1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,131 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,760 (bell ringing) 3 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:15,348 D'oh! 4 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,684 -Ahh! -(tires screech) 5 00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,996 -(metal scraping) -(rattling) 6 00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,164 (laughing) 7 00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:43,626 This bus has seen better days. 8 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,587 Well, at least it's safer than the old bus. 9 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,510 Uh-oh. Time to move. 10 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,304 The hole's getting bigger. 11 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:57,766 (crash) 12 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,936 Seymour, the children are playing in the hole again. 13 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,813 Shouldn't you get that fixed? 14 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,732 Edna, you know they just cut the school's budget. 15 00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,025 Besides, if I had the money, 16 00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:08,735 I'd fix the exhaust leak in the back. 17 00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,237 Frankly, I think it's causing some of our low test scores. 18 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,823 (coughing) 19 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:20,413 All right. The battlefield is just a half mile ahead. 20 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,623 Begin braking procedure! 21 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:32,008 This civil war cannon has been fully restored 22 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,177 and is in ready-to-fire condition, 23 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,763 but it's good thing we're not firing it. 24 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:38,890 Because it happens to be aimed 25 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:41,893 at the main support leg of that lookout tower. 26 00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:43,311 People don't realize 27 00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:45,688 that cannons are very sensitive, 28 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,358 and the slightest jolt could set them off. 29 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:49,734 (tires screeching) 30 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,571 Of course, for safety reasons, 31 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,907 we don't keep the cannon loaded. 32 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,492 It's just common sense. 33 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:02,205 Otto, why don't you get some more gas? 34 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,916 Here's the credit card. 35 00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,251 Ooh. 36 00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:07,752 And a mint for afterwards. 37 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:09,212 Five dollars a child?! 38 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,214 Last year it was free. 39 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:12,799 Hmph. New ownership. 40 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,597 But we don't have that kind of money. 41 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,474 In fact, no school could afford the-- 42 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:32,152 Here's the admission, plus something for you. 43 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,946 See that they get a little extra education, would you? 44 00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:36,990 Yes, sir, Principal Valiant. 45 00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:40,034 He thinks he's so hot ever since he swept the Princi awards. 46 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,078 Those things are rigged. 47 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,915 NARRATOR: On May 21, 1864, 48 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,334 the men of the Ninth Bearded infantry 49 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:52,255 were sunning and fluffing their beards in the sun. 50 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:56,009 Suddenly, enemy troops crested that hill over there. 51 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:58,928 Fort Springfield, we surrender unconditionally! 52 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,639 We're sick! We need leeches! 53 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,350 And hacksaws to saw off our gangrenous limbs! 54 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,144 But the Springfield brigade 55 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:08,646 was too brave to accept the surrender. 56 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,064 Come on, boys. 57 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:12,025 Those white flags are no match for our muskets! 58 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,860 Charge! 59 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:16,946 NARRATOR: And the Springfielders heroically slaughtered 60 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,866 their enemies as they prayed for mercy. 61 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,745 (cheering) 62 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:25,288 BART: It's hard to see what's going on. 63 00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,498 I can only make out the fat soldiers. 64 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:28,833 All right, children, switch. 65 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,631 Hey, they're trying to learn for free! 66 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:35,673 Get them! 67 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,759 Use your phony guns as clubs! 68 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,093 Run, children! 69 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,428 (children screaming) 70 00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:43,640 Start the bus, Otto! Start the bus! 71 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,642 (coughing) Damn. 72 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,561 I shouldn't have eaten the mint first. 73 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,564 Okay. Hop on. 74 00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,858 Wait! Wait! 75 00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:00,323 (gasping) 76 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:06,120 Well, Seymour, because of your penny-pinching, 77 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:07,956 we're coming back from a field trip 78 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,374 with the fewest children yet. 79 00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:13,253 God bless the man who invented permission slips. 80 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:16,422 Uh, I think I got your lunch. 81 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:20,718 Oh, yeah. I didn't think this was for me. 82 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,306 Seymour, the teachers are fed up. 83 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,934 You have to start putting money back into the school. 84 00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:29,769 You've cut back on everything-- 85 00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:31,813 salaries, supplies, the food. 86 00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:35,733 I don't care what you say, I can taste the newspaper. 87 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,068 Posh. Shredded newspapers 88 00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:39,737 add much-needed roughage and essential inks. 89 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,407 Besides, you didn't notice the old gym mats. 90 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:45,368 There's very little meat in these gym mats. 91 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,370 Our demands are very reasonable. 92 00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:49,163 By ignoring them, 93 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,082 you're selling out these children's futures. 94 00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:52,417 Oh, come on, Edna! 95 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,252 We both know these children have no future. 96 00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:00,091 (nervous laughter) Prove me wrong, kids. 97 00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:02,468 Prove me wrong. 98 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:06,180 I've never seen them fight like that, Bart. 99 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,349 I'm worried that all this posturing and saber rattling 100 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,892 could lead to a teachers' strike. 101 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:10,935 Strike, eh? 102 00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:13,062 (cracking) Ow! 103 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,064 My bones are so brittle. 104 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,567 But I always drink plenty of... 105 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,361 "malk"? 106 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:23,364 How do you expect us to teach with these supplies? 107 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,658 This pointer's so old, it's worn down to a nub. 108 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,244 It still points, doesn't it? 109 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,871 Stop that! 110 00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:32,040 And look at this. The only books we have 111 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,208 are ones that were banned by other schools. 112 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,545 Well, the kids have to learn 113 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,839 about "Tek War" sooner or later. 114 00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:42,425 Go away, Bart, this is not a good time. 115 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,260 I saw you two fighting. 116 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,386 I'm worried there could be a strike 117 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,055 and the school would shut down. 118 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,640 (scoffs) I'm sure you'd really hate that. 119 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,517 There's not going to be a strike, Bart. 120 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,228 Yeah. Skinner says you wouldn't have 121 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,563 the won tons to go through with it. 122 00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:56,856 (gasps) Skinner said that? 123 00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,816 Well, I had to clean it up a little. 124 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,443 But basically, Krabappel said 125 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:03,237 you'd give the teachers everything they want. 126 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,365 -She did? -Yeah. She said 127 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:07,492 you'd fold faster than Superman on laundry day. 128 00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:10,036 We'll see about that. 129 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:12,038 Simpson, I always thought you were 130 00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:13,081 sneaky and manipulative. 131 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,916 But now I see 132 00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:17,210 you're really a very sensitive little boy. 133 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:20,213 -Thank you, sir. -Aw. 134 00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,589 Seymour, you're being totally unfair, 135 00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:23,633 and the teachers won't stand for it. 136 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:27,095 Teachers, you don't have the guts to strike! 137 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:30,681 You don't have the guts to take us all on! 138 00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:33,184 (clucking) 139 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,355 -That's it! -Stee-rike! 140 00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:39,690 -(sounds of struggle) -(microphone feedback) 141 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,317 SKINNER (on PA): Attention. 142 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,528 This is an emergency broadcast. 143 00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:45,905 All is well in the school. 144 00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:48,533 My authority as principal is total-- 145 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:50,993 Hey, give me that! 146 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,789 MRS. KRABAPPEL: Attention, teachers. We're on strike. Ha! 147 00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:55,790 (children murmuring) 148 00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,708 Oh, no. A strike? 149 00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,335 Miss Hoover, are you on-- 150 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,003 (tires screeching) 151 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,380 HOOVER: Go home, children! 152 00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:05,383 Hello? 153 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:09,554 Mrs. Pommelhorst? 154 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,764 I'd like to get down now. 155 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:14,767 ♪♪ ("My Country 'Tis Of Thee") 156 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,439 Hey, now that Largo's gone, 157 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,066 we can play the forbidden music. 158 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,027 ♪♪ ("Pop Goes The Weasel") 159 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,406 I heard that! 160 00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:35,538 (cheering) 161 00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,249 (humming) 162 00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,794 Bart, Lisa, what are you two doing home so early? 163 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,421 Great news, Mom! 164 00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:44,797 Horrible news, Mom! 165 00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,299 The school's on strike! 166 00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:47,842 Maybe forever! 167 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:50,219 Oh! Overload! Pleasure overload! 168 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,306 Luckily, I've prepared for this, 169 00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:54,849 so I'm not too worried. 170 00:07:58,519 --> 00:07:59,770 (school bell ringing) 171 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,856 WOMAN: Sit up straight. Eyes forward. 172 00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,232 No talking. 173 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,276 Is that gum? Is that gum? 174 00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:06,652 Is that gum? 175 00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:09,030 Oh, yeah. Phew! 176 00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:11,574 Bart, leave that crowbar here. 177 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,910 You know I don't like you prying and jimmying. 178 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,078 Mom! Dad! Great news! The teachers-- 179 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,371 We heard. 180 00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:19,624 And we already hired a tutor. 181 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,501 Well, looks like we'll be staying late today 182 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,920 to make up for all this dillydallying. 183 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:24,962 Oh! 184 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,469 (children shouting) 185 00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:32,970 (tires squealing) 186 00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:38,059 Awesome. 187 00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,312 You, with the crane! 188 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:42,438 Spin around real fast! 189 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:47,735 -(crash) -(man screaming) 190 00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:49,111 Now you! 191 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,405 Dump three tons of sand onto that Porta-Potty. 192 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,785 (grunts) 193 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:58,496 (Bart's voice) Hey! Can't you tell my voice 194 00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:00,331 from a ten-year-old kid's? (groans) 195 00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:01,707 Ay, caramba! 196 00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:10,341 (coins rattling) 197 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,141 Hey, that little boy 198 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,518 is playing three games at once. 199 00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,728 -ALL: Checkmate. -Dang. 200 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,398 (noisy eating) 201 00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,900 Lousy teachers trying to palm off our kids on us. 202 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,402 But, Dad, by striking, 203 00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:30,861 they're trying to effect a change in management 204 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:33,823 so they can be happier and more productive. 205 00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:37,201 Lisa! If you don't like your job, you don't strike. 206 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:40,788 You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. 207 00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,873 That's the American way. 208 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:45,876 I've got some textbooks, but without state-approved syllabi 209 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,505 and standardized testing, my education can only go so far. 210 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,591 Honey, maybe you should relax a little. 211 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,384 Relax?! I can't relax! 212 00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,678 Nor can I yield, relent or... 213 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,179 (squeals) 214 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,473 only two synonyms?! 215 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:00,975 Oh, my God! 216 00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:03,311 I'm losing my perspicacity! 217 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,271 (screams) 218 00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,398 Well, it's always in the last place you look. 219 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,113 LISA: So, if we were in school this week, 220 00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:16,449 what do you think we'd be learning? 221 00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:17,992 Get away from me. 222 00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,453 -Good news, people! -(cheering) 223 00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:21,996 I'm happy to announce 224 00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:24,915 that another union has joined us in a sympathy strike-- 225 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,792 the Piano Tuners Local 412! 226 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,336 (murmuring) 227 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,925 Now, for operation strike-make-go-longer. 228 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,720 You know, I heard Skinner say 229 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,930 the teachers will crack any minute. 230 00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:44,226 (whispering) 231 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,020 Skinner said the teachers will crack 232 00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:47,063 any minute purple monkey dishwasher. 233 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,023 Well! We'll show him-- 234 00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:51,442 especially for that purple monkey dishwasher remark. 235 00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:54,570 (all exclaiming) 236 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,198 Seymour, you are truly incompetent. 237 00:10:57,281 --> 00:10:58,991 Well, I hardly think it's fair to-- 238 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:02,119 Dummy up, you! Listen to those passing motorists 239 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,496 who support the teachers. 240 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:06,374 (honking) 241 00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:10,127 15 minute recess, Milhouse. 242 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:12,963 The recess assignment is chapters three through seven. 243 00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,966 Yay! Recess! 244 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,260 Milhouse, I found a hive of killer bees. 245 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,054 You want to go throw rocks at it? 246 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:23,808 Sorry, Bart. I'm deeply immersed in the Teapot Dome scandal. 247 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,267 -Huh? -However, 248 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,353 it might be feasible in a fortnight. 249 00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,313 -Wha-- -I can play in two weeks. 250 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:30,314 Juh? 251 00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:33,693 (sniffles) 252 00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,653 I just can't believe 253 00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:37,905 Stark would stoop to that, 254 00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:39,281 and right in the middle 255 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,618 of Montana and Dakota's wedding. 256 00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:46,706 All this free time. I never thought 257 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,291 I'd get sick of "Razor Fight II: The Slashening." 258 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,293 I probably should stop. My doctor says 259 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,087 I have the wrists of an 80-year-old. 260 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,675 (wicked laugh) 261 00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,802 What do you mean, the bank is out of money?! 262 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,554 Insolvent! 263 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:04,306 You only have enough cash for the next three customers?! 264 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,600 (angry yelling) 265 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,603 (imitating Jimmy Stewart) W-Wait a minute! 266 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,397 J-J-Just a second here! 267 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,899 No, no. I don't have your money here. 268 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:17,820 It's in Bill's house a-a-and Fred's house. 269 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:20,489 What the hell you doing with my money in your house, Fred? 270 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,615 (grunting) 271 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:24,285 (angry shouting) 272 00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:26,620 (evil laugh) 273 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,038 (Lisa panting) 274 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,082 Grade me! Look at me! 275 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,709 Evaluate and rank me! 276 00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:34,879 Oh! I'm good, good, good, and oh, so smart! 277 00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:36,630 Grade me! 278 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,966 (groaning) 279 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,718 (relieved sigh) 280 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:43,053 (contented cooing) 281 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,724 I'm worried about the kids, Homie. 282 00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,143 Lisa's becoming very obsessive. 283 00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:52,772 This morning I caught her trying to dissect her own raincoat. 284 00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:55,483 (blows raspberry) I know. 285 00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,193 And this perpetual motion machine 286 00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:58,903 she made today is a joke. 287 00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:01,489 It just keeps going faster and faster. 288 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,824 Bart isn't doing very well either. 289 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,076 He needs boundaries and structure. 290 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,996 There's something about flying a kite at night 291 00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:10,581 that's so unwholesome. 292 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:13,709 (spooky voice) Hello, Mother dear. 293 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:14,960 Oh, that's it! 294 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,796 We have to get them back to school. 295 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,507 I'm with you, Marge. Lisa, get in here! 296 00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:24,345 In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics! 297 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,432 NED: All right, I'd like to call this meeting 298 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:31,018 of the P.T.A. to or-diddly-order, 299 00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:33,479 and let's see if we can't put an end to this strike fuss, huh? 300 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:36,273 Mrs. Krabappel, why don't you begin? 301 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,900 SKINNER: Boo! 302 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,443 Oh, boo yourself. 303 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,403 Our demands are simple: A small cost-of-living increase 304 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:45,491 and some better equipment and supplies for your children! 305 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,910 -Oh, that's easy! -Give it to 'em! 306 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,203 (scoffs) Yeah, in a dream world. 307 00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:51,080 We have a very tight budget. 308 00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:54,041 To do what she's asking, we'd have to raise taxes. 309 00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:57,086 -Raise taxes? -They're too high as they are! 310 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,671 -I've had enough! -Taxes are bad! 311 00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,214 It's your children's future! 312 00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:02,299 -Oh, yeah! -Children! Yes! 313 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:03,425 I forgot. 314 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:04,677 It'll cost ya. 315 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,136 No to taxes! 316 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,305 They're gonna raise taxes! 317 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:09,723 Come on! 318 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,767 All right. That's a good point. 319 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,102 Oh, yeah. That sounds... 320 00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:15,729 -Oh, yeah! The taxes! -That means money. 321 00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:18,566 The finger thing means the taxes. 322 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:20,276 Well, I guess this is 323 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:22,778 a case where we'll have to agree to disagree. 324 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,738 -I don't agree to that. -Neither do I. 325 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,825 Oh, ho-ho! This is a dilly of a pickle. 326 00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:30,703 Oh, my God! The P.T.A. has disbanded! 327 00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,997 (gasping, screaming) 328 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,375 No, no! The P.T.A. has not disbanded. 329 00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:39,295 (yells) 330 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,005 We do have an emergency plan 331 00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:43,757 in case of a prolonged strike right here. 332 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,759 Let's see. 333 00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:49,471 "Replace teachers with super-intelligent cyborgs. 334 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,640 "Or, if cyborgs aren't invented yet, 335 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,183 use people from the neighborhood." 336 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,853 (indistinct chatter) 337 00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:58,689 Talkin' out of turn, that's a paddlin'. 338 00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:03,485 Lookin' out the window, that's a paddlin'. 339 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:07,489 Starin' at my sandals, that's a paddlin'. 340 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,241 Paddlin' the school canoe-- 341 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,994 Oh, you better believe that's a paddlin'. 342 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,913 Oh. 343 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,080 (mumbling) 344 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,332 All right. 345 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,500 So the compression and expansion 346 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,878 of the longitudinal waves 347 00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:22,671 cause the erratic oscillation-- 348 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,298 You can see it there-- 349 00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,091 of the neighboring particles. 350 00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:29,929 -Yes, what is it? What? -Can I play with it? 351 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,513 No, you can't play with it! 352 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,182 You won't enjoy it on as many levels as I do. 353 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,266 (babbling) 354 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:37,603 The colors, children. 355 00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:42,483 Okay. When I call your name, you say "present" or "here." 356 00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,068 No, say present. 357 00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:45,736 "Anita Bath..." 358 00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:47,738 (laughing) 359 00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:49,949 All right. Settle down. Anita Bath here? 360 00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,242 (laughing) 361 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,036 All right. Fine, fine. 362 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,788 Uh, "Maya Buttreeks." 363 00:15:55,871 --> 00:16:00,125 (laughing) 364 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,711 Hey, what are you laughing at? What? 365 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,213 Oh, oh, I get it. 366 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:05,923 I get it. 367 00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,258 It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? 368 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:09,802 Isn't it?! 369 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:13,222 Well, children, I can't help that! 370 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:14,390 (sobs) 371 00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:16,725 Ah! 372 00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,187 Wow, Bart! I'm impressed 373 00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:23,482 the way you knocked off all those substitutes. 374 00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:26,402 In my weaker moments, I almost pity them. 375 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:30,364 Then I just remind myself: They're trying to teach. 376 00:16:30,447 --> 00:16:31,615 Well, children, I don't know what you did 377 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,033 to all those substitutes, 378 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:36,829 but it's going to stop now! Leopold? 379 00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:40,499 All right. You listen up, you little freaks! 380 00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,334 The fun stops here. 381 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,253 You're gonna shut your stinking traps 382 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,963 and behave, damn it! 383 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,298 This is one substitute you're not gonna screw with! 384 00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,342 -(gulping) -Marge Simpson. 385 00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:54,054 Hello, class! 386 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:57,016 Hi, Bart! Over here, sweetie! 387 00:16:57,099 --> 00:17:00,394 It's me, Mom! Hi. Hey! Hello! 388 00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:02,563 (groans) 389 00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:09,653 Well, I'm sure some of you know me. 390 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:10,988 I'm Bart Simpson's mother. 391 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,614 (laughing) 392 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,702 Mom! 393 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,871 Hey, Bart, what about the booby trap? 394 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,080 (gasps) 395 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,711 -May I? -Thank you. 396 00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:27,796 -Mama's boy. -Teacher's pet. 397 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,882 Goody-goody. 398 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,425 I meant the other booby trap. 399 00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,218 (gasps) 400 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,807 Kids have been doing that one since my day. 401 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:43,937 So, how was everybody's day at school? 402 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,481 -Horrifying. -Pointless. 403 00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,858 Exhausting. It took the children 40 minutes 404 00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:49,735 to locate Canada on the map. 405 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:53,238 Marge, anyone can miss Canada all tucked away down there. 406 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,907 Well, my teacher's a nightmare. 407 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:57,159 Three kids got sick from inhaling his ointment fumes, 408 00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:59,411 he confiscated everything made of tin, 409 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:00,996 and then he sent us home early 410 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,040 because he got his beard caught in the pencil sharpener. 411 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,168 (growls) 412 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:08,337 Oh. Oh, um... okay. 413 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,172 Hmm... 414 00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:11,715 um, here. 415 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,175 (growls) 416 00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:14,927 Oh. Okay, uh... 417 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,512 let's see, um... 418 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,263 what if I did this? 419 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,099 (growls) 420 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,850 You're on your own. 421 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,727 (grumbling) 422 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,730 There's no way I'll get into an ivy league school now. 423 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:29,066 At this rate I probably won't even get into Vassar. 424 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:31,068 I've had just about enough 425 00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,278 of your Vassar bashing, young lady. 426 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:34,780 Look, Mom, 427 00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:36,907 it feels really weird having you on my turf. 428 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,368 How would you feel if I started mopping the floor? 429 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,370 -I'd be thrilled. You can start right now. -D'oh! 430 00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:43,580 And I'm gonna keep teaching your class-- 431 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,915 Like it or lump it. 432 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:47,084 Well, then, 433 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:50,921 I guess I'll just have to get into the crawl space again. 434 00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:52,965 I hate it when he gets in there. 435 00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:56,468 (grunting) 436 00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:03,517 -Psst. Over here. -Huh? 437 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,520 Mom, I need a dollar. 438 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:07,896 Ever since you started teaching here, 439 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,148 kids have been taking my lunch money. 440 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,692 And I need that money for candy. 441 00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,652 Aw, here you go, precious. 442 00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:16,864 Now go off with your friends. 443 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,907 Here you go, precious. 444 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,284 (grunts and groans) 445 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,163 Why isn't my mom stopping this? 446 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:26,582 We've created a diversion. 447 00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:30,085 That's a very nice jig, Kearney. 448 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,588 Now, isn't dancing much more fun than bullying? 449 00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:33,589 Yeah. 450 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:36,425 (groans) 451 00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:39,052 That's it. I can't take this anymore, Milhouse. 452 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:41,305 I got to get the real teachers back. 453 00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:45,184 Bart, you'll never get Krabappel and Skinner together again. 454 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:48,103 They're like two positively charged ions. 455 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,605 Zuh? 456 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,273 Wait! That's it. 457 00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:53,233 With your book smarts, and my ability 458 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:55,402 to exploit people with book smarts, 459 00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:58,363 we can figure out a clever plan to get them back together. 460 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:01,825 A surprise party for me in Principal Skinner's office? 461 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,494 Well, I don't know, but all right. 462 00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:06,622 Me? Go to my office? 463 00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:09,291 It's highly irregular, but all right. 464 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:10,834 (grunting) 465 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,002 And you're not coming out 466 00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:13,420 until you reach an agreement. 467 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:15,172 SKINNER: Let us out, Bart! 468 00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,216 KRABAPPEL: This is not funny, Bart! 469 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,634 SKINNER: Stop it, Bart. Let us out right now! 470 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:22,387 Don't worry. They'll start negotiating. 471 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:25,265 KRABAPPEL: Let us out! 472 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,059 SKINNER: For the love of God, let us out! 473 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,019 Man, this is like 'Nam! 474 00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,395 Let us out! 475 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,814 Come on, or you will be so sorry! 476 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,942 (Krabappel whimpering) 477 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,193 (shouting stops) 478 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:40,364 (shouting resumes) 479 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:43,909 SKINNER: You're going to be verrrrry, very sorry! 480 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:47,246 Well, Seymour, I guess we could start talking. 481 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,414 What's the point? There's no more money 482 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,417 unless you've got some magic new source of revenue. 483 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,294 Well, we've got to figure something out. 484 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:56,004 They've got us locked in here like prisoners. 485 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,757 Prisoners in our own school. 486 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,051 -Ah! -Ooh! 487 00:21:04,721 --> 00:21:07,808 This is a great way to make extra money. 488 00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:11,144 Renting out our cloakrooms to the overcrowded prison system. 489 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,939 Yo. I used to sit right over there. 490 00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:15,107 (yelp) 491 00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:16,942 (children whimpering) 492 00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:19,987 It's all right, children. Just ignore the murderer. 493 00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:23,115 As a bonus, some of our more troublesome students 494 00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:24,950 might be scared straight. 495 00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:27,619 Psst, kid. 496 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:29,830 Help me break out of here. 497 00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:32,082 I'll totally make it worth your while. 498 00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:33,542 I'm listening. 499 00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:41,508 ♪♪ 500 00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:26,386 Shh! 501 00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:32,184 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.