1 00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,422 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:11,177 (bell ringing) 3 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:12,262 (tires screeching) 4 00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:15,974 D'oh! 5 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:18,059 -Aah! -(tires screeching) 6 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:37,829 Welcome to the 6:00 news in our brand-new studio. 7 00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:39,664 Looking good, Springfield. 8 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:43,001 (crowd shouting) 9 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,836 In today's news, a two-ton rhino 10 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,796 escaped from the Springfield Zoo, 11 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,923 but zoo officials were quick to act, 12 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:51,843 and Petunia, as she is known, is safely back in captivity. 13 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,222 In other news, a three-ton rhino 14 00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:57,265 that escaped from the zoo last week 15 00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:58,516 is still at large. 16 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,687 MARGE: All right, who broke my vase? 17 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,064 LISA: Who took my test papers 18 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,899 off the refrigerator and tore them up? 19 00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:07,484 Who spread garbage all over Flanders' yard 20 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,027 before I got a chance to? 21 00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:11,613 Oh, please. This is senseless destruction 22 00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:13,948 with none of my usual social commentary. 23 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,201 (growls) 24 00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,244 If it wasn't you, then who was it? 25 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,205 (growls) 26 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,624 Well, I'm sure these things didn't destroy themselves, 27 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:23,833 now, did they? 28 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,418 Did they? 29 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:27,378 (growls) 30 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,299 Hmm, I guess Bart's not to blame. 31 00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:34,052 He's lucky, too, because it's spanking season 32 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,971 and I got a hankering for some spankering. 33 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,932 (barks) 34 00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:41,267 I don't know why you're so energetic today, boy, 35 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,728 but prepare to be worn out. 36 00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:46,689 (barks) 37 00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:49,901 What's wrong, boy? 38 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,277 Getting tired? 39 00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,238 (both laughing) 40 00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:54,948 (panting playfully) 41 00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:56,074 (barking) 42 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:06,876 I think there's really something wrong 43 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,336 with Santa's Little Helper. 44 00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,338 He was up barking all night 45 00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:13,341 and dug up the back yard worse than ever. 46 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:14,759 LISA: My bongo drums! 47 00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,719 BART: My strobe light! 48 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,472 HOMER: My best of Ray Stevens featuring "The Streak" Album. 49 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,433 So it was the dog that buried all our stuff. 50 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,519 Yes. The dog. 51 00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:27,605 Oh, my God! 52 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,150 He's got the precious cable TV cable! 53 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,781 MAN (on TV): Always use fresh macaroni. 54 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,492 If the box rattles, throw it away. 55 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,912 CHIEF WIGGUM: Aw. 56 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,915 ANNOUNCER: Your cable TV is experiencing difficulties. 57 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,750 Please do not panic. 58 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,879 Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. 59 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,964 Do not attempt sexual relations, 60 00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:54,591 as years of TV radiation 61 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:57,635 have left your genitals withered and useless. 62 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,053 Well, I'll be damned. 63 00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:07,353 Excuse me. We're having a problem with our dog. 64 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,064 Lady, I'll tell you what I'm telling everyone else: 65 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,774 I'm sorry if your dog went blind 66 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,277 but your gripe is with Hartz Mountain, not with me. 67 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,363 No! No, our dog is out of control. 68 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,115 He's wild, destructive 69 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,576 and has little or no respect for authority. 70 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:25,038 Hmm. Let me try a canine-human mind meld. 71 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,290 It's an incredibly rare psychic power 72 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,875 possessed only by me 73 00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,502 and three other clerks at this store. 74 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:32,503 Okay. 75 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:33,963 (barks) 76 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,133 (moans) 77 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,010 I'm bored. 78 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,929 I'm restless. 79 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:43,014 Need change in life. 80 00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:44,057 (barks) 81 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:46,309 Like imported leather leash... 82 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,310 (barks) 83 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:48,811 Blue contact lenses... 84 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:49,896 (barks) 85 00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:52,273 200-volt shock training collar. 86 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:55,151 Well, problem solved. 87 00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:58,780 Homer, hold on to the wheel! 88 00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,490 You've got it. 89 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,368 Hey! 90 00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:09,624 Don't worry. We'll catch him or run him over trying. 91 00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:11,709 Look, he's headed back to the greyhound racing track 92 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,670 -where we found him. -Don't worry, 93 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,463 As soon as they find out he doesn't have any money, 94 00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:16,547 they'll throw him out. 95 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,675 Believe me, I know. 96 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,183 Ooh, this place is so big. 97 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,559 Do you think we should split up 98 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:29,936 and look for him, Homie? 99 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:31,020 Homie? 100 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,523 Two bucks to win on number eight. 101 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:37,694 (sobbing) And have you seen my beloved dog? 102 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,237 Give me the ticket. 103 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,030 We can't lose! 104 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,157 Look at the name of the dog I bet on. 105 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,243 "She's The Fastest." 106 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,495 Homer, I don't think that means necessarily... 107 00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,455 ANNOUNCER: And they're off! 108 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:50,873 She's The Fastest jumps out to an insurmountable lead. 109 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,875 You're lucky you got looks, Marge. 110 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,545 As they round the far turn, it's She's The Fastest 111 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:58,464 followed by Always Comes in Second and I'm Number Three. 112 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,425 Yes! Come on, you little horse. 113 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:02,218 And they're in the home stretch. 114 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,512 It's... Wait! Another dog is on the track! 115 00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:06,306 It's Santa's Little Helper! 116 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,766 The mystery dog is gaining fast on the outside. 117 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,268 Of course, he could never win this race-- 118 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,602 Or could he? 119 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,739 What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? 120 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,032 Uh-oh. 121 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,742 Looks like he's trying to jump over her 122 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,410 but he can't quite make it. 123 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,746 C'mon boy, you can do it! 124 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,080 Ladies and gentlemen, this is the end-- 125 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,624 This is the end of dog racing. 126 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:35,460 -Boo! -Boo! 127 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,295 I think they're in love. 128 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:38,755 CROWD: Aww! 129 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:47,472 Aw! So that's what's been wrong with the little fella. 130 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:50,266 He misses casual sex. 131 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,185 Can we keep Santa's girlfriend, Mom? 132 00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,311 Please? 133 00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:54,562 But she's not our dog. 134 00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:57,190 She's yours now. 135 00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:59,233 Once they fall in love, they lose their racing spirit. 136 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:02,111 Won't you miss her loyalty and companionship? 137 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:06,032 (guffawing) 138 00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:09,035 Lady, you're all right. 139 00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:14,123 Okay, you can go out and play 140 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:17,668 but no more you-know-what in front of the house, all right? 141 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,421 -(dogs panting) -Hey! What did I just say? 142 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:46,197 (laughing) 143 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,206 Take it. It fell on the floor. 144 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,633 (growling and snarling) 145 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,516 Hey, boy, you want to play fetch? 146 00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:18,438 Oh! Me and Santa's Little Helper used to be a team, 147 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,148 but he never wants to play anymore 148 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,649 since his bitch moved in. 149 00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,484 Bart, don't ever say that word again! 150 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,653 Well, that's what she is! I looked it up. 151 00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,156 Well, I'm going to write the dictionary people 152 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,365 and have that checked. 153 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,409 It feels like a mistake to me. 154 00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:32,577 Hey, look! 155 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,787 A really small dog 156 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,289 just fell out of Santa's girlfriend! 157 00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:38,374 Oh, my God! She's having babies! 158 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,668 Oh, I'm sorry, girl. 159 00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,420 I thought you were just getting fat. 160 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:45,882 -Look! It's twins! -No, it's two sets of twins. 161 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,425 Two sets of twins and a triplet. 162 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,218 Homer! Homer, find a place 163 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,928 for all these little miracles. 164 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,268 (puppies whining) 165 00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:06,736 MARGE: Oh, my! 166 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,071 I've never seen anything like this. 167 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,656 LISA: How many more can there be? 168 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,159 ALL: Twenty-two... 169 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,161 Twenty-three... 170 00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:17,205 Twenty-four... 171 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,047 Twenty-five! 172 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:34,597 (grunts) 173 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:40,102 Wow! 25 puppies! 174 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,313 (mews) 175 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:46,442 An army of dogs! 176 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,945 No bully will ever touch me again. 177 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,657 Hey, jerkface. 178 00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,617 You have the face of a jerk. 179 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:55,868 (grunts) 180 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,411 All right Simpson, 181 00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:58,996 -you asked for it. -Get him, boys. 182 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:03,501 (whimpering) 183 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:05,294 Heh. 184 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,422 Say, Jimbo, hope I wasn't out of line 185 00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:10,174 with that "jerkface" crack. 186 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,217 (grunts) 187 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:33,447 Oh, Homie, aren't they adorable? 188 00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,116 Yes. 189 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,785 We've waited many years, but the good Lord 190 00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:41,330 has finally blessed us with a real family. 191 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,842 (Marge laughing) 192 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:56,095 Look at Branford II. Isn't that cute? 193 00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:58,389 He thinks he's one of the Models, Inc. 194 00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:01,767 (all laughing) 195 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,186 HOMER: Get that cat out of the way! 196 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,359 (growling) 197 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,736 Ah! My socks! 198 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,997 Mom, why do I have to wear a flea collar? 199 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,624 It's just easier this way. 200 00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:28,878 Ah... 201 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,004 D'oh! 202 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,339 Ah... 203 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:32,423 D'oh! 204 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:33,424 Ah... 205 00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:34,634 D'oh! 206 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,676 Mm... 207 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:36,719 D'oh! 208 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:37,720 Ah... 209 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:38,721 D'oh! 210 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:39,722 Ooh... 211 00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:40,723 D'oh! 212 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:41,766 This time... 213 00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:42,767 D'oh! 214 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:43,893 Ah... D'oh! 215 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:46,687 Yeesh. 216 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,397 This house stinks. 217 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,815 You're not just putting the new newspapers 218 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,359 over the old ones, are you? 219 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:54,195 Do you have a better idea? 220 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,821 Now, I know 221 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,907 we love the puppies very much, 222 00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:00,409 but I think they're getting to be a problem. 223 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,411 Yeah, they ate all my socks. 224 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,080 I have to wear Lisa's to school today. 225 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,831 How do you explain the culottes, boy? 226 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,500 Well, I have to coordinate, don't I? 227 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:08,626 Your mother and I have been thinking 228 00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:10,002 about giving the puppies away. 229 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,546 -TOGETHER: No! -Mainly your mother. 230 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,090 Is that what we do in this family? 231 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,716 When someone becomes an inconvenience, 232 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,843 we just get rid of them? 233 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,140 Hello? 234 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,642 Is anybody there? 235 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,563 Aw... 236 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,941 All right, we'll give the dogs one more chance. 237 00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,777 As long as the puppies don't do anything else wrong, 238 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,946 they stay. 239 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,739 On a completely unrelated topic 240 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,784 I'm having a very, very important dinner party tonight. 241 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,120 Splendid. Who's coming? 242 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,956 Reverend Lovejoy, your old Army drill sergeant, 243 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,750 and the regional director of the I.R.S. 244 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,338 Oh, just lovely, Marge. 245 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,757 The whole town will hear what a perfect evening this was. 246 00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,968 How nothing at all went wrong. 247 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,512 Simpson, this evening has gone so flawlessly, 248 00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,889 I'm gonna forget that 249 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,725 you were mistakenly let out of the army a month early. 250 00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,101 I'm so impressed by this problem-free evening 251 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:09,437 that there's no need for that audit. 252 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,314 ALL: A toast to the Simpsons. 253 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,400 And to the delectable turkey... 254 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,527 That's walking around the table?! 255 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:19,321 Dear Lord, it's a demon bird! 256 00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:22,616 (retching) 257 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:30,833 Simpson, see you at reveille 0500 tomorrow. 258 00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,960 See you at the I.R.S. 259 00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,754 See you in hell. 260 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,130 From heaven. 261 00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,512 Well, we sure could use 262 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,931 a pooch to guard the flock at the Flanderosa. 263 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,975 It would be nice to have some companionship 264 00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:49,643 when Mother goes out on dates. 265 00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,146 We could use a new pet over at the home, 266 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:55,649 seeing how we accidently killed that smart-mouthed bird. 267 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,318 (whimpering) 268 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,032 They don't like being broken up. 269 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,242 We've got to be realistic, kids. 270 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,827 Who's going to have a big enough heart 271 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,288 to take care of 25 puppies? 272 00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:13,250 (chuckling) And I know the little fellows will love romping around 273 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:16,045 my many acres, chasing my many cars, 274 00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,338 drinking from my many toilets. 275 00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:18,923 Who wouldn't? 276 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,966 Mom, don't give the puppies to him. 277 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,344 He'll be mean to them. 278 00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:24,929 She's right, Homer. 279 00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:27,598 There's something about his face I don't trust. 280 00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:30,351 (evil laughter) 281 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,772 Uh... I'm sorry, Mr. Burns, 282 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,733 but you can't have these dogs. 283 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,151 Am I fired? 284 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,487 Hmm? Oh, of course not. 285 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,697 They're your pets. You can do as you wish. 286 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,074 Good day, everyone. 287 00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:49,912 My, he certainly took that well. 288 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:51,956 A little too well, if you ask me. 289 00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,583 I'm sure he's plotting some brilliant scheme 290 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,960 to get those puppies. 291 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,879 There you go. 292 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,340 There you go. You, too. 293 00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:02,883 Honestly, sir, you just don't put the effort 294 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,052 into your schemes that you used to. 295 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:12,935 (humming) 296 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,190 Er, uh, don't worry, folks. 297 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,608 We'll find your wallet. 298 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,110 Dogs! 299 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,403 Chief, you're getting powdered sugar 300 00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:23,988 all over my floor. 301 00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:25,406 No, I'm not. No, I'm not. 302 00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:28,325 I'm, uh... dusting for prints. 303 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:29,743 Oh. 304 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,120 We don't have to wait for the cops. 305 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,371 Who can track the puppies better 306 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:33,956 than their own mom and dad? 307 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,791 LISA: Let's go find your babies. 308 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:40,004 Dinner's on, dogs! 309 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,133 I'm sorry, kids. 310 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:46,552 I don't think we're ever going to find your greyhounds. 311 00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:50,806 Maybe Mr. Burns will sell you one of the 25 he got last night. 312 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:54,852 (thunderclap) 313 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,778 (dogs barking) 314 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,531 Who knows what horrible things he's doing 315 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,366 to those innocent little puppies? 316 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,917 (laughing) 317 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,793 Oh, there. 318 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,503 Now, wasn't that heavenly? 319 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,464 Don't you feel better too? 320 00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,007 (all yapping) 321 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,051 He's giving them a bath. 322 00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:28,469 There you are. 323 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,596 There you go, little fella. 324 00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,056 And you. 325 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:35,976 (gasping) 326 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:36,977 Smithers, look. 327 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,355 He's standing up. 328 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,981 I've never seen anything so adorable. 329 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,108 You know who it reminds me of? 330 00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:44,109 -Benji? -No. 331 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,236 -Lassie? -No, no, no. 332 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,947 A person. You know who I mean. 333 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,740 Snoop Doggy Dog? Bob Barker? 334 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,367 David Brenner? 335 00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:55,329 No. No. The person who's always standing and walking. 336 00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:56,413 Rory Calhoun? 337 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,457 That's it. 338 00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,292 You stay with me. 339 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,586 You're the pick of the litter. 340 00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:08,175 Maybe we were wrong about Burns on this one. 341 00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,806 Are you sure you want to go through with this, sir? 342 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:16,725 You do have a very full wardrobe as it is. 343 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,354 Yes... but not completely full. 344 00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:21,772 For you see... 345 00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:24,984 ♪ Some men hunt for sport ♪ 346 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,319 ♪ Others hunt for food ♪ 347 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:32,908 ♪ The only thing I'm hunting for ♪ 348 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:38,497 ♪ Is an outfit that looks good ♪ 349 00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:45,295 ♪ See my... vest ♪ 350 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:46,964 ♪ See my vest made from real ♪ 351 00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:48,090 ♪ Gorilla chest ♪ 352 00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:50,175 ♪ Feel this sweater ♪ 353 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,302 ♪ There's no better than authentic Irish Setter ♪ 354 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,179 ♪ See this hat, t'was my cat ♪ 355 00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,515 ♪ My evening wear, vampire bat ♪ 356 00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:58,392 ♪ These white slippers ♪ 357 00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:00,352 ♪ Are albino African endangered rhino ♪ 358 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,354 ♪ Grizzly bear underwear ♪ 359 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,398 ♪ Turtles' necks, I've got my share ♪ 360 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:08,193 ♪ Beret of poodle, on my noodle, it shall rest ♪ 361 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,029 ♪ Try my red robin suit ♪ 362 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,448 ♪ It comes one breast or two ♪ 363 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,449 ♪ See my vest ♪ 364 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,742 ♪ See my vest ♪ 365 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,785 ♪ See my vest ♪ 366 00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:22,583 ♪ Like my... ♪ 367 00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:25,044 ♪ Loafers, former gophers ♪ 368 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,337 ♪ It was that or skin my chauffeurs ♪ 369 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:30,924 ♪ But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best ♪ 370 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,760 ♪ So let's prepare these dogs... ♪ 371 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,344 ♪ Kill two for matching clogs ♪ 372 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:36,013 ♪ See my vest ♪ 373 00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,890 ♪ See my vest ♪ 374 00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:44,563 ♪ Oh, please, won't you see my vest ♪ 375 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,900 -I really like the vest. -I gathered. Yeah. 376 00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:51,195 (gasps) He's going to make a tuxedo out of our puppies. 377 00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:53,363 (humming "See my vest") 378 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,656 Bart! 379 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,241 Sorry. You got to admit, it's catchy. 380 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:57,826 Come on, Smithers. 381 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,953 Let's go finish the little flea circuses off 382 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,956 except for "Little Monty," of course. 383 00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:07,795 We got to get the dogs out of there. 384 00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:10,798 (yapping and barking) 385 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,591 -Shh! -Hush, puppies! 386 00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:14,176 We got to get you out of here. 387 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,350 (gasping) 388 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,268 I know. The window. 389 00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,354 No, Bart! What are you doing? 390 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:26,563 Dogs always land on their feet. 391 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:27,940 That's cats. 392 00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,316 No. It's dogs. I'll prove it. 393 00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:35,239 -Best two out of three. -(latch rattling) 394 00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,449 -(gasping) -Bart, look. 395 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,952 A laundry chute. 396 00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:41,036 Okay, guys. Let's move. 397 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,547 -Come on. Come on. -(whimpers) 398 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:52,589 I got an idea. 399 00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:01,807 Hmm? 400 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,184 Sorry, Monty 401 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,395 but you're too big for this ride. 402 00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:07,729 (chuckles) 403 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:12,401 (yelling) 404 00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:13,569 (grunting) 405 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:14,945 -Quick! -Let's get the-- 406 00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:16,405 Going somewhere? 407 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:17,656 That's impossible. 408 00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:19,366 How did you get here first? 409 00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,827 Oh, there'll be plenty of time for explanations later. 410 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:24,913 Right now, I'll be taking my puppies back. 411 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,165 But they're ours. 412 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:27,666 You stole them from us. 413 00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:29,585 Here's a phone. 414 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:30,919 Call somebody who cares. 415 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:34,548 Now, if you'll excuse us, children, 416 00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:39,011 the pups have a date with a fashion knife. 417 00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:42,639 There. Now you don't know which one's little Monty. 418 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,766 I guess if you don't want him to be part of your tuxedo, 419 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,477 you have to let the other dogs go, too. 420 00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:48,478 Nice try. 421 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,189 Come on, Little Monty. 422 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,441 -Stand up. -(gulping) 423 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:53,650 Come on. Stand up. 424 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,152 Do your trick. 425 00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:56,653 -No. Don't. -No. 426 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:57,946 -Stay down, Little Monty. -Stay down. 427 00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,239 -Don't get up. -Stay down, boy. 428 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:00,824 (gasps) 429 00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,534 Excellent. 430 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:05,662 Huh? Uh... Uh... Hmm. 431 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:08,999 (gasps) 432 00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:11,251 Now, it's-- (groans) 433 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,087 ...simply a matter of bending down 434 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:16,715 and picking up the one and only... 435 00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:18,050 (sputtering) 436 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,677 This can't be happening. 437 00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,262 They're all standing. 438 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:24,681 I can't tell them apart. 439 00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,017 Well, all right, you win. 440 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,187 -I'll have to kill them all. -No! 441 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,067 But they're so wretchedly adorable. 442 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,653 25 little Rory Calhouns. 443 00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:39,863 I can't do it... 444 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:42,115 -But I can kill you. -(gun cocks) 445 00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,283 (whimpers) 446 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,536 No. I can't kill you either. 447 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:47,829 Look at you. 448 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:51,083 Standing there on your hind legs 449 00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:53,627 like a couple of Rory Calhouns. 450 00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:56,004 (sighs) 451 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,006 Well, Mr. Burns, I hope you've realized the folly 452 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,092 of killing innocent animals for fashion. 453 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,135 Oh, I have, I have! 454 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,428 I swear I'll never wear 455 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:04,930 any clothing made from an animal-- 456 00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:07,724 (quietly) ...that can do an amusing trick. 457 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:11,311 Another victory for Montgomery Burns's champion greyhound. 458 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,939 25 dogs, 25 world champions, 459 00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:15,232 which, so far, have earned their owner 460 00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:17,693 over ten million dollars. 461 00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,112 I'll bet whoever gave him those dogs is kicking themselves now. 462 00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:23,031 (wood creaking) 463 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,534 Homer! For the love of God, no! 464 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:30,247 (straining) Marge, you know that batting this light bulb 465 00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:31,873 is the only thing that cheers me up 466 00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:35,127 after giving away those million-dollar greyhounds. 467 00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:36,837 D'oh! Ugh! 468 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:37,796 (body thuds) 469 00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:45,512 ♪♪ 470 00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:29,765 Shh! 471 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:36,271 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.