:18,735
-(grunts)
-(trumpets)
456
00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:24,157
(Bart laughs)
457
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:27,452
Attaboy, Stampy.
Butt him once for me.
458
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,997
Gosh, I thought he'd be happier
in his true habitat.
459
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,999
Oh, I think he is.
460
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:34,459
Then why is he attacking
all those other elephants?
461
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,838
Well, animals are a lot
like people, Mrs. Simpson.
462
00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:39,589
{\an8}-Some of them act badly
-Stampy!
463
00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:41,842
{\an8}Because they had a hard life
or have been mistreated.
464
00:21:41,925 --> 00:21:46,054
But, like people,
some of them are just jerks.
465
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,681
Stop that, Mr. Simpson.
466
00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:49,182
(grunting)
467
00:22:44,654 --> 00:22:46,198
Shh!
468
00:22:49,576 --> 00:22:52,788
{\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.