1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,131 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:11,052 (bell ringing) 3 00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:28,528 ♪♪ (jazzy solo) 4 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:36,745 D'oh! 5 00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,705 -Ahh! -(tires screech) 6 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,679 BART: Go, toothpaste, go! 7 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,306 Move your pasty white butt. 8 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:59,017 LISA: Come on, shampoo! You can do it! 9 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:02,103 Yay! I won your stupid bathroom products race. 10 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,480 No fair, you only won 11 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:04,939 'cause you had the inside track. 12 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,357 If the water was spinning the other way-- 13 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,234 It never spins the other way. 14 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,611 In the northern hemisphere 15 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,613 water always drains counterclockwise. 16 00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:13,073 It's called the Coriolis effect. 17 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,449 No way. 18 00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,785 Water doesn't obey your rules. 19 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,119 It goes where it wants. 20 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,579 Like me, babe. 21 00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:21,164 Yes, Bart. 22 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:22,624 Why don't you try it and see? 23 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:29,089 I know I've seen it go the other way. 24 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,173 Ah... 25 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,716 Faithful toilet. 26 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:32,759 You'll prove me right. 27 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,097 (groaning) 28 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,348 Uh. Uh. 29 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,725 Uh, uh, uh. 30 00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:43,978 ♪ I'm a-singin' in the show-- ♪ Ow! Ow-ooh! 31 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,106 Hot! Yah! Cold! 32 00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:48,149 No! Hot! Cold! Hot! 33 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,944 Oh! Who's! Doing! That?! 34 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:54,239 BART: Uh! Uh! Uh, uh, uh! 35 00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:57,659 Oh, for Pete's sake, Bart, use the plunger! 36 00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,619 Bart, water will only go the other way 37 00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,579 in the southern hemisphere. 38 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:04,624 What the hell is the southern hemisphere? 39 00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:05,959 Haven't you ever looked at your globe? 40 00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,839 See, the southern hemisphere is made up of 41 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,006 everything below the equa-- 42 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,844 This line. 43 00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,011 Hmm. 44 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:20,056 So down there in, say... Argentina, 45 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,475 or Rand McNally, 46 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,102 all their water runs backwards? 47 00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:27,480 Uh-huh. In fact, in Rand McNally 48 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:28,898 they wear hats on their feet 49 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,608 and hamburgers eat people. 50 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:31,818 Cool. 51 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,448 (touch tones) 52 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,627 (phone ringing) 53 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:52,589 BART: Hello, southern hemisphere? 54 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,591 Which way does the water go in your toilet? 55 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,634 Just a minute, I'll check. 56 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,393 Ah, nuts. 57 00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:07,061 (touch tones) 58 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,065 Please to repeat again and I will translating 59 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:13,109 for the El Presidente. 60 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,654 BART: Which way does the water turn in your toilet? 61 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,406 Dice que el curso esta cambiando. 62 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:19,991 Ay, caramba! 63 00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:22,327 Los insurgentes ya van a capturar la capital. 64 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:23,369 Necesito huir. 65 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:24,412 Ay! 66 00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,331 (crashing) 67 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:29,250 I can't get a straight answer out of this crazy hemisphere. 68 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,710 (touch tones) 69 00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:32,629 (phone ringing) 70 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:35,048 Eine minuten, eine minuten. 71 00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:39,510 Ach! Das wagenfone est eine nuisancefone. 72 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,304 Buenas noches, mein fuhrer. 73 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:42,680 Ja, ja. 74 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,558 (ringing) 75 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:46,935 (screaming) 76 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,437 Bart, you can't actually call these places. 77 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,272 Don't you know how expensive 78 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,565 international calls are? 79 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,485 Hello, operator. 80 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:58,196 I'd like to make a collect call to... 81 00:03:58,279 --> 00:03:59,530 Australia. 82 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:00,823 (phone ringing) 83 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,915 WOMAN: This is the international operator. 84 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,625 Will you accept a collect call from... 85 00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:13,336 (deep voice) Uh, yes, this is Dr. Bart Simpson 86 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,629 of the International Drainage Commission. 87 00:04:14,712 --> 00:04:15,672 It's an emergency. 88 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,340 If it's an emergency, then. 89 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,466 We understand some drains in your area 90 00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:19,676 have been malfunctioning, 91 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,344 sucking in people and whatnot. 92 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,096 Willikers. That's awful. 93 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,555 Indeed. 94 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,766 We need you to check your sinks and toilets 95 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,518 and tell us which way the water is going. 96 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,228 And please-- Stand clear. 97 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,855 (water running) 98 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,440 (flushing) 99 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,694 (panting) 100 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:38,987 The fixtures... 101 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,780 they're all draining clockwise, sir. 102 00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,198 Oh. She was right. 103 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,284 Stupid Lisa, science queen. 104 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,994 Well, why don't you just check your neighbor's drains. 105 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,245 I'll hold. 106 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,377 Hey, Bart. The bakery caught fire 107 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,212 and all of downtown smells like cookies. 108 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,006 Want to go smell? 109 00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,300 Yes. Yes, I do. 110 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:11,436 BOY: Hello. Sir? Sir? 111 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:14,188 I've returned from the Koolamugery's place. 112 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,732 They're draining clockwise too. 113 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,066 Draining? 114 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,484 I don't care about that anymore. 115 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:19,527 Are we in any dange-- 116 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:28,619 Burkina Faso? Disputed zone? 117 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,246 Who called all these weird places? 118 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,247 HOMER'S BRAIN: Quiet. It might be you. 119 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,248 I can't remember. 120 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,541 No, I'm gonna ask Marge. 121 00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:35,835 No, no. Why embarrass us both? 122 00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:38,796 Just write a check and I'll release some more endorphins. 123 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:41,382 (sighs) 124 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,010 900 dollar-adoos!? 125 00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,219 Tobias! 126 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,763 Did you accept 127 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,015 a six-hour collect call from the states? 128 00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:50,975 It was an emergency call 129 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,062 from the International Drainage Commission in Springfield. 130 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,813 Oh, my God! 131 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,357 There's nothing wrong with the bidet, is there? 132 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,983 (phone ringing) 133 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,109 Hello? 134 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,486 Right, I'm calling all the way 135 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:03,363 from Squatters Crag, Australia. 136 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:06,574 And I want to speak to, uh, Dr. Bart Simpson right now. 137 00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:08,659 Uh... hold, please. 138 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,286 All right, but I don't-- 139 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,746 (deep voice) Payroll, Burt Stanton speaking. 140 00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:14,123 Oi. I said Bart Simpson. 141 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,666 What kind of a company is this? 142 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,126 (falsetto) Bart Simpson's office. 143 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,545 Thank the great good Lord. Look, I was just say-- 144 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:20,671 (falsetto) One moment please. 145 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,715 (falsetto humming) 146 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,175 Who do they think I am? 147 00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:26,511 Some stupid Aussie drongo? 148 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,471 Bleedin' yanks. I ought to-- 149 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:29,472 (deep voice) This is Bart Simpson. 150 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:30,848 Can I help you, ma'am? 151 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,893 Yeah-- Hey! My name is Bruno Drundridge, right? 152 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:36,270 You owe me $900, mate. 153 00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,231 No, you owe me $900. 154 00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,899 I-- You-- Ohh-- 155 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,735 You're-- You're just some punk kid aren't you? 156 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:46,322 You picked the wrong guy to tangle with here, mate. 157 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,365 (laughing) 158 00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:48,825 I don't think so. 159 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,910 You're all the way in Australia. 160 00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:52,078 Hey, I think I hear 161 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,704 a dingo eating your baby. 162 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,164 Yeah, well-- Ooh! 163 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,542 Oh. Ah. That's it. 164 00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,503 I'm going to report this to me member of parliament. 165 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,004 Hey! Gus! 166 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,215 I got something to report to you. 167 00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:06,926 That's a bloody outrage, it is. 168 00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,761 I'm gonna take this all the way 169 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,430 to the prime minister. 170 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:17,311 Hey! Mr. Prime Minister! 171 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,396 Andy! 172 00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:21,566 Hi, mates! What's the good word? 173 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,611 "Mr. Simpson, blah blah. 174 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,905 Misrepresentation over a telephone, yadda yadda. 175 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,074 Sincerely, some Australian Jerk." 176 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,500 (grunting) 177 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,627 Hey! I need that. 178 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,754 Office of the Solicitor General? 179 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,007 Office of the Prime Minister? 180 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:48,259 Hopping Mad Collection Agency? 181 00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:49,969 What is all this stuff? 182 00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:52,305 Nothing. Some stupid country 183 00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:53,890 thinks I owe them money. 184 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,850 Uh-oh. Bart, you better talk 185 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,560 to Mom and Dad about this. 186 00:07:57,643 --> 00:08:01,063 Hey, guys. Just so you don't hear any wild rumors-- 187 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,149 I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia. 188 00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:05,568 That's no reason to block the TV. 189 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:06,944 Oh, my. 190 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,116 Bart, did you trick an Australian boy 191 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,827 into accepting a $900 collect call? 192 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:15,953 Yes'm. 193 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:19,165 Hmm... There it is, "Aus-tral-ia." 194 00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:20,791 I'll be damned. 195 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,084 (chuckles) 196 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,171 Look at this country-- "U-ar-gay." 197 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,756 (laughing) 198 00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:30,426 (doorbell rings) 199 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,094 Oh, my. Hello. 200 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,348 I'm Evan Conniver with the U.S. State department. 201 00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:38,142 "Undersecretary for International Protocol-- 202 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,603 Brat and Punk division"? 203 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,688 Unfortunately, Bart, your little escapade 204 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,398 could not have come at a worse time. 205 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:48,236 Americo-Australian-ian relations are at an all-time low. 206 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,822 As I'm sure you remember in the late 1980s 207 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,032 the U.S. Experienced 208 00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:54,492 a short-lived infatuation 209 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,577 with Australian culture. 210 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,955 For some bizarre reason the Aussies thought 211 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,206 this would be a permanent thing. 212 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:01,249 Of course it wasn't. 213 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,833 LISA: I know those words 214 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,460 but that sign makes no sense. 215 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,629 Anyway, the down-under fad fizzled 216 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,966 and the diplomatic climate turned absolutely frosty. 217 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,467 Oops. 218 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,510 Let's pretend we didn't see that. 219 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:18,307 And Bart's childish taunting agitated the Aussies further. 220 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,809 Oh, he'll agitate you. 221 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:22,019 Ho, ho, he sure will. 222 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,354 (laughing) 223 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:28,484 What can we do for you? 224 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,486 Well, it's too late to merely pay back the money. 225 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,031 But as a sign of good faith to our Australian "friends" 226 00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,659 we'd like to imprison Bart for five years. 227 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,494 That's tough but fair. 228 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,787 Boy, go with the man. 229 00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:42,623 No, no, no! No. 230 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,292 I'm not gonna have my son go to jail 231 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:47,253 over some silly tiff with Australia. 232 00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,088 You'll just have to find some other 233 00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:51,424 country to have relations with. 234 00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:52,967 You're sure now? The prison train is sailing. 235 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:57,638 Okay. I'm not hearing a lot of support for prison. 236 00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,724 There is one other option. 237 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,809 They'll drop the charges if 238 00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:04,437 Bart makes a public apology in Australia. 239 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,771 All Bart has to do is apologize 240 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,773 and we get a free trip to Australia? 241 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,942 -Mm-hmm. -I can handle that. 242 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,193 I'm an expert at phony apologies. 243 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,903 -Bart! -I'm sorry. 244 00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,155 That's better. 245 00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:15,197 (chuckles) 246 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,217 Phew. 247 00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:49,523 Uh, we left at 1:30 p.m. Monday. 248 00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,442 What time is it now? 249 00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,986 It's 6:45 a.m. next Wednesday. 250 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,404 You may also be interested to know 251 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,281 that's it's summer here, not winter. 252 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,075 (groans) 253 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,409 What does that sign say? 254 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,745 I thought they spoke English in this country. 255 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:03,871 It says you can't bring in 256 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,998 outside plants or animals. 257 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,541 Any foreign creature you bring in 258 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,127 could upset the environmental balance. 259 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,087 Oh. 260 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,757 Sorry, girl. 261 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,717 I don't want to get in any more trouble down here. 262 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,386 I'll pick you up on the way home. 263 00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:19,428 (croaks) 264 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,226 (croaks) 265 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,739 Hey! Are you like one of those English guards 266 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,075 who can't laugh or smile or anything? 267 00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:43,369 (jabbering gibberish) 268 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:47,415 -Ow! -No, sir! 269 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:48,749 U.S. Marine Corps, sir! 270 00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:55,089 Oh, yeah. This is the life. 271 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:56,882 Boy, next summer, can you commit 272 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,884 some fraud in Orlando, Florida? 273 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,428 I'm way ahead of you, Dad. 274 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,012 Kno-ock. 275 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,181 Simpsons, I'd like you to meet our ambassador, 276 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,975 the honorable Avril Ward. 277 00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:09,687 Hello. Now, everything is all set for Bart's apology. 278 00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:12,398 Mr. Conniver will meet you at the parliament house at 3:00 p.m. 279 00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:13,691 Any questions? 280 00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,735 Yeah. Do the toilets go backwards in here? 281 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:18,112 No. To combat homesickness we've installed 282 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:21,157 a device that makes them swirl the correct American way. 283 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:33,753 ♪ Sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing ♪ 284 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:40,301 Hey, G.I. Joe, your sign's broken. 285 00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,136 We're already in Australia. 286 00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:44,889 Actually, sir! The embassy is considered American soil, sir! 287 00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,265 Really? 288 00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:48,517 Look, boy. Now I'm in Australia. 289 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,103 Now I'm in America. Australia. America. 290 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,438 -I get it, Dad. -Australia. 291 00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:53,647 America, Australia. 292 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:54,774 Homer, that's enough. 293 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,901 America, Australia-- Ow! 294 00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,612 Here in America, we don't tolerate that kind of crap, sir! 295 00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:03,991 "Australia was originally founded 296 00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:06,452 as a settlement for British convicts." 297 00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,913 Hmm, Lisa, watch your camera. 298 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,790 (grumbling) 299 00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,588 You call that a knife? 300 00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:19,799 This is a knife. 301 00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,134 That's not a knife. That's a spoon. 302 00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:24,136 All right, all right. You win. 303 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:27,014 I see you've played knifey-spoony before. 304 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,685 Hey, give me one of those famous giant beers 305 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:33,646 I heard so much about. 306 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:35,689 Something wrong, Yank? 307 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:39,360 No. It's pretty big, I guess. 308 00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:41,237 I'll just have a cup of coffee. 309 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,321 Beer it is. 310 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:44,031 No. I said coffee. 311 00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:45,032 Beer? 312 00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,243 Cof-fee. 313 00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:48,994 Be-er? 314 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,205 C-o... 315 00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:53,290 B-e... 316 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,631 We'll meet you boys back here for dinner. 317 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:01,799 Good luck, honey. 318 00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:03,467 Mmm... 319 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:04,760 Bart, I'm sorry I'm gonna miss 320 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,053 your public humiliation. 321 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,930 But the Woolumbaloo Dirt Monument 322 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,432 is just too exciting to pass up. 323 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,233 Hear ye, hear ye. 324 00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:21,527 This session will now come to order. 325 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:24,488 With the cooperation of the U.S. Department of State 326 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,824 we have present today one Bart Simpson. 327 00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:29,827 (murmuring) 328 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,204 I believe he has something to say. 329 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,205 Bart? 330 00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,964 (clearing throat) 331 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,592 I'm sorry. 332 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,927 I'm sorry for what I did to your country. 333 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,554 -Bravo. -Very good. 334 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:52,141 Well, you're free to go, Bart... 335 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,476 right after your additional punishment. 336 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,811 Punishment? 337 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,564 Well, a mere apology would be bit empty, eh? 338 00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:01,609 -Let the booting begin. -Booting? 339 00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,861 Aw, it's just a little kick in the bum. 340 00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:06,405 (pounding) 341 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,037 Uh-oh. 342 00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:23,047 What kind of a sick country would kick someone 343 00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,381 with a giant boot? 344 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:25,674 Mr. Simpson, shush. 345 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,885 Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense. 346 00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,720 It's one of their proudest traditions. 347 00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:35,142 (indistinct shouting) 348 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:37,311 You sold us out, Conniver! 349 00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:41,857 -(gasping) -(shouting) 350 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,862 Ooh! 351 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,281 Stay back or I'll boot your prime minister. 352 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,407 I'll do it! 353 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:51,784 So help me God, I'll boot him! 354 00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:53,661 He means it. 355 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,205 When will you Australians learn? 356 00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:58,874 In America, we stopped using corporal punishment 357 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,250 and things have never been better. 358 00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:01,961 The streets are safe. 359 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:05,214 Old people strut confidently through the darkest alleys 360 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,424 and the weak and nerdy are admired 361 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,677 for their computer programming abilities. 362 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:13,931 So, like us, let your children run wild and free. 363 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:17,142 Because as the old saying goes: 364 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:20,354 "Let your children run wild and free." 365 00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,773 Now, boy, run back to the embassy. 366 00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,316 Back to American soil. 367 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,693 Yah! 368 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,694 (shouting) 369 00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:30,364 I'll stop them. 370 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,328 Oh, no. It's coming back this way. 371 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,288 That throwing stick stunt of yours 372 00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:39,289 has boomeranged on us. 373 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,875 (panting) 374 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,213 Hey. We can get away in their pouches. 375 00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:51,051 Eew! It's not like in cartoons. 376 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:53,429 Yeah, there's a lot more mucus. 377 00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:00,269 Mom, you said I could have one souvenir, right? 378 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,021 Well, I want a didgeridoo. 379 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:05,607 (deep, bellowing sound) 380 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,276 (groans) 381 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,404 That seems very noisy and expensive for a souvenir. 382 00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:11,739 Hmm? 383 00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,490 Why don't you get this nice cap? 384 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,868 It's clever, just like you. 385 00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:18,746 Huh? Hmm? 386 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,873 Get out. Get out. 387 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,332 Shoo, shoo. 388 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:24,168 Get out of here. Ugh! 389 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,170 These bloody things are everywhere. 390 00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:27,546 They're in the lift, in the lorry, 391 00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:28,881 in the bond wizard, 392 00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,674 and all over the malanga gildachuck. 393 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,551 They're like kangaroos 394 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,928 but they're reptiles, they is. 395 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,598 We have them in America. They're called bullfrogs. 396 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:39,850 What?! That's an odd name. 397 00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:42,102 I'd have called them chaswassers. 398 00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:46,440 L-isa! 399 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:47,941 M-arge! 400 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,486 (shouting) 401 00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:59,286 Oh, the Simpsons. 402 00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:01,413 Well, they're not getting back in here. 403 00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:13,675 Oh. 404 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,554 I can't believe our government 405 00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,014 would set up Bart like that. 406 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,349 I must say, I'm very angry 407 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,517 at the State department right now. 408 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,102 Yes, but shh. 409 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:25,187 Mrs. Simpson, please. We're about to reach 410 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,230 a breakthrough with the Aussies. 411 00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:27,272 Then it's agreed. 412 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:28,565 During the bargaining session 413 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:29,942 we each get two candy apples. 414 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:32,319 All right. One candy and one caramel. 415 00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:33,821 Oh, for the love of criminy. 416 00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,322 Give me that. 417 00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:37,533 I know Bart did something wrong, but he's my son 418 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:40,160 and I'm going to punish him myself. 419 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,412 Our countries may have their differences 420 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,164 but as human beings 421 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,584 I think we can all agree there's no substitute 422 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,420 for the discipline of a loving parent. 423 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,632 He wants to talk to you. 424 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,050 Y-ello. 425 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,051 Mm-hmm. 426 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,594 So we're in agreement. 427 00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:58,595 She won't be allowed near the phone again. 428 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,224 We did it. 429 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:03,600 We've worked out a compromise 430 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:06,103 that will allow both nations to save face. 431 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:08,313 We've argued them down to a booting. 432 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:09,523 ALL: What?! 433 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:10,774 The prime minister just wants 434 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,943 to kick you once through the gate 435 00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,028 with a regular shoe. 436 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,071 I believe it's a wing-tip. 437 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,322 No deal. 438 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,408 This is my son we're talking about. 439 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:20,742 Sure, he's not perfect 440 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,578 but who is in this work-a-day world? 441 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:23,829 No, Mom. Wait. 442 00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,882 It's time for me to bend over 443 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,508 and receive my destiny. 444 00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,598 Thank you, Bart. 445 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:43,849 I promise I won't 446 00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:46,101 make fun of you later for this. 447 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,853 Show them what American butts 448 00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,146 are made of, son. 449 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,360 That's it, lad. 450 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:58,739 This is for the commonwealth of Australia. 451 00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:09,625 And this is for the United States of America. 452 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,961 ♪♪ (humming "The Star-Spangled Banner") 453 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,591 (shouting) 454 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:26,975 I'm glad you're okay, honey, 455 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,560 but I wish you'd chosen a more tasteful way 456 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,020 to be patriotic. 457 00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:32,272 I'm impressed you were able to write so legibly 458 00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:33,523 on your own butt. 459 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:47,955 All right, mates. Let him have it! 460 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,665 (shouting) 461 00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:54,211 Hey, do we get to land on an aircraft carrier? 462 00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:57,631 No, sir. The closest vessel is the U.S.S. Walter Mondale. 463 00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:59,091 It's a laundry ship. 464 00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:00,759 They'll take you the rest of the way. 465 00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:02,552 (croaking) 466 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,232 Hey, look. 467 00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:17,359 Those frogs are eating all their crops. 468 00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:19,319 (laughing) 469 00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:24,408 Well, that's what happens 470 00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:25,993 when you introduce foreign species 471 00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:28,370 into an ecosystem that can't handle them. 472 00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:30,330 (laughing) 473 00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:43,844 ♪♪ 474 00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:28,263 (didgeridoo buzzes) 475 00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:34,311 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.